why, then, ’tis time to do ‘t. Hell is murky! Fie, my lord, fie! a soldier, and afeard? aah yes… lady charon’s inner turmoil with the Mojito!

Okay. I confess. I was probably not an ideal candidate for a position as bartender in a kitschy new downtown bar a few blocks from Capitol Hill in Washington DC. What I did have were sideshow skills that fit the décor of the place, a willingness to learn a skill set that would encourage me to improve my stunted social mannerisms and a decent penchant for combining flavors. It was with enthusiasm that my trainer took me on, seeing that on a practical level I was an excellent choice for the job.

He’s a Capricorn, and has made a stellar career as an Intoxicologist not to mention earning a nice fat nest egg as a stockholder in some of the most successful bar enterprises in the District. He kept my instruction in the art clear, concise, practical and businesslike, the way only an extremely effective Capricorn can. I was in good hands and I have never forgotten one of the main principles upon which my education was based: Unless there is also food service at the establishment, tools such as blenders and muddlers should not be necessary behind the bar.

For the most part I have found this to be true, and from a practical Capricornian standpoint, I understand why with regard to the time-consuming nature of drinks that require multiple tools for their creation. From my Scorpio viewpoint, however, I immediately wanted to explore this “forbidden” side of things. He and I talked about it often during the slower late afternoons. He imparted a number of tips and tricks for when I would inevitably find myself in such a circumstance, which I did after just a few months behind his bar, at another establishment where my sideshow skill set was also marketable and desirable in a bartender. It was here I learned about blender drinks and layered drinks and ice cream drinks and a whole host of other decadent and time-consuming masterpieces of mixology that absolutely fascinated me and made me want to build drinks that were bigger, better, grander and, if possible, organic. It was also where I met my nemesis in the tippling world. Here, dear readers, was where I learned to truly detest and loathe one drink in particular in a deeply fundamental way. The copious amounts of this drink I had to manufacture in a given evening did nothing to endear it to me.

It was the Mojito.

This was the drink that, made the way the establishment wanted it made, took more time and energy than we typically had to spare on a busy evening. A single person at a 12-top would order one and suddenly I had orders for 11 more. It was nonstop, insidious and annoying. The drink had no real creativity to it at all, in my humble opinion, since it was essentially a lesser version of the Caipirinha, and those who ordered it did so because it was easy to toss back and order again quickly. As a shot drinker, this offended my Scorpio sensibilities in the worst way. The time, the effort (albeit comparatively slight) and the number of items needed to create the drink were simply wasted on these folks. If one is drinking merely to become intoxicated, there are easier ways to get there, certainly.

Not that anyone here is suggesting that. Not at all.

I blame my snobbishness completely on my Sun Sign. My Cancer Ascendant and Libra Moon grant me the appropriate amount of guilt to balance it, fortunately.

The Mojito and everything it came to stand for in my world was eventually a source of great irritation. I expressed these sentiments often following my time as a professional bartender, mostly to other bartenders as well as tipplers and non-tipplers alike. Many would agree with me, shaking their heads in sympathy, but it wasn’t until I shared the story with a dear friend who is an accomplished and talented chef that I began to think differently about it all. She, a brilliant and vibrant Aries, put forth the challenge that I rethink the Mojito entirely, to imagine what would take it from a simple tasty slightly-above-rail drink to a truly amazing and artistic cocktail, and By All The Mad Gods, to TAKE BACK MY POWER with regard to it all.

She also pointed out that getting over myself would be a good step in the right direction as well. She is a Good Friend.

Being a fellow foodie myself we spoke at length about it, comparing ingredients, contemplating substitutions, hypothesizing about methods for combining the flavors more effectively and interestingly, until we had put together the version you see below.

It is also worth noting here that all of the items listed below were readily available in one or both of our Airstream travel trailers. We were both on the road at the time and created this at a campground in the middle of a southwestern desert.

THE FOODIE’S MOJITO

Half a lime, segmented into 3 portions for easy muddling
1 part Mint Simple Syrup (combine 12 to 15 fresh mint leaves and equal parts water and sugar of your choosing, bring to simmer and let reduce for 8 to 12 minutes)
1 part light rum (I use Gosling’s Gold)
3 parts Pellegrino (or Sparkling Water of your choosing)

Muddle the first two items in the bottom of a tall glass. Add ice to fill and top with final two items. We made two versions o the simple syrup, one with raw cane sugar and one with brown sugar. Both had their pros and cons and I encourage you to experiment t see what you prefer. For an extra bonus of a summery treat, take a half handful of blueberries, raspberries or blackberries and toss them in to be muddled with the first two items. The sparkling water item is also good when of a species that adds a slight flavor infusion, such as lime or citrus.

