This word “universe” is now in ordinary speech in a way it wasn’t just a few years ago. It turns up in this way: “The universe didn’t want me to have that house.” Or, “Apparently the universe wants me to go to Arizona instead of Maui.” It is used in relationship talk as in, “The universe will send you the right partner when you’re ready.” It’s used in job conversations, too: “Dan was fired because the universe didn’t want him in that position. It wasn’t right for him.”

We now talk about The Universe as if it is an all-powerful being, capable of running our lives. We have elevated it to more than mere matter, energy, planetary configurations, black holes, the Milky Way, and vast space. It is now… get ready… God. (photo)

Perhaps many people have become more comfortable in this day of church-and-state correctness to use a term that doesn’t exclude, turn off, or aggravate anyone. I believe “the universe” is this term. Who can be offended by it?

To answer my own question, someone like my mother. Raised by a Southern woman who in her older years was proud to have a PTL Club bumper sticker on her Pontiac, she would be offended or at least annoyed if I said, “Mom, the universe must not want you to have perfect vision anymore.” Or, “The universe obviously doesn’t want you to run on the treadmill, otherwise your foot wouldn’t hurt when you do it.” She would be certain I’d gone off the deep end.

Just the same, in this bubble we call California, I hear phrases such as these as a matter of course. Wondering whether it was primarily “new thought” communities using the term, I got my answer just yesterday when reading about retirement in an ordinary New York Times bestseller. I saw “The Universe” has its hands in that field too, right there in the practical, no-nonsense advice pages of what to do with your money.

So has God become The Universe? Or did The Universe become God, which now is reverting back to itself? I don’t have this answer, but I do have a sense of what the term implies.

You’d probably better mix yourself a drink at this point, how about a UNIVERSE COCKTAIL?

½ oz Midori melon liqueur
½ oz Vodka
½ oz Lime juice
½ oz Pineapple juice

Shake for 30 seconds in an ice-filled shaker and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Relax and read on.

If The Universe is an active participant in our lives, our worldview includes the idea that conscious and unconscious forces play a role in ultimate order. One assumes circumstances play out for a reason. From this perspective, giving some responsibility to the all-powerful Universe for the way things turn out is a relief. It’s not entirely our fault when plans go awry and we make messes. Even catastrophes might have a higher purpose.

Last week an environmental group spokesperson said perhaps the oil devastation in the Gulf of Mexico is yet another sign from The Universe that we must develop alternative energy. Many people agree. However, to see it conveyed on national news indicates people believe things happen for a reason. The notion has slipped into the national psyche without the “God” terminology that seems to separate people.

People want to believe that the worst of circumstances are not just random and their suffering isn’t for nothing. We look for signs showing whether some good might result from the terrible situations we humans can find ourselves in. This is one of the roles belief in God plays in the lives of humans. But to discuss God in mixed company is awkward. Unless you are in a fairly homogenous community, religion is best not broached if one wants to keep the peace. Perhaps this is why “The Universe” was birthed.

Beyond explaining the unknowable, The Universe might have further practical use. If we adopt the idea that all things happen for the best and highest good of all, we foster faith that The Universe does not conspire against us, but actually causes and prohibits things from happening in order to keep us on our right path.

For example, I remember stories just after the attacks on September 11th. People said they were meant to be on one of the airplanes or in their office but something odd prevented them from actually getting there. “The Universe stopped me from being on time because it wasn’t my time to go.” It is given the same meaning as, “God wasn’t ready for me yet.”

Maybe when we use “The Universe” to talk about our lives, we get to have a little faith in a Higher Power without the added discomfort around revealing religious beliefs. I don’t have the answers to this, but I do find humanity’s dance with religion and faith an interesting one to consider, especially in this place we call a melting pot.

