I’ve preached the importance of water in cocktails before (see my post here). dale degroff feels a quality drink starts with ice made from the purest water. chef ellen post allocates a full chapter in her cookbook to hydration: “Stay Hydrated––Always.” i’ve always felt water is as important to us as oxygen and sleep, and in my humble experience i found there’s no water like kangen water.

There are hundreds of waters available today, all promoting a unique feature from some sacred spring from which it sprung, to anti-oxidant qualities rivaling that of acai, pomegranate and cranberry put together, to the extreme eco-friendliness of recycled sewage or tap water. my good friend jan swears by Jennifer anniston’s smart water. world renowned Masaru emoto happens to market his own brand of energized water as well, which i’m sure works. if you think for a moment, i’m sure you know AT LEAST one person that has invested in a water ionizer. personally, i’m hopelessly in love with the water from my parent’s upstate NY well, so much so that i’d schlep 20 gallons at a time back to manhattan with me. the bottom line is that we love water, and obviously believe the quality of our water matters.

during my trunk show at henri bendel i met a doctoral student who was familiar with kangen water—he said it was an amazing product. i was surprised he knew of it, as most new yorkers have never heard of it. i naturally assumed he had his own kangen water machine, but he told me he didn’t. surprised, i asked why not? he told me he doesn’t need one, because he transmutes his own water! Ok, well, if you are transmuting chemical-laden city water into healthy vibrant water with only the power of your mind, or some other newfangled device, don’t bother finishing this article… you don’t need a kangen machine! But if you’re like me–not fully able to alchemize lead into gold just yet–then read on my Neanderthal friend, read on…

i first learned that i had an acidity problem 1 1/2 years ago. doctor mony vital, explained to me that i could simply alkalize my body by cutting out the highly acidic foods such as EVERYTHING I SUBSISTED ON! as a vegan, my pickins were all ready slim, and now i had to nix such dietary staples such as citrus, tomatoes, soy, mushroom, white rice, dairy, garlic, coffee and that little old thing called S-T-R-E-S-S. it took over a year to accomplish this herculean feat, but for the most part, i’ve done it. (contact mony for a free one-time health analysis—it will blow your socks off. watch mony’s groundbreaking video here.) no sooner of course, did i kick those devilish foods, when i learned about the secret shortcut called KANGEN WATER. to think i could have just been drinking this water the whole time–it’s good i found out about the kangen water after i gave up my favorite goodies or i’m pretty sure i’d never have done it.

the fact is that kangen water can FAST TRACK you (and your pets) to an alkaline body and better health. ideally, you’ll want to eat healthier and drink healthier. but in this article, we’re just talking water… If you don’t know that acid is a serial killer, well let me be the first to tell you. Acid is one of the major routes of disease: both mental and physical. Our bodies are 70%-90% water. In light of this scientific fact, There should be no question that each of us is our own walking fish tank. Keeping fish (especially tropical) requires regular testing of the tank water to ensure the safety of the fish. If the water is too acidic, the fish will sicken or die. When this happens, the entire tank must be emptied and refilled with fresh, neutral water. If we treated our bodies more like the fish tanks they were, we’d be quicker to identify, and even prevent, disease. Obviously we can’t exactly change the water in our body-tanks, but we can pump fresh, high-quality water into them. just know that like men, all water is not created equal; and all water ionizers are not created equal either. i’ll get into the specifics of that later…

MY EXPERIENCE WITH KANGEN WATER THUS FAR:
i was introduced to kangen water only a few months ago––in that short time i’ve seen astounding results. read on, dear reader…

1. i have noticed that my healthier friends don’t usually find the water immediately special after drinking it. but my less healthy friends are almost instantaneously and ostensibly helped by the water. i’ll admit that as a reasonably healthy person i felt nothing special about the water when i first drank it. but my distributor friend insisted that it was special, and my mom even told me that she’d noticed a boost in her energy when she tried it. hmmnnn… i was determined to prove kangen’s power or not! so, when i fell ill this winter, the perfect opportunity to test the healing power of the water presented itself. I’m going to attempt to maintain an ounce of my privacy and spare you the precise nature of my affliction. Let it be said though, that after a week or so of drinking kangen water, my little problem went away. when i stopped drinking the water, my little problem came back. that’s when i first realized that there was something about this water…