Garnish liberally with mint leaves and serve to those you know will appreciate the effort precisely because they would go to it themselves. You know the people you thought of immediately while reading the previous sentence? Yes, them. Make a pitcher followed by a few phone calls. The sharing time of summer is worth it.

Cheers~Charon, The Most Dangerous Beauty Alive
theswordswallowers.com
oddangel.com

Charon Henning is one of a handful of female sword swallowers in the world today. She’s performed on carnival midways and at wine tastings, on theater stages and grassy lots.

Charon also reads tea leaves professionally, a skill she inherited from her grandmother on her mother’s side of the family. Tea-leaf reading is a wonderful and elegant form of entertainment, suitable for many time periods and venues.

Charon loves being on the road seeing new places and meeting new people. Want to catch Charon on the road for her live show? View her tour schedule here. Or, book Charon’s talent for your next event!

Spring is in full force now that I’ve trekked from the desert back across the continental divide. I’ve watched trees go from buds to fresh green leaf, plants from bulbs and shoots to full flower and animals grow amorous to the point of being somewhat careless with life and limb. With the exception of the suicidal animal tendencies, it is difficult NOT to feel inspired to do something of the same thing. Love is definitely in the air, and if you are a fellow allergy sufferer, it is also in your sinuses. It is the time of year that makes me grateful for the hairlessness of my cats.

Yes, cats, plural. We have a new addition here in the Silver Twinkie, and he is a very, very gregarious red-headed Libra with a Sagittarius Ascendant. We’ve named him Cesare.

He’s into absolutely everything, with all of his senses, and wants to get up close and personal with all things new, be they people, food or other sundry items found in the Airstream. He’ll make a toy out of anything at hand and never gives up trying to play with our resident Virgo, our dear, sweet Brundlefly.

To her credit, Brundlefly has been reasonably tolerant of the new addition to the family, not biting hard enough to leave marks and only hissing twice or three times per day. Her Scorpio Ascendant has puffed her up with jealousy, so I’m careful to give her all the loving to which she’s become accustomed, and then some. She’s so very much the embodiment of her sign right now that one feels very privileged when she comes and sits in one’s lap, even moreso if she then begins to purr.

Cesare is, of course, oblivious. He’s very, very busy figuring things out and just really doesn’t wish to be bothered until he’s done with whatever he’s investigating, playing with or sniffing to within an inch of its life. His new life is an endless series of amusing items to be befriended and won over and this includes Brundlefly, who, aside from us, is the center of his Universe. He loves her, wants to play with her, snuggles up to her when chilly or sleepy or simply feeling amorous in his neutered-male sort of way.

She, for her part, is quite clear that all of this activity this will take place on her terms and on her terms only. As I write this, the negotiations are ongoing.

The contrast in personalities is making me painfully aware of my own tendencies for a short temper and overly critical point of view. I watch Brundlefly growl and hiss and generally expend an enormous amount of energy on accentuating the negative points of the new addition. It makes the times she accepts his snuggling, or seeks him out for a snuggle during a mid-afternoon catnap marathon seem positively effortless and carefree. In turn, I examine my own habitual routines of doing just that, ignoring the beauty of the paradise about me, wherever we may happen to be, and instead concentrating on the one semi-annoying piece of news received in that week’s mail drop. More damaging still, I watch Best Beloved wilt with resignation as this ongoing cycle generates more negativity and less joy in the moments we share out here on the road.

It’s enough to make me come to this month’s column with a great big Mea Culpa and an apology for Best Beloved that I know won’t make up for anything in the long run. But Cesare, who is worming him way beneath my arm and shoulder at this very moment, has a lesson for me in all of this: Persistence in Positivity. No matter how many times I place him on the floor, he is back up on my keypad, purring, ready to engage and play. No matter how many times Brundlefly swats him away, he finds a different vantage point from which to stalk and pounce in an attempt to begin games anew. No matter how cold it gets at night he snuggles contentedly beside us both, a low rumble always in his chest. No matter how harshly we call his name to chide him for playing with the garbage r some other such nonsense, he responds with a raised tail, wide trusting eyes and a loud, steady purr.