Dr. Christina Grant is a holistic healer and spiritual counselor who uses astrology in her work to help people better understand their purpose and life circumstances. She works in person and by phone. She has helped hundreds of people attain physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being through personal transformation. Her writing is published nationwide. To learn more, see WWW.CHRISTINAGRANT.COM

ASCENSION is a book unlike any i’ve found in that it really goes into detail on each and every ascended master. for example, call me a caveman, but i was not aware that our statue of liberty was modeled on an ascended master! in this fascinating book, the author includes countless personal anecdotes–from being accosted by an angel posing as a trash collector, to being passed on the road by an ascended master cyclist–she’s got some luck!

unbeknownst to me, we new yorkers have our very own city protecter: the roman goddess, Libertas (laten for liberty), who is the embodiment of freedom. The author writes that while visiting mount shasta, she saw a vision of lady liberty hovering above manhattan pouring golden light on the city. so how cool is that? the big apple is a golden delicious… ironcially, that’s my favorite variety.

so to those of you wondering, what the hell is ascension? the author explains that “ascension means freedom. you can live anywhere and materialize anything. you can continue to serve on the earth plane or another plane. you can travel anywhere at the speed of thought and materialize your desires instantaneously.” pretty sweet, huh? the author goes on to ask “are you ready to live as an immortal being? after all, your higher self is as spiritual now as it will ever be, and you are as immortal today as you ever will be. your soul lives eternally. it is possible to become an ascended master right now.”

ASCENSION: Connecting with the Immortal Masters and Beings of Light, by Susan Shumsky $15.99

Set of 9 Whisky Stones: $20 teroforma.com
Ideal for chilling your favorite spirit without diluting its flavor
Milled in Vermont by the oldest soapstone workshop in the US. Add three chilled stones to your next dram, let stand for 5 minutes and enjoy. Set of 9 stones + muslin storage bag. Not for use with larger volume drinks.

via the O magazine

after an exhausting week manning my booth at the nyigf, i arrived home sweet home to find that my cats had all come down with tapeworm. spending about 2 days disinfecting every surface in the house i then came to discover that they had roundworm too. awesome. repeat. since half of my cats are 17 plus year old geriatrics, this infestation didn’t sit too kindly with their antique systems. they’ve still not quite recovered. between pill popping (or jamming), enemas, specialized diets, quarantined litter boxes, ridiculously unnatural shedding, and you don’t even want to hear what else, i’ve become head nurse in a feline infirmary…

now i guess the houseplants were feeling neglected from all this sudden attention the four-legged furballs were getting, so they made a play to get some of gwen’s lovin’ for themselves. they went and caught a raging case of mealy bugs–YAH! my fave : ( if you’ve never encountered mealy bugs, well you just don’t know what you’re missing. i’ll spare you the details.

it was around this time that the inclement weather (light snow) caused a power outage for 1 1/2 days. not too unusual for these here parts… but the electric did come back on, and i jumped in that shower faster than you can say glogg, turned the heat up to 85 degrees, made food on the stove (as opposed to the bbq) and checked my email. i was as happy as a pig in shit.

and then the shit hit the fan, and a tree brought the power wire down. utopia equals game over. i needed alcohol and i needed it now. but as you might imagine, i’d grown weary of chilled cocktails—so i decided to try my hand at swedish cuisine, and attempt the traditional libation known as glogg, or in this particular case, ghetto glogg. best prepared in 45 degrees with a flashlight and gloves. i managed to scrounge up some brandy, red wine, honey, anise, cardamon and cloves in total darkness and throw them on the grill. i almost threw myself on there too. though tasty, the ghetto glogg was mcdonalds hot. i threw in a snowball and went to bed. crawling underneath my 16 covers, with my 16 cats, and my cup o’ ghetto glogg, i vowed not to leave the second floor of the house… because guess what? heat really does rise. now was as good a time as any to read my tarot cards… drawing the devil card for my immediate future, things were decidedly not looking up. worried, but resigned i finally passed out. i woke to 2 feet of snow–and counting–and 3 trees blocking the driveway. damn… should have made my escape while i had the chance. now i was trapped (devil) and had to find someone with a chain saw asap. every friend i called was busy with their own disaster. i was screwed. thank god for the neighbor i’d never met who was out walking his dog as i desperately tried to free tree branches from their snow tombs. this earth angel came back with his chain saw, and as soon as the trees were cleared the plow truck showed and i high taled it outta there. it wasn’t until 6 days later that i regained access! S I X L O N G D A Y S. thank god for starbucks and their free wifi.