2. My good friend jan (smart water fan above) has a 14 year old dog who was bedridden—or more accurately–floor-ridden. sweetie wouldn’t get up, wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t drink… and it had been three days. jan was thinking about the unthinkable, if you catch my drift. I decided to bring sweetie some kangen water as a last resort. no sooner had i placed the bowl of water on the floor in front of sweetie, than she started lapping it up like she’d never seen water before. jan’s cat even tried to get in on the action and sip some up for herself, even though i made it perfectly clear that this was dog, not cat, water. well within five minutes sweetie was practically running laps around the apartment. seriously, this was a miracle, and i had seen it firsthand. sweetie then ate, and went for a walk with me outside. granted, sweetie was falling down every now and then, and running in an odd circular pattern—but for someone who was supposed to be “passing over” any minute now–she was doing awesome. jan bought a kangen machine from me the next day. She claims it makes her 72 year old hair feel like silk, and that she has more energy too. recently, i paid jan and cookie a visit. as a test, i offered cookie some tap water, which she turned her nose up at. when i offered her freshly made kangen water she drank half a bowl without taking a rest. swear. jan told me cookie she is regaining strength in her back legs, but she still has difficulty getting around. jan’s fellow seniors at the center she dines at daily, have remarked that her hair looks fabulous. (credit) they all to want to know what she is doing to make it so beautiful! jan also shared with me that she has never been able to grow her nails long as they chip and break. she now has healthy, long, hard nails! she has no desire to drink any other type of water, except her kangen—she’s completely off her smart water (sorry jennifer). one last observation is that jan started brewing her coffee with kangen. it should be noted that jan is quite the coffee connoisseur to say the least. jan’s mouth almost exploded when she tasted her kangen coffee… the flavor was beyond description. she claims she’d never tasted coffee that delicious in her life: wow. i personally have noticed that jan has much more stamina when i visit her. personally, i find the difference in her energy level astounding.

3. most recently, i met someone with Sciatica, and i just happened to have a gallon of fresh kangen water on me. i’d heard this water was particularly good for relieving this type of pain, so i offered it to her… and went about my business, returning to check in on my new friend a few hours later. when i returned she was in awe as she explained to me that the mind-numbing pain in her leg was completely gone. i had witnessed yet another kangen miracle. this person also claimed that it gave her an incredible energy boost.

4. jan’s friend jennifer had a severe urinary tract infection that needed treatment with cypro. her doctor forgot to write the script and jennifer was forced to endure another night in agony. jan ran some kangen water over to her, instructing her to drink it as if it were medicine. it was only a few hours later that jennifer called jan to say she was still in some pain, but to a much less degree. in fact, she went on to tell jan, she had actually gotten up and cleaned the house and went shopping–something she hadn’t been able to do in weeks! again, she commented not only on the immediate and lasting burst of energy, but the clarity of thought that the kangen water gave her.

5. i gave some kangen water to my mom’s friend, who has a high blood pressure problem. she drank the water for two days and got her blood pressure tested. it was lower all ready! coincidence? i don’t believe in them…

so peeps, this has been my short and collective personal experience thus far. and i can assure you i’m so not making any of this stuff up. through others, and from others, i could recount endless stories that I’ve heard along these same lines… tales involving horses, dogs and cats, tales involving humans with autism, depression, insomnia, asthma, heartburn, arthritis, krohn’s, ulcers, gastric problems, heart disease, pet and other types of allergies, kidney stones, skin conditions, gout, candidiasis, fungus, gastronomy problems, sarcoidosis, diabetes, cancer, weight problems, prostate and colon problems, auto-immune diseases, brain fog and more… they are all tales of varying success. my apologies for discussing nasty stuff on a cocktail blog, but i feel compelled to advertise the extreme medicinal nature of this water, so forgive me for being gross!