In short, he is all joy, all the time. And I could do with his reminder to stick with my initial thoughts and impressions of the spring season, to follow his example of striving to find the positive in every moment, even if it is fleeting and rare, and greet my days and my Best Beloved with persistent affirmations of joy in the moment and with the company.

It is on this note, dear readers, that I give you a very simple and delicious recipe for a springtime cocktail that I have affectionately named the Cat Toy. Enjoy with someone you love who loves you back with an unconditional joy that reminds you to savor every moment of every beautiful day.

CAT TOY
1 part Triple Sec or Orange Cointreau
Splash of vanilla vodka
2 parts pineapple juice
1 part sour mix* (Make your own! MUCH better than purchased!)
1 part orange juice

I garnish this with a piece of fruit, an umbrella and a gummi worm, the combination of which truly resembles a moderately expensive cat toy.

*SOUR MIX: a mixture of 50% simple syrup (equal parts sugar/water) and 50% fresh squeezed clear citrus (lemon or lime)

Enjoy!

Cheers~Charon, The Most Dangerous Beauty Alive
theswordswallowers.com
oddangel.com

Charon Henning is one of a handful of female sword swallowers in the world today. She’s performed on carnival midways and at wine tastings, on theater stages and grassy lots.

Charon also reads tea leaves professionally, a skill she inherited from her grandmother on her mother’s side of the family. Tea-leaf reading is a wonderful and elegant form of entertainment, suitable for many time periods and venues.

Charon loves being on the road seeing new places and meeting new people. Want to catch Charon on the road for her live show? View her tour schedule here. Or, book Charon’s talent for your next event!

Change and Resistance: Uranus and Saturn Face Off

One rushes on stage with new concepts and shocking evolution while the other clings to the status quo and suppresses rash behavior. The last time they played together Americans elected the first African American president while a “mavericky” woman and her old-school running mate kept things strange. It’s not surprising our president is a liberal thinker (Uranus) who is forced to work within old structures (Saturn).

Now they’re back. What do they have in store for us? It was 45 years ago, in and around 1965, when these two last danced. We know what happened then: civil unrest, riots, burning bras, drug use, war resistance, assassinations, free sex, and liberation of people in ways we hadn’t seen before. What will these two bring this time, especially when Pluto, who is hanging around behind the curtain, comes on stage this summer to add his part?

When the idea for change comes from within ourselves, we usually like it. It is inspiring. But when change comes in as an independent with a mind of its own (Uranus) it can seem like a rebellious teenager. Just when we think things are calm it sulks around, keeps us awake at night, and makes us want to gain greater control.

Wise souls among us know that change is all we can truly depend on. We can’t escape it, though we try, and in many cases we must let it be. Mostly we try to avoid change because we have no idea what is in the future and we really don’t want to alter our world view. We decide it is best to keep things as they are, or how they used to be (Saturn). Plus, we don’t want to experience the feelings of loss (Pluto) that often accompany change. What if we terribly miss what we had?

(image) The idea of change, and change itself, brings up unnecessary fear which then causes unwarranted stress on the body and mind. One of our tasks as human beings is to overcome fear, especially the useless fears that pervade our modern lives. I see fear restricting the body, mind, and spirit, shrinking one’s life experience into an uncomfortable little box. It takes our minds to dark narrow places where we lose a broader, more balanced perspective.

We have the unknown future in front of us, unpredictable circumstances will occur, our country and its people will do or say things we don’t like. We can either grow our fear or live every moment as if it were sacred, remembering that even the most unusual of circumstances can be profoundly healing and enriching, bringing in higher wisdom and understanding.

One way to overcome fear is to develop a sense of trust and faith in something greater than yourself, such as a belief that there is something beyond the ordinary mundane life. World religions and philosophies have sought to provide this for people, but many of them have fallen short of actually teaching a person how to be free from useless fears. The responsibility is on each individual.

One way to reduce fear rather than expand it is simply to become aware of it, knowing that the wiser path welcomes change, accepts the inevitable, and chooses not to fear it. By becoming aware of our habitual reactions to the unknown future, by acknowledging our resistance to the feelings loss brings, by being aware of the times when someone says something that refutes our world view and ignites our own fears, we can approach life in a more balanced way.