NON-GHETTO GLOGG:
* 2 (750 milliliter) bottles red wine
* 2 ounces dried orange zest
* 2 ounces cinnamon sticks
* 20 whole cardamom seeds
* 25 whole cloves
* 1 pound blanched almonds
* 1 pound raisins
* 1 pound sugar cubes
* 5 fluid ounces brandy

1. Pour wine into a large pot. Bring to a boil over medium high heat. Wrap orange zest, cinnamon sticks, cardamom and cloves in cheesecloth, tie with kitchen string and put into pot. Let boil for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Stir in almonds and raisins and continue to boil for 15 more minutes. Remove from heat.
2. Place a wire grill over the pot and cover with sugar cubes. Slowly pour on brandy, making sure to completely saturate the sugar. Light sugar with a match and let it flame. When sugar has melted, cover pot with lid to extinguish flame.
3. Stir and remove spice bag. Serve hot in cups with a few almonds and raisins.

if you don’t want to go though the tedium of research, you can cut right to the chase with some groundbreaking films put out by new production company, REALITY ENTERTAINMENT. they have several titles from which to choose, but THE CONSPIRACY TO RULE THE WORLD, FROM 911 TO THE ILLUMINATI, is a good one to start with. i suggest you watch this video to learn how deeply entangled in this web we really are. this film exposes stuff i’ve never seen on the web! 911 was planned: a european news anchor said the tower had fallen as it stood erect in the background. it fell 20 minutes later, so obviously the press release went out early. there were two huge attachments on the bottom of each plane, and they’re captured on film! the hole in the pentagon wall could not have been physically made by an airplane–it’s been proven. numerous firefighters swear they saw bombs go off while they were inside WTC. and my personal favorite is the benign enough looking, but very sinister organization called COMMON PURPOSE. well now, how many times have i heard obama speak those two words in his speeches? apparently the phrase “common purpose” is simply another way of saying “new world order” which is code for “slave system.” hint: we’re not going to be the slave masters if you catch my drift… this video will WAKE you up to the new reality that is upon us!

the key to solving our little predicament lies in staying positive and acting constructively. if you watch an enlightening video like this and then want to kill yourself, well we haven’t solved a thing, have we? that would be akin to someone saying, oh gosh i don’t where to start conserving energy, or saving money, or eating healthy — there’s just too much! and then they just shut down and don’t do a thing because they are frozen with fear, or overwhelmed with depression. just remember KNOWLEDGE IS POWER, and the only way to win this war (if you believe we are its victims) is to THINK POSITIVE, BE HONEST, ACT KINDLY and be a RESPONSIBLE CITIZEN of the earth abiding by SPIRITUAL LAW. that my friends, is the only way we can win. so what are you waiting for? stop the denial… admit you should be more informed… watch the mind-blowing flicks from REALITY ENTERTAINMENT…

mais oui, c’est vrai! a retailer in france, AUX2MONDES now carries intoxicated zodiac candles. to me, this is just the coolest thing in the world. herve fond, owner, has a penchant for environmentally friendly, wordly-type products. this is obvious in his choice of name: ALL THE WORLD. merci, monsieur fond––i am honored.

you know… a few years back, a psychic dice reader, JEAN NASOL, predicted that intoxicated zodiac would be sold internationally and i couldn’t quite believe it. but here we are… and it turns out she was right. a votre sante!

TAUREAU: “Bougie à la cire de soja et aux huiles essentielles. Un parfum créer juste pour vous ou pour votre conjoint, réconfortant, et apaisant. L’hibiscus appartient a Vénus est et bénéfique aux Taureaux”

meet FOR TEQUILA LOVERS, the first and only social network for tequila lovers, by tequila lovers. filled with anything and everything about tequila, agave, mezcal and mexico, this site is right on trend. but wait… there’s more, shop the STORE! it’s stocked with dozens of rare and hard to find tequilas. who dares say TEQUILA’S NOT THE NEW VODKA?

and where else can you get free therapy? meet BOOZE LADY: SPIRITUAL ADVISER, who calls this site her home. read below for my recent Q & A:

IZ:
1. WHAT IS THE THE PROPER TIP AMOUNT ON COCKTAILS?