SO HOW DOES KANGEN WATER WORK?The name kangen is Japanese for “return to the origin,” which describes the fact that kangen converts our now toxic water back into its natural, pristine state. i’ve been told that the actual technology for the kangen machine was used by the Russians, long before japan capitalized on it. If this is the truth, I say THANK YOU, to the japanese for bringing this miraculous technology to the public! There are too many suppressed ideas, technologies and inventions out there. the japanese studied the healing water at the spring of lourdes, france, famous for it’s life-enhancing quality. it was found to have a high concentration of hydrogen, which means it was really alkalized! the structure of the famous water at lourdes was emulated and in 1965 kangen water was born. the inventor, Dr. Shinya is no quack. he treats the japanese royal family, at least one US president and many politicians and celebrities. he’s been professor of surgery at albert einstein college of medicine, chief of endoscopy at beth israel medical center and is the founder of the shinya medical clinic. Kangen water FINALLY arrived in the states in 1995 in california (of course), and has only been available on the east coast since 2004. available the world over, a new office is opened every three months—in a worldwide recession. so now you CAN drink the water in mexico!

The kangen machine hooks up to a regular sink and cycles the tap water across electro magnetic plates, which replace the acidity with alkalinity. This highly alkalized water only lasts for 48-72 hours. After that, it returns to regular water. While It won’t hurt you to drink stale water, it certainly won’t help either. This two-day shelf life is why kangen water cannot be sold in stores, but can only be served fresh. Recently, during my trunk show at henri bendel I had a Japanese customer. (The Japanese LOVE all things zodiac —and they especially adore intoxicated zodiac candles!) I asked my Japanese customer if she had heard of I asked if she had one in her home and she said no, whenever she wanted some she would just go to café where she could buy a glass. not only is it regularly sold in restaurants, kangen water and she said yes, of course! but every major hospital in japan prescribes kangen water to its patients. This is a medical grade machine, not to be confused with a regular water ionizer. The platinum and titanium plates are manufactured in korea. Unlike the other water ionizers on the market, it’s not made in a Chinese factory that specializes in manufacturing refridgerator parts.

ECO TRAGEDY: read my post on plastic bottle art here. not only are plastic beverage bottles made from oil, but two million of them bottles are used in the US every five minutes. it’s disgusting that most of them are never recycled. when i travel, if i can’t recycle my trash on the road i will bring it home with me. my friends call me a fanatic, but i’ve been called worse. if you are like me, an avid recycler, remember that even recycling takes an immense amount of resources! now phylates are showing up in cord blood! let me repeat that: plastic has been found in children’s blood-not to mention every subtle and unseen link of our ecosystem. obviously, recycling isn’t quite cutting it. this is just one more reason to make your own, homemade, bottled water! PS: to sterilize your bottles, simply rinse them in kangen 2.5 electrolyte water! easy peasy…

WISE INVESTMENT: the fact that most people spend more money on bottled water than on gas for their cars is reason enough to buy a kangen machine. $2 per day = $730 per year = $5110 in 7 yrs. so you see, a machine pays for itself over time… kangen is not an expense but an investment.

BELOW I CONDUCTED SOME KANGEN TESTS FOR YOUR PERUSAL AND AMAZEMENT:

DROPPING ACID: i tested the kangen using drops. for all you chemistry buffs out there, i used a bottle composed of ethanol, phenolphthalein, bromothymol, blue and methyl red:

1) KANGEN WATER turns purple with an acidity of -900. that is hyper-alkalized!
2) WELL WATER turns blue—the best you can hope for without the benefit of an enhancing device such as a kangen machine.
3) VODKA (smirnoff) tested neutral and turned green. not acidic. not alkaline. not bad—after all, it is vodka! (different brands will turn different colors—i guess it has to do with the original source of ingredients used.)
4. SODA is off the charts with an acidity of +400 and a bright orange color. ironically, many “health drinks” such as gatorade are just as bad!
5. BOTTLED WATER that is highly acidic with a color similar to the toxic soda above. (every brand differs in its acidity.)
6. MORE BOTTLED WATER that actually promotes its “anti-oxidant” qualities on the label!
7. TEQUILA tested super acidic, but again, different brands of alcohol have different levels of alkalinity and acidity.

