finally got my butt over to APOTHEKE. opened in september, this health conscious establishment is a virgo, of course! APOTHEKE’S pharmaceutical concept perfectly manifests the traits of the most perfectionistic sign. no medicinal detail is forgotten, from the ancient caduceus logo to the science beaker lamps, to the bottles of ancient herbs stored on the top shelf—every element is consistent with the trendier than hell apothecary theme. if any sign were to prescribe a drink a day to keep the doctor away, it would be virgo…

i didn’t get his sign, but albert trummer is certainly the showman… sag? leo? aries perhaps? this man can flare bartend. he sauteed the bar in absinthe, and threw a match on it! he then poured himself a glass of absinthe—which he promptly lit up. he proceeded to light an army of absinthe filled glasses on fire. when he’d had his fill of fire mr. trummer dowsed the wild beast with a gargantuan bottle of dom. once i saw the flames start to die down, my heart started beating again. by that time i’d located every exit in the joint— just in case. (i have a thing with fire.) we all got to sample the flambeed glasses of gooey, syrupy absinthe along with champagne to wash it down with.

but how are the drinks? they’re very good. when i first arrived i was feeling tired, so i prescribed myself a FIVE POINTS, which is listed on the prescription list as a “stimulant.” (house elixir #4 with hibiscus, italian bitters, new york state grapes, house-pressed sugar cane-infused cachaca.) not sure if it was the drink or the wall of fire less than an arm’s length away, but it worked.

the following was written by guest blogger Beth–thanks beth!

When you dig deep enough you find all sorts of astrological correspondences associated with different mystic schools of thoughts. From the twelve paths in the Jewish Kabbalah to tarot cards associated with each of the signs, astrology is everywhere. Practicing my own form of mysticism I’d like to propose just one more, that of the mystic art of Jell-O Shots. Now before you laugh, this system is a very carefully thought out, taking all of ten minutes, like most good pop spiritualism. It is based on the Jell-O system of colors and flavors and the propensity of each astrological sign to enjoy them.

There is a wealth of information on the Internet on how to create Jell-o shots, from actual recipes to recommendations to containers, so I won’t bore you with the details here. Seeing that there is only one good way to down a Jell-O shot, straight up, with a sharp intake of breath, it is also appropriate to do so in a meditative state, full of the awareness of the stuff of life, while reciting your particular mantra for the experience. So mix up your iconic flavor and follow me to the path of true enlightenment, or at least a good time, now that you have the appropriate guide.

Aries–Full of fire and energy, your color is red, your flavor strawberry, reminding you of the innocence of your youth and that awful strawberry wine you used to down while trying to woo the women or when the men tried to woo you. Meditation: Slow down and pay attention and you may reduce the number of accidents you experience. You just may lower of your insurance bill as well.


Taurus-For sensual Taurus, there just isn’t the right Jell-O flavor as unfortunately there is no chocolate jell, only Jell-O pudding, which does poorly as a Jell-O shot. However, with a little extra patience, with which you abound, and creativity, you can mix up clear gelatin and amaretto for a perfectly delightful Jell-O shot experience. Meditation: Why do the best things in life come with such a high price tag and when is there a sale?


Gemini–For the twins there are two options, lemon or lime, these corresponding to the two most prolific colors in your personal color pallet. Yes, Gemini, your wardrobe is just as talkative as you are, to the everlasting amusement of the people you know. Case in point, Hillary Clinton has Uranus in Gemini sitting on her Ascendant. She has this absolutely hideous yellow suit she insists on wearing. Some people just shouldn’t dress themselves and this might include you. That hardly matters to you as you are just in it for the good time anyway, Gemini. Meditation: Why do people think I talk too much? And why won’t they tell me about it?


Cancer–No one deserves a delicious taste treat more, and just about no one enjoys it better than you, if you can calm that nervous stomach, that is. You take care of everyone and then wonder why no one takes care of you, leading you to speculate if anyone really loves you. Relax, Cancer. While it may not help you find true love, a Pina Colada Jell-O shot will lead you in the right direction. Meditation: Can I buy those antique lamps without my spouse finding out?