When we try to keep our lives, surroundings, and viewpoints the same, Uranus and Pluto will surely come along to roll them around a bit, and thankfully so. Do we really want to live a life so thin and safe that there is no new experience, expansion, or advancement of the mind and spirit? In these rapidly changing times, which are just gaining momentum, the more we can flow with change and allow our minds to be free, the better off we will be. Perhaps in the process, we can grow calmer, wiser, more mature, and more peaceful. Cheers, Christina

a note from gwen: i’m proud to bear the middle name of sutherland, which is the family crest of SANS PEUR (without fear.) this motto relates so well to christina’s article that i just had to include it! that the mascot is a wild cat, makes me like this logo all the more… just remember everyone, FEAR is an acronym for “False Evidence Appearing Real.” this valuable snippet of information was channeled from ascended master, HILARION.

if you’re brave enough to try some classic cocktails, these two would be an honorable place to start:

ROB ROY (courageous scottish hero who gwen’s related to way back)
1.5 oz Scotch
0.5 oz sweet Vermouth
Fill a mixing glass with cracked ice. Add Scotch and sweet vermouth. Stir and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a cherry.

TRINITY (sexy, fearless heroine of the gwen’s favorite movie, the matrix.)
3/4 oz dry vermouth
3/4 oz sweet vermouth
3/4 oz gin
Stir all ingredients with ice, strain into a cocktail glass, and serve.

Dr. Christina Grant is a holistic healer and spiritual counselor who uses astrology in her work to help people better understand their purpose and life circumstances. She works in person and by phone. She has helped hundreds of people attain physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being through personal transformation. Her writing is published nationwide. To learn more, see WWW.CHRISTINAGRANT.COM

meet IZ’s newest guest blogger: the lovely dr. christina grant!

Just when I think there isn’t anything new going on, I get to awaken to a fresh perspective. I recently spent a weekend with a group of 80-somethings. Well, not the entire weekend, but a good portion of it. My mother-in-law, Sue, a gentle-but-mysterious Scorpio (who has never had to color her long dark hair) is now 80. We surprised her one moon-lit Friday night with a party attended by a group of about 50 people. “Amazing an 80-year-old has so many friends!” I heard someone quip. Most of the attendees were indeed her friends, the others were family and her sons’ friends who she knew since they were in grade school.
photo credit
I got to meet many of Sue’s friends, a couple of whom had difficulty navigating the few stairs leading up to the party venue, but all of whom were as mentally spry and fun-loving as teenagers. Dollie, a direct and sassy Aries, is one of Sue’s Stanford friends that lives, not surprisingly, on her own in San Francisco. Just like a ram, she still hikes Bay Area trails. Hip, fashionable, and smart, she wasted no time starting up conversation. “You know what I did last April when I turned 80 to avoid a surprise event like this?” she asked me. “I ran off to Egypt.” Egypt? At 80? Later, I told a friend, “I wasn’t aware of the prejudice I’ve had. I bought into the assumption that we all get decrepit and senile, presumably around age 75.”

But Sue, Dollie, and the others taught me otherwise. Wise and loving, sparkling eyes standing out in wrinkled, knowing skin, I learned some things from my elders this weekend. I learned that life can be fun and interesting and engaging well beyond middle age. Maybe more fun than it is right now. That friendships can last forever. I learned that it isn’t unusual for an 80-year-old woman to be beautiful, stylish, engaging, smart, interesting, funny, and in-the-know. And I had been concerned about entering my mid-40s.

The following night we hosted a smaller dinner party at our house in Sue’s honor. Guests included her 84-year-old sister Claire, here from Geneva nimbly traveling the States visiting friends and family, and 80-year-old Trudy, another one of Sue’s best friends. Nothing about these women was any different than the rest of us except they are calm, patient, and wise. Nothing got past them, either. There is something reassuring about being with these capable, aged women. If they haven’t seen it all, they’ve at least heard about it. As the evening wound down, I was sad to see them go, Claire promising we’d meet again soon.

Many times I’ve considered writing about honoring our elders, because it is something our society doesn’t do. Instead, we ignore them, toss them aside; they are the invisible ones in our worship-the-youth culture. Is this practice we have of valuing youth over wisdom enlightened? We need our elders to teach us, to fill the great void of depth and meaning our culture faces, to be our stability just as they are in indigenous cultures. When will we let them?