TEA BAGGED:

the second awesome feature of kangen water is that the molecular density of the molecules is restructured in the alkalizing process, making them small enough to fit through our cell membranes. have you ever drunk a big glass of water and felt like it was just sitting there in your stomach? that’s because it was! and that’s why you might still thirst, even after several glasses of water. to demonstrate this amazing feature i placed in tea bag in a cup of ROOM TEMPERATURE water: the glass in the middle contained fresh kangen water and the others contained various bottled and tap waters. well, wouldn’t you know that the tea bag in the kangen water turned the water a pretty dark brown, and the tea bags in the other waters stayed a light shade of brown. with kangen water, you can have a cup of tea without even boiling water! the penetration of the water is so intense it can permeate a tea bag in cold water! wow. that blew me away.

LUBIN’ UP:

on the left you will clearly see a mixture of oil and tap water. as usual, it does not mix, but the oil sits on the surface of the water.
on the right i combined oil with KANGEN WATER. it immediately emulsified the oil! you will see that it looks cloudy…

DIRTY DIRTY:
kangen electrolyte water 11.5 will take the pesticide off produce. yup, you heard me right… if you can’t afford to buy organic, you can now escape the pesticide, herbicide, wax and who knows what crap they soak our food in anyway!

to test this quality, i soaked a tomato in tap water in the glass on the left. you will see that it is perfectly clear water. on the right, i soaked a tomato in kangen water and you will see that it is brownish in color. that is what the kangen water stripped away! it should also be noted that all fruits and veggies cleaned in kangen water taste better too. i guess it makes sense that pesticide does reduce the flavor of the fruit to which it’s adhered, no? incredible as it sounds, the restructured kangen molecule is reduced to 5 or 6 atoms down from 12-15. thus, it is able to really “get in there,” and you are able to enjoy relatively poison-free produce.

KANGEN ACIDIC WATER HAS A PLETHORA OF PRICELESS USES:
another feature of kangen water is the machine’s ability to produce not only alkaline water, but acidic water too. This highly acidified water (Strong Electrolyte Acid Water pH 2.6) may be used to sanitize surfaces, and can replace all the cleaning agents in your home. talk about green cleaning!

Amazing as it sounds, acid kangen water is increasingly used in wound treatment to sterilize infected areas. salmonella? gone! here is a list of organisms that are all killed within 30 seconds of contact wtih 2.6 kangen: Hepatitis B virus, Tuberculosis, AIDS virus, Staphylococcus, Salmonella, Typhoid fever, Candida albicans, Pneumonia, Bread mold, Bathtub mold, Red yeast, Red color on plumbing fixture, Athletes foot, E. coli. for a complete and more specific list click here. after 72 hours, kangen water returns to its previous state. It is not harmful to the environment, or any living thing. dentists have started using this water for routine cleanings. and amazingly, this water smells just like bleach!

if you have a rash of any sort apply kangen water 11.5 to the affected area you will see results within one month and likely shorter. no more need to buy creams and medications! feel like you’re coming down with something? rinse your mouth out not with salt water, but with kangen electrolyte 11.5 water. this machine has a substantial variety of uses beyond drinking water.

in fact, I’m certain that one day someone will publish a book titled, 101 uses for kangen water. But for now, word of mouth has given me several ideas. Personally, I think a kangen water martini is in order!