Leo-the color that represents you, your majesty, is the color of sun and the color of true money, gold. And since you are a friendly sort, welcoming all kinds of people into your sphere to serve you, pineapple is the Jell-O flavor that best represents your sun shiny personality. Meditation: What can I do to get more attention? I deserve it, don’t I?


Virgo–Classic astrologers associate the color white with Virgo, seeing you are so pure and all. (Yeah, right!). And believe it or not, Jell-O has accommodated you with a special flavor, Margarita, which contains all the sweet goodness of the original. In the true spirit of Virgo, the saltiness is concealed within a pleasing picture of refinement and good taste. Just make sure you don’t down too many of these or your stomach will scold you like you scold the kids. Meditation: Why does my spouse say that I’m too critical? I’ll give ‘em a piece of my mind for that one.


Libra–Reference works are just as indecisive as you are, dear Libra, when it comes to ascribing a color to you. One site said, “Any color that is pleasing to the eye.” This only reflects your propensity for taking everyone’s sides in arguments, since you seek harmony above all things. After much consideration and experimentation, this astrologer ascribes the Jell-O flavor “mixed fruit” to your sign, as it seeks, just as you do, to achieve harmonious blending of diverse flavors. Meditation: Why do people want me to make decisions?


Scorpio–Simmering with life’s forbidden passions, you are symbolized by both the color black and red. This is why the flavor black cherry is tailor made for you. No stranger to the world of alternate experiences, Scorpio, you find this flavor association perhaps reminiscent of childhood cold remedies, but hey, you enjoyed those too. Meditation: How can I convince the cutie in the corner to come home with me?


Sagittarius–Your traditional color is purple, leading us to the ubiquitous grape Jell-O shot. But you are fire sign as well, as if you are not so copasetic with imbibing things reminiscent of childhood cold remedies, like our Scorpio friends. Give perky peach a try. Meditation: What excuse can I give the boss today?


Capricorn–Taciturn Saturn ruled people are not left out in the cold by our friends at Jell-O. The flavor cranberry was created just for you, with that sharp sweet tartness we’ve come to know from you. Whether you are hobnobbing with the gentry or slumming with the Jones, this taste treat will make people think twice about you. Meditation: What dirt can I dig up on the boss so I can win that promotion?


Aquarius–I don’t know why people keep calling you quirky. After all, Aquarius, you are a true pioneer, marching to the beat of your own drummer, showing the rest of us where the fun is to be had. While the world catches up with you, catch a berry blue Jell-O shot that will help you resonate to the forces of the Universe. Meditation: Why do people call me weird and why don’t I care?


Pisces–Lovely, ephemeral Pisces deserves something as effervescent as you are. For you, dear Pisces, I recommend the flavor apricot, which is just as unusual, just as refined and just a difficult to find as you are. Meditation: Why is the boss looking for me?


Beth is a professional astrologer with over twenty years experience counseling clients in career and relationship issues. Following in the footsteps of mediocre writers who start their own religions, Beth has decided to promote spiritual enlightenment through jell shots tied to astrological associations. She promises though that there is no need to find “clear” or that mysterious forces other than natural spirits will not take over your body. However, since Beth also promotes moderation in all things, to the vexation of her family, the use of Jell-O shots for enlightenment does not give her followers carte blanche to get blotto in the name of spiritual attainment. You can reach her at starrynightastro@aol.com for further guidance. Beth can be found at astrologymediapress.com/astrologyexplored.

lavender is ruled by mercury, and is hence a virgoan plant. this is true because of its feathery quality of leaf, and for the effect this flower has on our central nervous system. it calms us, and slows us down mentally. a recent study showed that when students sniffed pleasant scents before taking exams, their test scores were increased. that is with the exception of lavender… when students inhaled this scent, their scores was lower. here is proof positive that this little purple bud can effectively calm the monsters in our mind.

because the sacred virgin is a zodiacal worry-wart, she might benefit from prescribing herself a nightly (or lunchly, if needed) LAVENDEEP. her agile mind will become less frought with troublesome thoughts, allowing her to focus on what she does best: making money! yes it’s true dear virgo, you recently pushed pisces out of the #1 millionaire spot. more than money, what virgo seeks is perfection of craft, the lucrativity of which just happens to be a nice perk. not convinced? read on…

to prepare for my trunk show at HENRI BENDEL, i researched famous fashion designers and their zodiac signs. i could not believe how many top level virgo fashionistas there were… more than ANY OTHER SIGN! (Stephen meisel, Tom ford, Claudia Schiffer, Stella McCartney, Karl Lagerfeld, Michael kors, Anna sui, Hugo boss). these hypercritical angels are actually workaholic nazis… they possess a clarity of vision that can’t be tainted, a determination of will that can’t be swayed, and a heart of loving steel that can’t easily be won.