I had the great good fortune that weekend of spending time with folks who grew up during the Great Depression, lived through World War II, educated themselves, then experienced decades of interesting events and change while keeping hopeful and engaged in life. If only I could see them on a regular basis, perhaps I’d never think that there isn’t anything different going on in life. No, Dollie would have Egyptian adventures to tell while knowing the best plays and museum exhibits in the city, Sue would know why Stanford beat Cal and why Obama had to send a few more troops to Afghanistan, Claire would demonstrate how at 84 one can keep her mind as spry as a college student, and Trudy would exemplify how to remain calm through anything while preparing crab (“do you have a hammer?”) for a friend’s birthday dinner.

in honor of the gin in this cocktail… how sick is this necklace? buy it! in celebration of women’s golden years, let’s toast with the MERRY WIDOW…cheers to ageless living!

MERRY WIDOW NO.1
0.5 tsp Benedictine
1.0 dash Orange Bitters
1.25 oz. Gin
1.0 each Peel Twist Lemon
0.5 tsp Sambuca
1.25 oz. Dry Vermouth

Stir all ingredients (except lemon peel) with ice and strain into a cocktail glass. Add the twist of lemon peel and serve.

Dr. Christina Grant is a holistic healer and spiritual counselor who uses astrology in her work to help people better understand their purpose and life circumstances. She works in person and by phone. She has helped hundreds of people attain physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being through personal transformation. Her writing is published nationwide. To learn more, see WWW.CHRISTINAGRANT.COM

today a very famous LEO signed her latest cook book for me… martha stewart has always been one of my favorite american icons. perhaps it’s because we both have a scorpio ascendant in our charts — i’ve blogged her DIY projects several times on this site. i just love her magazine, her product lines, her love for pets, her animal rights activist daughter, and most recently, her fondness for astrological libations. yes you heard me correctly… the june and november issues of martha’s LIVING magazine feature a cocktail recipe for both gemini and scorpio! i’ve been going on about astro tipples for years now, and there’s always room for another perspective on an infinitely interesting subject. hey, who doesn’t love to drink with the stars? welcome to the party martha!

MARTHA STEWART’S DINNER AT HOME is brand spanking new, and today was martha’s very first signing to promote the book. she dedicates the book “to all the homemakers in america, pressed for time yet caring for their families.” my favorite feature of the book is the way it’s divided according to the four seasons, spring, summer, fall and winter, which makes eating seasonally just that little bit easier. martha then creates 13 four course menus for each season, making sure to include carnivore, vegetarian and vegan meals among them. along the way, she highlights certain foods such as rhubarb — pointing out that this vegetable is not a fruit! vanilla stewed rhubarb, mint pesto, rosemary yorkshire puddings, minty green tea milkshakes, coffee with cognac and cardamom and tequila-soaked lemon sorbet are just a few mouth-watering recipes to be found in this handy collection. ($35)

Meet The Most Dangerous Beauty Alive… traveling Sword Swallower Charon Henning. We here at IZ are extremely fortunate to have been selected by the aforementioned for the publishing of Charon’s new column, The Cocktail Sword. Let’s give her a warm welcome, a big thanks, some clickage on her blogs: THE SWORD SWALLOWER and ODD ANGEL, and maybe even catch her show live!

Our Airstream is a Leo with a Libra Ascendant. We know this because we have the original bill of sale from the 27th of July, 1966.

I am firmly of the belief that an Airstream, or any other travel trailer or RV, is not officially born until it passes into the hands of its first family (I feel this way about tattoo machines as well, but that’s for another post for another time). Sitting stationary on a dealer’s lot or just outside of the factory is a form of gestation, a time of waiting, of being open to growth when the time is right. The addition of the human element, and subsequent elements that it brings, such as the sharing of food, warmth and companionship, are truly what breathed life into our beloved 1966 Airstream Safari. The entire 22 foot length is brimming with stories and history, which we have been continuing to create with it since the turn of the Millenium.

Currently our family consists of two swordswallowers, one an Aries with a Cancer Ascendant, the other (me) a Scorpio with a Cancer Ascendant, a hairless Sphynx cat, a Virgo with a Scorpio Ascendant (which, now that I think on it, explains an awful lot about her behavior that I’d originally attributed to her breed … ), and the Airstream. All travel brings adventure, all meals are an event and, if you don’t mind me saying so, the sex is pretty awesome. At least for us. The cat’s been spayed. (we call her Brundlefly.)