ALTERNATIVE USES FOR KANGEN WATER: (besides those listed above)
thermal conduction: kangen’s quick transfer of heat saves time and energy
great for outing yellow toilets stains with 11.5 and then 2.5
ice made with kangen makes cocktails tastier and healthier 9.5
food cooked with kangen 9.5 has more flavor
cut flowers last longer in kangen 95.
houseplants thrive when watered with kangen 9.5
pets love kangen 9.5, it’s as good for them as it is for us
degrease with kangen 11.5
remove mildew with kangen 2.5
wash clothes to clean more thoroughly and whites whiter with kangen 11.5
teeth, when brushed with kangen 2.5, become whiter
add kangen 11.5 to bath water
use kangen 5.5 (beauty water) as an aftershave
when making pasta and tempura substitute kangen 5.5 (beauty water) for oil
enhance athletic performance with kangen 9.5

BEAUTY WATER: here i am, getting my beauty on. mist with electrolyte 5.5, an astringent. because of the water’s exceptionally penetrative nature, it is especially hydrating for the skin.

FOR MORE INFO ON KANGEN WATER VISIT THESE SITES:

if you feel like making the schlep to orange county choppers, there is a weekly kangen water meeting held in the hampton inn opposite it. every wednesday night at 7pm, come and have your mind blown by this breath taking demonstration.

kangen4pets.com (effects on pets & other animals)

https://sites.google.com/site/switchtokangen/ (medicinal effects on everything from brain disorders to allergies.)

kangenwatergreen.com (environmental benefits)

http://kangenworldteam.wordpress.com/ (personal testimonials)

www.kangenwaterreport.com (disinfectant test results)

phwaterforhealth.com (creative ways to use kangen)

articlesbase.com (kangen beauty water)

http://enzymefactor.com/ (kangen inventor, dr. hiromi shinya’s newest invention)

mywholywater.com (watch video)

sharethiswater.com (free ebook)

waterforyourhealth.com (free DVD)

mywholywater.info (my distribution group site)

enagic.com (corporate site)

PHONE CONFERENCE:
why are americans listed 38th out of 40 countries for health and longevity? (we’re below cuba). japan is #1 on the list! dr. dave carpenter explains why…
when: thursdays 9pm est
phone: 512.879.2059
pin: 388905#

whymolecules.com (dr. dave carpenter also advocates asea)

if you’d like to buy a kangen machine, i sell them too! drop me a line at gwen@intoxicatedzodiac.com to arrange purchase…

(DON’T SUE ME ; ) these statements and claims have not been evaluated by the fda. this product is not intended to treat, cure, prevent or diagnose anything. follow up care with your health care provider is recommended.)

La Palapa just released its very own cookbook! owners Barbara Sibley & Margaritte Malfy co-authored ANTOJITOSBY, FESTIVE AND FLAVORFUL MEXICAN
SMALL PLATES, which includes several of la palapa’s best recipes. such as their ridiculously delicious MANGO MEZCAL PALOMA.

i once reviewed the astrology of La Palapa in my post here. because it opened in august, the west village LA PALAPA a is a Leo!

Barbara & Margaritte are celebrating their publication by serving complimentary antojitos and margaritas tuesday, november 10th, 5 to 7 pm:
LA PALAPA EAST VILLAGE
77 Saint Marks’s Place • RSVP 212.777.2537
(SIGNED COPIES OF THE COOKBOOK WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE $22.99)

¿Cómo se dice “appetizers”? Antojitos, of course! The north-of-the-border love affair with Mexican food heats up with this luscious collection of 75 authentic Mexican small plates, invigorating salsas, and refreshing drinks from two of Greenwich Village’s favorite restaurateurs. Barbara Sibley and Margaritte Malfy are chef/owners of the fabulously popular La Palapa restaurants in New York City, where they deliver addictively authentic Mexican fare-food for people who love fresh, soulful cooking.

Traditional and artisanal, the recipes in Antojitos were collected from Barbara and Margaritte’s many years of traveling and living in Mexico.
No one does antojitos like Barbara and Margaritte. A stylish design filled with colorful Mexican folk art and food photographs round out this spicy treat of a book.

