it’s no secret that women love champagne. straight, mixed with juice, over a sugar cube with bitters—it doesn’t matter how, as long as its got bubbles! i count myself as one of the aforementioned champagne-smitten ladies. in fact, such a fan of carbon dioxide am i, please give me seltzer over soda any day of the week. hell, i’ll even take it over juice or water too! it’s those bubbles, you see… i’m crazy for em. in light of my effervescent tendencies, its only natural that i’m head over heels for japan’s gift to the world: sparkling sake. leave it to those japanese… they really do make the best shit.

being the ridiculously lucky girl that i am, a few bottles of ZIPANG SPARKLING SAKE found their way to my doorstep. so hear, hear dear readers… i officially pronounce SPARKLING SAKE to be champagne’s newest rival. move over frenchie, it’s time for champagne to take a break. let us ladies show SPARKLING SAKE some love, shall we?

Naturally carbonated, Zipang is light and sweet with a burst of bubbles. This Junmai Happoseichu is lively and bright with tropical fruits giving it medium body with a refreshing finish. try drinking from the bottle with a Zipang Straw! ($5.99)

sick of red bull and its hundred copy cats? well you’re in luck, because a new age of soda is upon us! first we had slow food (cool), then slow cocktails (awesome), then slow fashion (thank you god), and now slow soda (i’ve heard it all). meet DRANK BEVERAGE and MARY JANE’S RELAXING SODA…

both promise to “slow your roll,” and “focus a stress-filled life” respectively. sign me up!

MARY JANE’S Relaxing Soda contains Kava Extract and Passionflower. Effects are sometimes compared to that of alcohol, but do not cause side effects like drowsiness, “beer goggles”, tough-guy syndrome, or hangovers. Some have also compared the effects to marijuana (hence the name, Mary Jane) however, there are no side-effects such as, laziness, 2 am pizza runs, black light posters, or handcuffs. Recod for:
• Long Day • First Date • Road Rage • Job Interview • Deadbeat boyfriends • Lousy girlfriends • Long trip • Public Speaking

DRANK contains a combination of Valerian Root, Rose Hips, and Melatonin designed to “slow your roll” after a hectic day. A calming beverage, Drank is formulated to relax the body, mind, and soul. Drank is the perfect lifestyle beverage for those who can appreciate extreme relaxation. So grab a Drank and Slow Your Roll!

two valentine’s bevies that slithered across my desk:

1) FEVER: this non-carbonated herbal fusion is infused with only 100% natural ingredients. “FEVER heightens a persons euphoric state, while also stimulating the body and providing a natural source of energy.”

i had the KIWI STRAWBERRY, and it was good… i do believe it even stimulated me! at the time i drank it, i was in my booth at the jacob javitz center and thankfully i managed to control my lust. i simply channeled that energy into a killer sales pitch instead of…$#*!!:) considering that almost every buyer there was either a gay man or a straight woman, it wasn’t HARD to do. however, if i had consumed this delicious, libido-enhancing libation at any other time, well, i doubt i would have been able to control myself and the erotic FEVER this drink would have unleashed from the deepest caverns of my carnal self. shake things up this valentine’s day-mix it in a sexy nightcap.

2) LOVE POTION #9: this tasty cordial bears the perfect name for that fast approaching sexiest of days. oh yes, my fave, valentine’s day. i suggest pouring this fruity, tasty, sweet, delicious liqueur all over your lover’s sweet spots. oh how will you clean up that desirable mess? of course i strongly recommend preparing a valentine’s day COCKtail with it too… i do believe that LOVE POTION #9 is a guaranteed good time no matter how you use it.

“LOVE POTION #9 is a 60-proof, distilled spirits specialty that was developed over the course of five years and almost 1,800 trial-and-error formulations before its blend of 20 exotic tropical fruit flavors, including mango, peach, chocolate, vanilla, pear, apple, cherry, almond and many others, was perfected.”

finally got my butt over to APOTHEKE. opened in september, this health conscious establishment is a virgo, of course! APOTHEKE’S pharmaceutical concept perfectly manifests the traits of the most perfectionistic sign. no medicinal detail is forgotten, from the ancient caduceus logo to the science beaker lamps, to the bottles of ancient herbs stored on the top shelf—every element is consistent with the trendier than hell apothecary theme. if any sign were to prescribe a drink a day to keep the doctor away, it would be virgo…

i didn’t get his sign, but albert trummer is certainly the showman… sag? leo? aries perhaps? this man can flare bartend. he sauteed the bar in absinthe, and threw a match on it! he then poured himself a glass of absinthe—which he promptly lit up. he proceeded to light an army of absinthe filled glasses on fire. when he’d had his fill of fire mr. trummer dowsed the wild beast with a gargantuan bottle of dom. once i saw the flames start to die down, my heart started beating again. by that time i’d located every exit in the joint— just in case. (i have a thing with fire.) we all got to sample the flambeed glasses of gooey, syrupy absinthe along with champagne to wash it down with.

but how are the drinks? they’re very good. when i first arrived i was feeling tired, so i prescribed myself a FIVE POINTS, which is listed on the prescription list as a “stimulant.” (house elixir #4 with hibiscus, italian bitters, new york state grapes, house-pressed sugar cane-infused cachaca.) not sure if it was the drink or the wall of fire less than an arm’s length away, but it worked.

i don’t know about you, but valentine’s day is my least favorite holiday. relationship pressure, obligatory materialism, societal stigmas… the list of reasons why it sucks is endless. like taxes, it exists and must be dealt with.

enter PINKY VODKA—valentine’s day solved. it’s a bouquet in a bottle! boy or girl, any lovely human will lust for this exquisitely designed vessel. sexy and slender, it’s shape emulates the style of luxury perfume. inside, the hand-blended swedish vodka is a rose quartz shade of blushing pink derived from rose petals, violets and wild strawberries, which all come together in a subtle floral nose and flavor.

despite the flowers, your man won’t think this is too girly. he’ll like it even more if you play bad bad bartender and shake your booty while shaking up a rose water gimlet. don’t forget to rim… the glass. he just might propose on the spot.

visit PINKY, the world’s most beautiful vodka.
750 ml $50; WALLYWINE.com

DRINK FOR THOUGHT:
apparently we don’t know the zodiac sign of st. valentine. it is however, ironic, that this holiday was created in the month of aquaruius, which is the sign of universal love. we as a society have chosen to take aquarius’ one love concept and make it intimate. valentine’s day is now a romantic love holiday, rather than the holiday of love for humanity it was perhaps intended to be?