so, count your lucky stars if are loved by a virgo, after you pat yourself on the back first. because penciling into her agenda, or entering into her iphone, will be the following task: “mold love life into throbbing lump of steamy perfection.” so, bring on the white scarves, the four poster bed, and be careful of that halo. a trail of lavender syrup from the belly button to the pubic area would do wonders in warming this angel up. (because virgo rules this part of the body, it is a highly sensitive area to them). i can fondly tell you first hand, that in bed, virgo is no angel.

LAVENDEEP
1 oz lavender bud-infused vodka
1 oz lavender bud syrup
1/2 oz fresh lemon juice
lavender water spray or rinse
lavender soda

shake all ingredients over ice and strain into champagne flute. top with lavender soda.

combine lavender bud-infused vodka, lavender bud syrup, lemon juice and shake over ice. prepare champagne flute with rinse of lavender water, or mist inside of glass with lavender water spray. strain into lavender-misted / lavender-rinsed flute and top with fair amount of lavender soda. stir briefly and serve. garnish with sprig of lavender or purple flower if available.

lavender vodka:
infuse 750 ml vodka with 3 cups dried lavender buds (available at health food stores or online) allow to sit for several days and strain.

lavender syrup:
bring to boil 1 cup sugar, 1 cup water, 1/4 cup dried lavender buds and remove from heat. allow to infuse for 1/2 hour and strain. add splash vodka to act as preservative and store in fridge. note that using white sugar over raw will give a prettier pink color, while the latter will make for a darker hue.

lavender water:
available at health food stores or online. for greater control and speed, i prefer misting over rinsing of glass. transfer lavender water into small spray bottle that is dark in color and store in fridge.

sorry peeps, gwen’s taking a little vaca… see you after the holidays! ps, if you like this christmas card, download the wallpaper under VIRGO.

well, if ethyl alcohol is ruled by mercury (gemini & virgo), then “eco” alcohol certainly belongs to virgo. yes, the angel of purity and messenger of good, surely wishes those same qualities to be present in her libation. and good for the planet alcohol is infiltrating the spirit market; not a moment to late. check out the latest round up:
vermont made SUNSHINE VODKA is made from 100% Certified Organic Grains and All Natural Vermont Spring Water.

On the outskirts of Temperance, MI, surrounded by sunny fields of corn, you will find the THATCHER’S ORGANIC ARTISAN LIQUEUR distillery. thatcher’sâ„¢ apple spice, blueberry, chipotle, cucumber, dark chocolate, elderflower, pomegranate and trés interessant tres chiles liqueurs are all certified USDA organic.

the only organic port on the market that i know of, NV CASAL DOS JORDOES TAWNY PORT is made in beautiful portugal.

LHASA BEER: This ground breaking tibetan beer donates 10 percent of its annual profits to non-profit groups supporting education, health care, cultural preservation and other socially responsible initiatives in Tibet. awesome.

INOCENTE TEQUILA comes in a handblown 100% recycled glass bottle–intended to be upcycled into a decorative vase, or to store vinegar, etc. a natural cork is used in each bottle, and each one is packaged (or not packaged) without a cardboard box to save trees. the agave is grown using only natural products and the soil is nurtured in the same manner. cheers!

the first product from this new company is FAIR VODKA, made with organic quinoa and other grains from around the world. The FAIR TRADE SPIRITS COMPANY uses strictly fair traded ingredients in it’s products… way to go!

TEQUILA TIERRAS – Warming Planet…. Check
Ice Caps Melting…. Check
Economies in Chaos…. Check
It’s time for a change! Tequila Tierras is turning it around.

BLUE ICE ORGANIC WHEAT VODKA made with organically grown american wheat.

CASA NOBLE ORGANIC CRYSTAL tequila is All made from 100% Blue Agave Certified Organic. cheers!