Given the above variables, it should come as no surprise that we keep a well-stocked cocktail lounge on board. Since we have limited space, we have to choose our bottles, flasks and flavors very carefully. There are foundation liquors to be considered, especially among those of us born under signs that are very much about physicality and the pleasures derived therein. We must always have a few staple items on board at all times and each must serve at least two purposes in the grand scheme of mixology. There are social issues to be considered as well. Living full time in a modern aluminum gypsy wagon means our community changes with the seasons, sometimes with each sign in the heavens, and once the level and style of tippling, or lack thereof, has been established, we know approximately what to bring with us to a gathering.

Generally between 4 and 6 each afternoon the residents of a given campground, fairground, or even the odd truck stop, will come together for some fellowship, story sharing and general face time. At this time each Autumn we find ourselves toting along one of our annual favorites, right as the leaves are changing, when there’s a snap in the air and when something warm to drink is preferable to anything rocks or shaken. Between Mabon and Samhain is, in our opinion, the very perfect time for mulled wine.

Wine is a perfect libation for the time of year when active external energies are waning and quieter introspective energies are one the rise. Dryer red wine is what we always mull, being signs that prefer the rich full bodied flavors of the dark reds, and we offset the slightly bitter taste of the darker cabernets with local honey as we heat it over the open flame of our stove. To this mixture we add allspice, ginger, nutmeg, orange peel, cinnamon, cloves and lemon peel, all spices that complement the seasonal apple harvest as well as the other edible gourds that grace our tables during this time of year. On the chance that we lack one or more of these spices in our pantry, or are simply pressed for time before we gather with others, we have on board as a backup single serving tea bags of Organic Mulling Spices from R.W. Knudsen Family, four bags of which will satisfactorily mull an entire bottle of wine. A little less than half an hour’s simmering will generally suffice.

Being able to buy locally is one of the pleasures of this sort of ambulatory life, and we explore local flavors more fully at this time of year than at any other. The quality of local wines varies greatly but we have never yet been disappointed by any of the small family owned and run vineyards that welcome people each Autumn to their lands offering the same sort of fellowship all of us on the open road enjoy regularly. Many will package their own combinations of wine, honey and spices together for purchase and it is never a bad idea to invest in such a kit, the ingredients having been selected by those who know their product best.

So as the weather chills a bit we will regularly enjoy the pleasures of mulled wine as a complement of the season, watching the steam rise from our mugs as we step outside in the evenings, able to see every star in the sky from our front yard, wherever that might happen to be. As we transition from Libra to Scorpio in the heavens it is a grand time to reward your previous month’s balancing act with a bit of sensual goodness straight from your local vineyard. Enjoy!

CHARON’S MULLED WINE:
*1 bottle red wine of your choosing (we prefer the dryer to the sweeter)
*1 cinnamon stick
*1/4 teaspoon whole cloves
*1/2 teaspoon each of the following, wrapped in cheesecloth and tied
(Organic is always best … ):
allspice
ginger
nutmeg
orange peel
lemon peel
*Organic honey to taste

Combine all in a pot on the stove or over a fire, bring to a low boil and reduce heat to simmer, stirring, for about half an hour. Ladle into mugs to serve and go slowly! It hits you like a well-aimed pillow.

Cheers~Charon, The Most Dangerous Beauty Alive
theswordswallowers.com
oddangel.com

Charon Henning is one of a handful of female sword swallowers in the world today. She’s performed on carnival midways and at wine tastings, on theater stages and grassy lots.

Charon also reads tea leaves professionally, a skill she inherited from her grandmother on her mother’s side of the family. Tea-leaf reading is a wonderful and elegant form of entertainment, suitable for many time periods and venues.

Charon loves being on the road seeing new places and meeting new people. Want to catch Charon on the road for her live show? View her tour schedule here. Or, book Charon’s talent for your next event!

join Leonardo DiCaprio in celebrating ANIMAL ACTION WEEK from oct. 4-10th, 2009.

leonardo’s rising sign is the side of him that we all see, and it happens to be LIBRA – the pleasant, diplomatic, beautiful sign. but while you might not guess it from his easygoing, charming demeanor, leonardo is so much more than a pretty face. he’s a scorpio! just look at those hypnotic, piercing, deep blue scorpion eyes that say it all. when you think about it, his scorpio sun sign does make sense… after all, his passion for animals and do-gooding in general is almost unmatched, even by hollywood’s generous standards. he’s intensely devoted to saving the world. way to go leo!