PSHENYCHNAYA VODKA is known for its keepsake bottles, each of which houses russian vodka. i was lucky enough to snag one of these collector’s edition bottles this christmas! check him out—the look on his face indicates he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders (much heavier than a sleigh full of toys).

the kraken’s edgy, dark, completely unique theme makes this spiced spirit not only a delectable treat for the palate, but one for the eyes and mind as well.

this is the most interesting story book, and bottle of booze to arrive on my doorstep yet. inspired by a lethal and beastly sea monster, this black rum has a history to match. apparently the kraken is quite fond of human flesh, all though there are no survivors to attest for this horrific creature’s existence. all witnesses have of course been devoured, seaside.

this bottle, along with the kraken survival guide, is the perfect gift for the guys on your list. don’t delay—get this extraordinarily designed book, or poster, for FREE by signing up for it at kraken.com. the antiqued illustrations are awesome, the fonts are impeccably chosen, and the writing is near perfect.

• bottle is a Victorian Rum replica
• $16-20 buy it here:
• blended in the Caribbean with over 11 spices

La Palapa just released its very own cookbook! owners Barbara Sibley & Margaritte Malfy co-authored ANTOJITOSBY, FESTIVE AND FLAVORFUL MEXICAN
SMALL PLATES, which includes several of la palapa’s best recipes. such as their ridiculously delicious MANGO MEZCAL PALOMA.

i once reviewed the astrology of La Palapa in my post here. because it opened in august, the west village LA PALAPA a is a Leo!

Barbara & Margaritte are celebrating their publication by serving complimentary antojitos and margaritas tuesday, november 10th, 5 to 7 pm:
LA PALAPA EAST VILLAGE
77 Saint Marks’s Place • RSVP 212.777.2537
(SIGNED COPIES OF THE COOKBOOK WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE $22.99)

¿Cómo se dice “appetizers”? Antojitos, of course! The north-of-the-border love affair with Mexican food heats up with this luscious collection of 75 authentic Mexican small plates, invigorating salsas, and refreshing drinks from two of Greenwich Village’s favorite restaurateurs. Barbara Sibley and Margaritte Malfy are chef/owners of the fabulously popular La Palapa restaurants in New York City, where they deliver addictively authentic Mexican fare-food for people who love fresh, soulful cooking.

Traditional and artisanal, the recipes in Antojitos were collected from Barbara and Margaritte’s many years of traveling and living in Mexico.
No one does antojitos like Barbara and Margaritte. A stylish design filled with colorful Mexican folk art and food photographs round out this spicy treat of a book.

Just in time for christmas—perfect for the latin Lovers on your list….!

well you’re in luck thanks to MAGIC HAT BREWING COMPANY unseen until now, at least by me, this secretive brewery was shrouded in darkness. i knew not of its existence until recently when i tasted their #9 ALE. it was all it should have been with a numerological value of number nine: friendly, happy, substantial, round, sweet, good. but better than my description is the one on the website: “A beer cloaked in secrecy. An ale whose mysterious and unusual palate will swirl across your tongue and ask more questions than it answers.” the peeps at MAGIC HAT BREWING have a way with words!

HOWL is the name of their BLACK WINTER LAGER, which is a bit too strong and bitter for my taste. die hard beer fans of the male persuasion will love it. so named HOWL because in the dead of winter only the howling of wind can be heard. unless you live in colorado, in which case the howls of wolves will drown out that of the wind. this winter is predicted by the farmer’s almanac to be one of the coldest ever in new york. the farmer’s almanac has a 70% rate of accuracy. better stock up on some HOWL now because i have a feeling none of us are going to enjoy running out to get some in the dead of this winter.

what other tricks does MAGIC HAT BREWING have up its sleeve? they have a magical FEAST OF FOOLS VARIETY 12-pack, just in the nick of time for thanksgiving and christmas. it contains the above mentioned selections and also a LUCKY KAT and WINTER ODD NOTION 09. they recco “creative holiday cookery and enlightend seasonal eating” by pairing their brews with culinary beer recipes. find the recipes online at MAGIC HAT.NET and bon appetit.

as i probably mentioned about a hundred times now, i was priviledged enough to spend every other summer of my childhood in scotland visiting my family. until i started to get bored of the bi-annual excursions (in my teens), the trips were the highlight of my year. of particular interest to my three sisters and i, were the TENNENT’S LAGER GIRLS. my grandfather (pisces, of course) would enjoy a beer religiously every lunch (which was at one o’clock ON THE DOT) and we would always wait in anticipation to see which girl’s cans would adorn the can that particular day. each girl seemed prettier than the next, and we would have serious debates as to which was the most beautiful. i don’t believe we ever agreed on this even once! apparently i saved one of these hilarious cans (shocker) because i found it in my stuff (of which there’s a plenty) and just had to blog it. i think it’s time for a PAM ANDERSON or DITA VON TEESE–inspired micro brew, don’t you? check out some other old girlie cans on THE GREAT AUSSIE BEER SHED