CROP Organic Vodka comes in three flavors: plain, tomato, cucumber. they are all delicious, smooth and honestly do taste “fresh,” i can attest to that firsthand. made from certified organic american corn, it is NON GMO. imbibe with a clear Conscience.

ORGANIC NATION GIN & VODKA handcrafted from certified 100% organic American Rye, Wheat and Corn. Look for rye, coffee liqueur and ginger vodka up next from these earth-lovin’ peeps… be sure to check out the recipe section of their website for some very creative cocktails.

MOMOKAWA Organic saké are the first and only saké to carry the USDA seal. From the rice paddy through the brewery, every step is certified.
- Green bottle maximizes recyclability.
- Screwcap uses recyclable materials and no capsule which minimizes waste.
- Label is printed on Tree Free paper that is made from renewable fibers including bamboo and grasses.
- Naturally sulfite free, no measurable glucose, lower acidity than wine.

LIV VODKA comes from Long Island’s North Fork using local potatoes and deep spring water. This new brand prides themselves on water recovery and land preservation. not organic, but the next best thing.

CUCA FRESCA CACHACA is made with organically grown sugar cane, and it has recently partnered with the RAINFOREST ASSOCIATION to increase awareness and offer fundraising support. major kudos to you CUCU FRESCA!

based in CA, LOFT LIQUOR’S LEMONGRASS CELLO, RASPBERRY, TANGERINE, BLUEBERRY, SPICY GINGER & LAVENDER LIQUEURS come from certified organic and biodynamic farms across the USA.


PHILLIPS UNION teamed up with a local FARMER’S COOP to create PRAIRIE VODKA organic corn vodka. yah… gm-free corn… there ain’t no gmo’s in this vodka!!!


PEAK SPIRITS is a colorado distillery that makes CapRock Vodka, CapRock Gin, Peak Eaux de Vie, and Peak Estate Grappa-ar from organic fruit and pure mountain water. they are secured the holy grail, and have been certified organic.

CORE VODKA from New York (the Empire State) uses every part of the apple, yielding no waste. The distillery has plans to make biodiesel from it’s waste, and to go “off the grid”. meaning, lowering their carbon emissions to below 0%. GO NEW YORK!

TRU VODKAS is the latest brainchild from the peeps over at MODERN SPIRITS. it’s a certified organic vodka made from American wheat and comes in recycled, recyclable or biodegradable packaging. a tree is planted for every bottle sold. (Straight, Lemon or Vanilla flavors)

DEATH’S DOOR SPIRITS: the latest eco friendly liquor to come across my laptop, also has the coolest name out of the bunch. must belong to scorpio (sign of death & rebirth). vodka and gin is made with herbicide and pesticide free ingredients that are locally sourced whenever possible. check ‘em out… their graphic design is too die for.

MOD MIX: LOVE the only organic cocktail mixer on the market today. my fave it the Lavender Lemon Drop, made with certified organic fruit, herbs and sugar.

ORGANIC SPIRITS CO: a good assortment of scotch, gin and wine are all offered by this truly “dark green” company. their current brands are:
SWORDSMAN GIN
GLEN TORRAN WHISKY
ISLAND OF GEESE ISLAY WHISKY
OLD BRIDGE WHISKY

SQUARE ONE VODKA: made with Certified Organic American Rye, this vodka is double thick cream in a sea of skim milk. i know of one snooty GREY GOOSE convert, who now exclusively drinks SQUARE ONE. i’m sure there are many more just like her…

360 VODKA: the actual vodka is not in any way “green.” but 360 makes up for that tenfold by innovatively focusing on what no other brand has: the packaging. not only is it recycled paper with environmentally sensitive printing, but their distillary is powered by Renewable Energy, and they donate to environmental groups through their “close the loop” program. recently, 360 launched a new cola flavored vodka.

REYKA VODKA: this icelandic vodka is distilled using geothermal energy, provided by the country’s ubiquitous underground hot springs. plus, the website is hillarous – entering an age under 21 gets your redirected to seseme street.

SNOW LEOPARD: not an organic alcohol, but a very generous one that financially supports the preservation of the near-extinct snow leopard. kitty lover that i am, of course, they are my favorite eco liquor on the list. too bad this SNOW LEOPARD’s not available in the USA.