Just in time for christmas—perfect for the latin Lovers on your list….!

well you’re in luck thanks to MAGIC HAT BREWING COMPANY unseen until now, at least by me, this secretive brewery was shrouded in darkness. i knew not of its existence until recently when i tasted their #9 ALE. it was all it should have been with a numerological value of number nine: friendly, happy, substantial, round, sweet, good. but better than my description is the one on the website: “A beer cloaked in secrecy. An ale whose mysterious and unusual palate will swirl across your tongue and ask more questions than it answers.” the peeps at MAGIC HAT BREWING have a way with words!

HOWL is the name of their BLACK WINTER LAGER, which is a bit too strong and bitter for my taste. die hard beer fans of the male persuasion will love it. so named HOWL because in the dead of winter only the howling of wind can be heard. unless you live in colorado, in which case the howls of wolves will drown out that of the wind. this winter is predicted by the farmer’s almanac to be one of the coldest ever in new york. the farmer’s almanac has a 70% rate of accuracy. better stock up on some HOWL now because i have a feeling none of us are going to enjoy running out to get some in the dead of this winter.

what other tricks does MAGIC HAT BREWING have up its sleeve? they have a magical FEAST OF FOOLS VARIETY 12-pack, just in the nick of time for thanksgiving and christmas. it contains the above mentioned selections and also a LUCKY KAT and WINTER ODD NOTION 09. they recco “creative holiday cookery and enlightend seasonal eating” by pairing their brews with culinary beer recipes. find the recipes online at MAGIC HAT.NET and bon appetit.

today a very famous LEO signed her latest cook book for me… martha stewart has always been one of my favorite american icons. perhaps it’s because we both have a scorpio ascendant in our charts — i’ve blogged her DIY projects several times on this site. i just love her magazine, her product lines, her love for pets, her animal rights activist daughter, and most recently, her fondness for astrological libations. yes you heard me correctly… the june and november issues of martha’s LIVING magazine feature a cocktail recipe for both gemini and scorpio! i’ve been going on about astro tipples for years now, and there’s always room for another perspective on an infinitely interesting subject. hey, who doesn’t love to drink with the stars? welcome to the party martha!

MARTHA STEWART’S DINNER AT HOME is brand spanking new, and today was martha’s very first signing to promote the book. she dedicates the book “to all the homemakers in america, pressed for time yet caring for their families.” my favorite feature of the book is the way it’s divided according to the four seasons, spring, summer, fall and winter, which makes eating seasonally just that little bit easier. martha then creates 13 four course menus for each season, making sure to include carnivore, vegetarian and vegan meals among them. along the way, she highlights certain foods such as rhubarb — pointing out that this vegetable is not a fruit! vanilla stewed rhubarb, mint pesto, rosemary yorkshire puddings, minty green tea milkshakes, coffee with cognac and cardamom and tequila-soaked lemon sorbet are just a few mouth-watering recipes to be found in this handy collection. ($35)

the following was written by guest blogger Beth–thanks beth!

When you dig deep enough you find all sorts of astrological correspondences associated with different mystic schools of thoughts. From the twelve paths in the Jewish Kabbalah to tarot cards associated with each of the signs, astrology is everywhere. Practicing my own form of mysticism I’d like to propose just one more, that of the mystic art of Jell-O Shots. Now before you laugh, this system is a very carefully thought out, taking all of ten minutes, like most good pop spiritualism. It is based on the Jell-O system of colors and flavors and the propensity of each astrological sign to enjoy them.

There is a wealth of information on the Internet on how to create Jell-o shots, from actual recipes to recommendations to containers, so I won’t bore you with the details here. Seeing that there is only one good way to down a Jell-O shot, straight up, with a sharp intake of breath, it is also appropriate to do so in a meditative state, full of the awareness of the stuff of life, while reciting your particular mantra for the experience. So mix up your iconic flavor and follow me to the path of true enlightenment, or at least a good time, now that you have the appropriate guide.

Aries–Full of fire and energy, your color is red, your flavor strawberry, reminding you of the innocence of your youth and that awful strawberry wine you used to down while trying to woo the women or when the men tried to woo you. Meditation: Slow down and pay attention and you may reduce the number of accidents you experience. You just may lower of your insurance bill as well.


