when i was younger, and knew less about astrology then i do now, i was fearful of anyone born under the sign of scorpio. all i’d heard was that they were intense and vindictive, and that was scary. but then i had my chart done, and found that low and behold—i had scorpio rising! of course, i commenced learning more about the sign immediately and found that yes, vindictiveness is one of our more negative traits. but when it’s used–it’s usually well warranted. ha, now how scorpio does that sound?! so my sun sign is still capricorn, but my ascending, or rising sign is scorpio, which most astrologers argue plays as significant role in a personality as the sun sign. susan miller even goes as far as to say that you should read both-your sun and rising sign- forecasts each month. i’ve grown to quite like having scorpio in my chart and now at least i sort of understand the constant upheaval i seem to induce, and serious persona i am, and drama queen i can be. if you haven’t had your chart professionally done, put it on your holiday wish list. i’ve read many a chart, and i don’t believe one has ever hurt me in any way. i didn’t go slash my wrists, or gamble my savings, or join a sex club (though that might be a good thing). if anything, it has made me understand parts of me that i never did before, and inspired me to improve my weaknesses so well explained in the reading.

Max Heindel in Simplified Scientific Astrology [1865-1919] has this to say:
“Thus, when you have given an astrologer the data of your birth, you have given him the key to your innermost soul, and there is no secret that he may not ferret out. This knowledge may be used for good or ill, to help or hurt, according to the nature of the man. Only a tried friend should be trusted with this key to your soul, and it should never be given to any one base enough to prostitute a spiritual science for material gain.”

i don’t recommend getting an online quickie (unless it’s with owen) chart, as sometimes they are not accurate. try using a real human-what a novelty! alternatively, try using VEDIC astrology, rather than WESTERN. the former takes into consideration the rotation of the earth’s axis, while the latter does not. wherever you decide to have your chart done, you might just find you have some COSMIC BAD ASS in you too! cheers to the scorpio, one of the most invincible signs of the zodiac. happy birthday owen ; )

how appropriate that the sun is in SCORPIO on october 31st. yes, ALL HALLOW’S EVE belongs to the SCORPION, a small insect capable of delivering instant death. not unlike its ruler, PLUTO, who’s so tiny she’s been discounted as a planet, but is actually more powerful than any of the planets! yes, hers is a body of celestial immortality and COUNTESS DRACULA was certainly of the SCORPION persuasion. which leads us neatly into our topic at hand, or throat - VAMPYRE VODKA. and like that elusive transylvanian, this blood red liquor is extremely hard to locate!
try canyon city, colorado - they have it! a must for this weekend’s halloween party. serve with these uber cool skull swizzlers for the perfect halloween treat. mind you, they’re more of a trick for your wallet, at $100 per set. the photo doesn’t do them justice though - these things are FAB and if you’re gonna drop a c note on stir sticks, let it be these! get em at NEIMAN MARCUS.

today i attended the now famous GARLIC FESTIVAL in new york’s hudson valley. what started out with a few farmers getting together after the harvest for a garlic pot luck dinner has turned into a major tourist attraction. the two day event draws 50,000 visitors who can watch cooking lessons, learn gardening tips, listen to live music, buy arts and crafts and of course, sample many types of GARLIC flavored food!

garlic is a scorpio. not because it’s odorous breath strikes you when you least expect it - the next day, through your pores… but because of it’s spicy personality, it is ruled by the feisty planet of mars. not only that, but due to garlic’s regenerative powers, it is also ruled by pluto. to grow garlic, you simply bury it in the garden - the bulb will regenerate itself into a plant over the winter! the outermost planet is one of life and death, whose nature is exhibited in the rising of the phoenix, or the growing cycle of a garlic plant, or if you will, the undead vampire. scorpio will not be extinguished easily, and this little clove is soooo scorpion in nature!

and who can forget it’s vampire-fighting capabilities? just in time for halloween cocktails!

BITE ME NOT
3 oz freshly extracted apple juice (substitute unpasteurized cider if you don’t have)
2 oz garlic-infused gin*
1 1/2 raw simple syrup*
1/2 fresh squeezed lemon juice

GARLIC-INFUSED GIN
chop up 3 cloves garlic and put in 750 ml bottle of gin. allow to sit in dark place for 3 days to 3 weeks. agitate to expedite infusion time. strain and store.

RAW SIMPLE SYRUP
shake in container a mixture of half water and half raw organic sugar until dissolved. store in fridge.

(created by gwen sutherland kaiser)

FUNNEL CAKES WITH CARAMELIZED GARLIC

GARLIC ICE CREAM

GARLIC COOKIES

GARLIC INCENSE

thanks to KUCHENLATEIN for hosting WEEKEND HERB BLOGGING #102.

(below: the hilton in las vegas. where’s paris)?

I’ve always had a bathroom fetish, as i suspect many people do. don’t invite me over to your pad, because as soon as you turn your back, i’m opening the refridgerator door, and paying a visit to the lou. maybe it’s because i have scorpio rising - and scorpio rules the bladder and urinary tract - and makes for a very curious person too. but i like to see how the lavoratory is arranged, what color palette is used, what accessories have been chosen, how clean it is, and so forth. it’s like, studying the whole place is sensory overload, so i take a slice of the joint for the overall gist of what’s goin on in my friend’s crib. sorry peeps, i know, i just blew a whole year’s worth of invites.

(below: Mystique Night Club in Bangkok, Thailand).

anyway, same holds true for bars. ever notice how kids always have to check out the bathroom? without fail, during every restaurant meal, the lil’ one will say they have to go - even if they don’t. i still enjoy perusing an establishment’s facility. ONCE. but, when you’re out for the night, and break that infamous seal, seems you never leave the damn bathroom. so, don’t break the seal! but when you simply cannot hold it any longer, and finally cave in to your bladder’s irrepressible desire, there is no pleasure greater than that of the flush!

here’s to breaking the seal, web style,where you can go, without really going.

URINAL.NET will post any cool toilet photos you send them, giving even greater pleasure to the flush.

(above: Stamperl bar in Vienna, Austria).