RAIN VODKA: made from Certified White Organic Corn. REPEAT: that’s NON-GMO corn! here in the USA! that in itself is a god given miracle. almost every single kernel of corn grown today is tainted, and carcinogenic. even that innocent pack of seeds you bought to plant in your garden this spring. GMO foods have been PROVEN to cause cancer. RAIN vodka will not cause cancer, drink up!

JAGUAR VODKA: ok, ok, i lied. SNOW LEOPARD VODKA is not my favorite eco alcohol. i have two fave eco alcohols: the former and JAGUAR VODKA. again, not an organic spirit, per say, but the company donates money to preserve endangered Jaguars. what is it about cats?!

ZODIAC VODKA: INTOXICATED ZODIAC’S soul mate is not an organic spirit, but one whose distillery Uses Renewable Energy. XOXO, luv ya ZODIAC VODKA ; )

SNOW QUEEN VODKA: definetely the most fashionable spirit on the list… the SNOW QUEEN ad resembles a vogue photoshoot. she’s one hot vodka, beautiful on the outside, and the inside, with Certified Organic Wheat ingredients.

RIVERS ROYAL RUM: it’s Grenadian. it’s Organic. don’t ask me where to buy it! you might start here.

LIQUID ICE VODKA: this certified, multi-grain (Wheat, Corn, Barley, Rye, Oat) Organic vodka is not only kind to mother earth… but to Jews as well. it’s kosher!

ORANGE V VODKA: this tasty orange vodka is not an organic spirit, albeit, their distillery Uses Renewable Energy.

VINCEREMOS ORGANIC SPIRITS: enjoy shopping guilt free from this Extensive Organic Selection. oh. yeah. liquor miles. oops. hmmnnn… time to offset your carbon!

X-RATED FUSION LIQUEUR: this pretty in pink liqueur calls upon Certified Organic Fruit Juices to make it’s equally attractive flavor.

VODKA 14: not only is VODKA 14 a Certified Organic American Grain vodka, but great care has been taken to ensure the environmental soundness of each aspect of the bottle. well, most aspects… baked on ink rather than plastic labels, and a “friendlier” pvc seal are just a few of the bottle’s eco perks. sleekly designed website to boot, a visit to VODKA 14 is advised.

WHITE GOLD RUSSIAN VODKA: claims to use organic grain. i can’t provide any evidence of that other than their word at the NEW YORK BAR SHOW last year. all though their printed collateral highlighted this, they have not updated their website to reflect their alledged environmentalism.

CHARBAY: the CHARBAY peeps use organic pomegranites, blood oranges and meyer lemons in their infused vodkas. hey, every little bit helps!

HALEAKALA DISTILLERS: thanks scott : ) the makers of the GMO-FREE, MADE-ON-MAUI RUMS, are hard core ecoists! They donate money to preserve the pacific whale population. and get this, their Company Vehicles are all run on Biodiesel. i feel their environmental policy is worth reciting:

“All products shipped from this store are packed in recycled materials. We, like everyone else in the industry, used to use styrofoam, but have now found superior recycled paper and cardboard containers which are themselves very recyclable. Byproducts which would be landfill waste in many other companies are used for energy. Everything used within the distillery which can be recycled is recycled. Our process water is returned to nearby cow pastures as a natural irrigation-applied fertilizer. Waste glass, metal, cardboard and other materials are taken to the Makawao recycling center.”

PURUS VODKA: even BUDWEISER is getting into the eco act with PURUS, made with locally harvested organic italian wheat. each bottle boasts a TREE-FREE label printed with soy ink which is then adhered with WATER-BASED ADHESIVE, and a SUSTAINABLY HARVESTED CORK stopper. woah…. PURUS also planted 100,000 trees in the USA as a promotional product launch. could PURUS be the king of vodkas?

FOSTER’S: In collaboration with the Australian government, Foster’s is Developing a Microbial Fuel Cell For Clean Energy Production. three cheers to their brand, STELLA ARTOIS, which recently sponsered a fundraiser to donate money to the fight against the illegal wildlife poaching trade.