Taurus-For sensual Taurus, there just isn’t the right Jell-O flavor as unfortunately there is no chocolate jell, only Jell-O pudding, which does poorly as a Jell-O shot. However, with a little extra patience, with which you abound, and creativity, you can mix up clear gelatin and amaretto for a perfectly delightful Jell-O shot experience. Meditation: Why do the best things in life come with such a high price tag and when is there a sale?


Gemini–For the twins there are two options, lemon or lime, these corresponding to the two most prolific colors in your personal color pallet. Yes, Gemini, your wardrobe is just as talkative as you are, to the everlasting amusement of the people you know. Case in point, Hillary Clinton has Uranus in Gemini sitting on her Ascendant. She has this absolutely hideous yellow suit she insists on wearing. Some people just shouldn’t dress themselves and this might include you. That hardly matters to you as you are just in it for the good time anyway, Gemini. Meditation: Why do people think I talk too much? And why won’t they tell me about it?


Cancer–No one deserves a delicious taste treat more, and just about no one enjoys it better than you, if you can calm that nervous stomach, that is. You take care of everyone and then wonder why no one takes care of you, leading you to speculate if anyone really loves you. Relax, Cancer. While it may not help you find true love, a Pina Colada Jell-O shot will lead you in the right direction. Meditation: Can I buy those antique lamps without my spouse finding out?


Leo-the color that represents you, your majesty, is the color of sun and the color of true money, gold. And since you are a friendly sort, welcoming all kinds of people into your sphere to serve you, pineapple is the Jell-O flavor that best represents your sun shiny personality. Meditation: What can I do to get more attention? I deserve it, don’t I?


Virgo–Classic astrologers associate the color white with Virgo, seeing you are so pure and all. (Yeah, right!). And believe it or not, Jell-O has accommodated you with a special flavor, Margarita, which contains all the sweet goodness of the original. In the true spirit of Virgo, the saltiness is concealed within a pleasing picture of refinement and good taste. Just make sure you don’t down too many of these or your stomach will scold you like you scold the kids. Meditation: Why does my spouse say that I’m too critical? I’ll give ‘em a piece of my mind for that one.


Libra–Reference works are just as indecisive as you are, dear Libra, when it comes to ascribing a color to you. One site said, “Any color that is pleasing to the eye.” This only reflects your propensity for taking everyone’s sides in arguments, since you seek harmony above all things. After much consideration and experimentation, this astrologer ascribes the Jell-O flavor “mixed fruit” to your sign, as it seeks, just as you do, to achieve harmonious blending of diverse flavors. Meditation: Why do people want me to make decisions?


Scorpio–Simmering with life’s forbidden passions, you are symbolized by both the color black and red. This is why the flavor black cherry is tailor made for you. No stranger to the world of alternate experiences, Scorpio, you find this flavor association perhaps reminiscent of childhood cold remedies, but hey, you enjoyed those too. Meditation: How can I convince the cutie in the corner to come home with me?


Sagittarius–Your traditional color is purple, leading us to the ubiquitous grape Jell-O shot. But you are fire sign as well, as if you are not so copasetic with imbibing things reminiscent of childhood cold remedies, like our Scorpio friends. Give perky peach a try. Meditation: What excuse can I give the boss today?


Capricorn–Taciturn Saturn ruled people are not left out in the cold by our friends at Jell-O. The flavor cranberry was created just for you, with that sharp sweet tartness we’ve come to know from you. Whether you are hobnobbing with the gentry or slumming with the Jones, this taste treat will make people think twice about you. Meditation: What dirt can I dig up on the boss so I can win that promotion?


Aquarius–I don’t know why people keep calling you quirky. After all, Aquarius, you are a true pioneer, marching to the beat of your own drummer, showing the rest of us where the fun is to be had. While the world catches up with you, catch a berry blue Jell-O shot that will help you resonate to the forces of the Universe. Meditation: Why do people call me weird and why don’t I care?