Your actions matter, every teensy little bit will help an animal somewhere. the non-human creatures of this earth have only our voice to help them, so let’s use it this week with all of our might and help those most in need. from the harsh plains of africa, to the dark alley behind your apartment, to the underground scientific lab, there is an elephant, mouse, kitten, tiger, monkey struggling to stay alive. choose which species you’ll help this week and TAKE ACTION!

the following was written by guest blogger Beth–thanks beth!

When you dig deep enough you find all sorts of astrological correspondences associated with different mystic schools of thoughts. From the twelve paths in the Jewish Kabbalah to tarot cards associated with each of the signs, astrology is everywhere. Practicing my own form of mysticism I’d like to propose just one more, that of the mystic art of Jell-O Shots. Now before you laugh, this system is a very carefully thought out, taking all of ten minutes, like most good pop spiritualism. It is based on the Jell-O system of colors and flavors and the propensity of each astrological sign to enjoy them.

There is a wealth of information on the Internet on how to create Jell-o shots, from actual recipes to recommendations to containers, so I won’t bore you with the details here. Seeing that there is only one good way to down a Jell-O shot, straight up, with a sharp intake of breath, it is also appropriate to do so in a meditative state, full of the awareness of the stuff of life, while reciting your particular mantra for the experience. So mix up your iconic flavor and follow me to the path of true enlightenment, or at least a good time, now that you have the appropriate guide.

Aries–Full of fire and energy, your color is red, your flavor strawberry, reminding you of the innocence of your youth and that awful strawberry wine you used to down while trying to woo the women or when the men tried to woo you. Meditation: Slow down and pay attention and you may reduce the number of accidents you experience. You just may lower of your insurance bill as well.


Taurus-For sensual Taurus, there just isn’t the right Jell-O flavor as unfortunately there is no chocolate jell, only Jell-O pudding, which does poorly as a Jell-O shot. However, with a little extra patience, with which you abound, and creativity, you can mix up clear gelatin and amaretto for a perfectly delightful Jell-O shot experience. Meditation: Why do the best things in life come with such a high price tag and when is there a sale?


Gemini–For the twins there are two options, lemon or lime, these corresponding to the two most prolific colors in your personal color pallet. Yes, Gemini, your wardrobe is just as talkative as you are, to the everlasting amusement of the people you know. Case in point, Hillary Clinton has Uranus in Gemini sitting on her Ascendant. She has this absolutely hideous yellow suit she insists on wearing. Some people just shouldn’t dress themselves and this might include you. That hardly matters to you as you are just in it for the good time anyway, Gemini. Meditation: Why do people think I talk too much? And why won’t they tell me about it?


Cancer–No one deserves a delicious taste treat more, and just about no one enjoys it better than you, if you can calm that nervous stomach, that is. You take care of everyone and then wonder why no one takes care of you, leading you to speculate if anyone really loves you. Relax, Cancer. While it may not help you find true love, a Pina Colada Jell-O shot will lead you in the right direction. Meditation: Can I buy those antique lamps without my spouse finding out?


Leo-the color that represents you, your majesty, is the color of sun and the color of true money, gold. And since you are a friendly sort, welcoming all kinds of people into your sphere to serve you, pineapple is the Jell-O flavor that best represents your sun shiny personality. Meditation: What can I do to get more attention? I deserve it, don’t I?


Virgo–Classic astrologers associate the color white with Virgo, seeing you are so pure and all. (Yeah, right!). And believe it or not, Jell-O has accommodated you with a special flavor, Margarita, which contains all the sweet goodness of the original. In the true spirit of Virgo, the saltiness is concealed within a pleasing picture of refinement and good taste. Just make sure you don’t down too many of these or your stomach will scold you like you scold the kids. Meditation: Why does my spouse say that I’m too critical? I’ll give ‘em a piece of my mind for that one.


Libra–Reference works are just as indecisive as you are, dear Libra, when it comes to ascribing a color to you. One site said, “Any color that is pleasing to the eye.” This only reflects your propensity for taking everyone’s sides in arguments, since you seek harmony above all things. After much consideration and experimentation, this astrologer ascribes the Jell-O flavor “mixed fruit” to your sign, as it seeks, just as you do, to achieve harmonious blending of diverse flavors. Meditation: Why do people want me to make decisions?