JUNIPER GREEN ORGANIC LONDON GIN
UTKINS U.K. 5 ORGANIC VODKA (world’s only UNFILTERED vodka – extraordinarily smooth)
HIGHLAND HARVEST ORGANIC SCOTCH WHISKEY
PAPAGAYO ORGANIC RUM

4 COPAS TEQUILA: organically certified agave plants are distilled to create four different tequilas. to find out the difference between them, and other fascinating facts about this famous liquor, their website is a must. they have also nobly crafted a limited edition SEA TURTLE bottle, from which all proceeds were donated to seaturtle.org.

DEL MAGUEY MEZCAL: Soon to be CERTIFIED organic mezcal and tequila! check out their innovativerecipe section.

VEEV: Made with the trendy super-fruit, the acai berry, VeeV is not certified organic itself, but since the fruit is essentially wild-crafted it is pretty darn organic. VEEV takes impressive strides to give back to the environment from whence it came, with $1 from the sale of each bottle going towards green initiatives. VEEV is a carbon-neutral company, thanks to their wind-generated power, hybrid cars, and recycled paper packaging printed with soy ink from everything to the company’s business cards to cocktail napkins. also, their bottle is partially recycled – no word on whether that is POST-CONSUMER recycled or POST-INDUSTRIAL recycled. this makes all the difference in the world, as almost all glass produced is in some way recycled (post-industrial only).

BENROMACH WHISKY: Certified organic Speyside Single Malt Scotch Whisky. uses American oak casks made of wood from environmentally managed forests.

PRIVATE PRESERVE:and last but not least, PRIVATE PRESERVE presents the most environmentally friendly and most effective way that i’ve found to preserve wine. it’s also great for any oxygen-sensitive liquid including scotch, paint and vinegar. the can is recyclable aluminum and emits no cfc’s when spraying.

CHARTREUSE: this herbal liqueur is made with wild crafted ingredients, which is an act of environmentalism in and of itself.

ST. GERMAIN: the elder flowers need to make this incredibly delicious liqueur are wildcrafted and carted away on bicycles. sounds pretty eco-minded to me, no?

HANGAR ONE VODKA: small-batch, pot-distilled vodka, the next best thing to organic.

MAKERS MARK BOURBON: handmade using slow-cooked grain and other “old school” methods. again, not organic… but the next best thing and worthy of mention.

FRAGOLI STRAWBERRY LIQUEUR
is made with WILD strawberries. wild generally means sans pesticide, so that is a good thing. however, the brand’s use of carcinogenicRED DYE #40 is not.

check out my H2O IS THE MOST IMPORTANT COCKTAIL INGREDIENT post…

AVERNA, those italian spirit lovers known for their AMARO, will now go down in history for their new line of sambuca, limoni and mandarin liqueurs. the former comes in three flavors: traditional, licorice and citrus. mandarini is an orange liqueur, and limoni is a lemon liqueur. different from limoncello, which is a grain alcohol with lemon flavoring, limoni is distilled from sicilian lemons. apparently, Sicilian lemons are unlike any other in that they taste and smell like Zagara flower, which has a subtle orange flavor, and covers the Sicilian landscape. i can attest to the fact that it is indeed quite delic – really lemony and super smooth. perfect for virgo or gemini, as they are both ruled by the sharp thinking planet of mercury. there’s certainly no question that sharpness is one of lemon’s properties… and one of the speedy planet’s minions.

i was getting set to write my birthday ode to libra, when it struck me that i had completely forgotten to congratulate virgo for another fine year. so without furthur ado… two of my favorite virgos are boy hottie tom ford, and girl hottie cameron diaz. each display obvious virgoan traits. take cameron for one. she has become an earth angel, pure of heart, giving all her energy to educate the people of this planet on the atrocities of our home. this blonde goddess of perfection is pure goodness – solid white light. just hearing her famous laugh you feel her innocence and warmth. that is one kind of virgo. then we have another: tom ford. he is a perfectionist to the ultimate extreme of the word, as is his unfettered vision of fashion. as he famously declared, he is his own muse, and that is a fine line to walk. there is no gray area of mediocracy- only beauty and hideousness. all tom touches turns to gold, he is the untouchable golden boy that oozes sex. we are lucky to have both of them in our lives. happy belated birthday virgo!