2. A COCKTAIL RECOMMENDATION TO GET ME CLOSER TO GOD?

BL:
1. IT DEPENDS AND 2. IT DEPENDS. TIPPING IS LARGELY SUBJECTIVE AND AFFECTED BY VARIABLES INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO SERVICE, AMBIENCE, POUR, MOOD, AND ALLURE OF THE SERVER. IF YOU WEREN’T OFFENDED OR CAUGHT IN A FIRE, YOU CAN’T GO WRONG WITH 20%. IN A PINCH, ASK YOUR HELPFUL SERVER.

2. AS TO GETTING CLOSER TO GOD, THAT DEPENDS ON WHO YOUR GOD IS. MAYAHUEL, THE TRAGIC BRIDE OF QUETZALCOATL, WAS PUT IN THE EARTH WHERE THE AGAVE SPRANG FOURTH, HER BLOOD TURNING TO NECTAR. TO ARRANGE A MEETING WITH THESE DEITIES ONE SIMPLY NEEDS TO CHOOSE A NICE AGAVE TEQUILA, LATHER, RINSE AND REPEAT AS NEEDED. I’LL EXPECT A FULL BRIEFING ON YOUR MEETING…..

ALL THE BEST, BL

ok… so… thanks booze lady… i guess i know what i’m doing tonight… mmmnnnn…. tequila all over!

if you are as curious as i about this new dawning age, the movie 2012, will put to rest a fair amount of your questions. the movie explains how earth is entering the age of aquarius — engrained in our heads if for no other reason than the catchy song “Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In.” from the musical Hair, it was released as a single in 1969 by The 5th Dimension. interestingly, the 5th dimension is what the human (or Terran race as aliens refer to us) is in the process of now ascending to. we are finally leaving the 4th dimension… yah!

In astrology, the Age of Aquarius is one of the twelve astrological ages. According to astrologers, it is either the next age to come, or else it is the current age. Each astrological age is approximately 2,150 years long, on average, but there are various methods that can make ages much longer and shorter depending upon the technique used.

VISIT 2012: THE MOVIE

LUJURIA
one bottle dark beer
double shot godiva chocolate liqueur

this particular bottle of violet liqueur has been sitting on my bar for over a year… talk about procrastination. yup, i’m the queen of it and so is taurus—happy birthday to all you bulls out there! perhaps my nasty habit of putting things off stems from my moon in taurus placement, and if it doesn’t at least that makes a good excuse. i have a lazy bull sitting on my moon, so leave me alone world! actually, when nick newmont did my chart for me, he told me i had a hunter’s moon… this apparently is the culprit behind my hesitance to take action. i like to wait and see how things play out, and then before ya know it, i’ve missed the damn boat!

last weekend i was out hiking with my dogs when i stumbled upon these incredibly abundant and exquisite violets—i was compelled to pick them for garniture in a tipple that called for Crème de Violette, and here we are! the violet is ruled by none other than the planet of beauty and love, venus. hence the voilet falls under the dominion of taurus. unlike scorpio, the overtly sexual sign, taurus prefers sex behind closed doors. but prefers sex none the less. (thanks to nick newmont for that insightful analogy) most of us would never know taurus was exceptionally talented in the sack, or particularly well endowed, and that they consider sex a basic need of life along with shelter, water and food. but it is true. so if you think all that cute taurus across the hall does well is drink, cook and look pretty, think again. she can hit every g spot in the human body too. provided it’s behind a beautiful, well built, antique, solid oak, closed door… cheers to taurus and making love in true taurean fashion… delectable, tantalizing, enduring, appreciative, satisfying, taurus.

AVIATION COCKTAIL
2 ounces gin
1/2 ounce freshly squeezed lemon juice
2 teaspoons maraschino liqueur
1/4 ounce Crème de Violette