Scorpio–Simmering with life’s forbidden passions, you are symbolized by both the color black and red. This is why the flavor black cherry is tailor made for you. No stranger to the world of alternate experiences, Scorpio, you find this flavor association perhaps reminiscent of childhood cold remedies, but hey, you enjoyed those too. Meditation: How can I convince the cutie in the corner to come home with me?


Sagittarius–Your traditional color is purple, leading us to the ubiquitous grape Jell-O shot. But you are fire sign as well, as if you are not so copasetic with imbibing things reminiscent of childhood cold remedies, like our Scorpio friends. Give perky peach a try. Meditation: What excuse can I give the boss today?


Capricorn–Taciturn Saturn ruled people are not left out in the cold by our friends at Jell-O. The flavor cranberry was created just for you, with that sharp sweet tartness we’ve come to know from you. Whether you are hobnobbing with the gentry or slumming with the Jones, this taste treat will make people think twice about you. Meditation: What dirt can I dig up on the boss so I can win that promotion?


Aquarius–I don’t know why people keep calling you quirky. After all, Aquarius, you are a true pioneer, marching to the beat of your own drummer, showing the rest of us where the fun is to be had. While the world catches up with you, catch a berry blue Jell-O shot that will help you resonate to the forces of the Universe. Meditation: Why do people call me weird and why don’t I care?


Pisces–Lovely, ephemeral Pisces deserves something as effervescent as you are. For you, dear Pisces, I recommend the flavor apricot, which is just as unusual, just as refined and just a difficult to find as you are. Meditation: Why is the boss looking for me?


Beth is a professional astrologer with over twenty years experience counseling clients in career and relationship issues. Following in the footsteps of mediocre writers who start their own religions, Beth has decided to promote spiritual enlightenment through jell shots tied to astrological associations. She promises though that there is no need to find “clear” or that mysterious forces other than natural spirits will not take over your body. However, since Beth also promotes moderation in all things, to the vexation of her family, the use of Jell-O shots for enlightenment does not give her followers carte blanche to get blotto in the name of spiritual attainment. You can reach her at starrynightastro@aol.com for further guidance. Beth can be found at astrologymediapress.com/astrologyexplored.

last year i blogged martha stewart’s halloween bottle labels. they were such a popular search item, that i’ve created some of my own this year. a big halloween treat from me to you!

see last year’s labels here.

THE PENIS IS RULED BY SCORPIO, MASTER OF ALL THINGS SEX. hold an intoxicated zodiac bachelorette party and have a fun, sexy, creative, naughty and memorable night!

to get the party started everyone gets a gift bag containing coasters, a shot glass in their zodiac sign (for tasting gwen’s cocktails), and an infusion jar to create their own love potion that night. check out the cute tag on the jar below:

the theme of the party was scorpio’s penis pepper. long and hard, bloody shade of red, spicy yet salty, J/K, just spicy ; )

any way you slice it (ouch, sorry boys) the chili pepper is ruled by mars, scorpio’s ancient ruler now considered co-ruled by pluto.

i demonstrate how to make culinary cocktails, based on the premise of medieval astrology where plants have signs like people. we use flower waters, jam, infused liquor, oil, and all sorts of unusual ingredients for each creation.

everyone gets a baroscope shot glass in their own zodiac sign to taste the cocktails. it’s a pretty intense hour and a half mixing pisco, cacacha, vodka, gin, tequila, rum… best done on a full stomach-eat before you come.

here i am… kvetching on cocktails.

i was watching the nature channel the other day and two scorpions were getting it on. those sick bugs stung each other. with real venom. a sting too much could have killed the other one, but that’s their idea of foreplay. just a side note here that scorpios can tend towards zodiacal sadism.

this is one proud mother. just look at that infusion… i believe it contained dried hibiscus petals, fresh ginger, mexican chocolate and fresh picked nasturtium flowers. funnily, joyce is a cancer, the mothering sign. what a mix, i’d love to taste that.

how 50’s pin up this? the bride, sarah, a scorpio herself! can you tell?

what bachelorette party is complete without the official penis martini glass? good to the last drop… mmnnn….

thanks to my friend and palmreader, miss. joyce another scorpio, for helping out.

say dicktini for the camera!

thanks to amanda aries, sarah scorpio, colleen scorpio, courtney cancer, joyce cancer for being such fun students. cheers to the groom bradley (capricorn), who found his match made in heaven. cappie and scorpio are two sexual powerhouses with stamina galore. their sex will indeed be hot until death do them part.

hold an intoxicated zodiac bachelorette party!