Pisces–Lovely, ephemeral Pisces deserves something as effervescent as you are. For you, dear Pisces, I recommend the flavor apricot, which is just as unusual, just as refined and just a difficult to find as you are. Meditation: Why is the boss looking for me?


Beth is a professional astrologer with over twenty years experience counseling clients in career and relationship issues. Following in the footsteps of mediocre writers who start their own religions, Beth has decided to promote spiritual enlightenment through jell shots tied to astrological associations. She promises though that there is no need to find “clear” or that mysterious forces other than natural spirits will not take over your body. However, since Beth also promotes moderation in all things, to the vexation of her family, the use of Jell-O shots for enlightenment does not give her followers carte blanche to get blotto in the name of spiritual attainment. You can reach her at starrynightastro@aol.com for further guidance. Beth can be found at astrologymediapress.com/astrologyexplored.

what to wash all those zodiac cocktails down with? how bout some zodiac cuisine! this site is delectable, informative, entertaining and f’ing cool—check out AUNTIE MOON and her collection of astrological gastrological recipes… bon appetit!

the lovely luna raven had me as a guest on her tres cool radio show recently. listen to the juicy interview here.

my friend joseph tells me i sound like i’ve been hit over the head with a hammer whenever i answer the phone. i have to admit, he’s onto something. when you listen to this interview, you’ll see what i’m talking about in the first 15 seconds. however, i promise my performance improves, so do stay tuned for the whole thing. luna and i kvetch about bartending, barcheffing, astrology, environmentalism and all things intoxicated zodiac…

catch LUNA’S KITCHEN MAGIC every Sat & Sun @ 4 pm pst, 7 pm est on the ADULTS ONLY RADIO DENTATA.

radio dentata operates like a traditional broadcasting station, but on the web. and it’s great to have something so uncommercial, real-time, genuine and unscripted to listen to. thanks for having me on luna! don’t forget to check out luna’s blog too: LUNA’S KITCHEN MAGIC.

in this world of genetically modified high fructose corn syrup sweetener, natural beverages have become an anomaly. recently, i was sent two of these gems to sample, and i found them both worthy of mention.

the first is HINT WATER, which is so much more palatable than regular water, but devoid of the sugars found in most flavored waters. i was a VITAMIN WATER addict until recently when THE unusually uniformed GWEN was actually told she was ingesting chemicals and sweeteners. boy i really dropped the health ball on that one. but i’m back… count me in for HINT WATER, a welcome alternative to just water and flavored waters. why not mix it in your favorite cocktail… after all, MR LIBRA likes it.

the second is POM WONDERFUL POMEGRANATE JUICE, which at this point has become a classic in the juice world. it was POM WONDERFUL that started the trend to popularize the pomegranate years ago, so thank them. check out the website for tons of really good cocktail, mocktail and culinary recipes. my personal favorite is virgo’s PURPLE HAZE. on a personal note, POM WONDERFUL signed a memoratorium on animal testing a while back, so TRIPLE KUDOS to them. how many other companies conduct needless tests on animals unbeknownst to you an I? be confident that POM WONDERFUL is not among them… drink in moral confidence and drink to your health, cheers!

as if the the economic stimulus plan, Foreclosure Aid Package, Wall Street and government auto bail outs weren’t enough of a smack in the face, take the somber fact that thousands of american retail stores are predicted to go bankrupt this year alone.

all of a sudden, those four little words, MADE IN THE USA, have an updated, and inspiring, meaning. products manufactured in the states are slowly starting to enjoy a new genre of patriotic consumers. lest you remain unconvinced, let’s do the math… if we support american brands of our own volition, then government won’t have to force us to to support them with our taxes.

and one certainly can’t get more american than JIM BEAM. as american as apple pie, this bourbon whisky was founded way back in 1795. JIM BEAM even made it through prohibition to be listed today as #14 on the world’s top 100 spirit list. every piece of this product is born and raised in the good ‘ole US of A—in america’s heartland kentucky to be exact. and in case you should wonder, yes mr. JIM does taste as good as he sounds. cheers to a new america!

here’s a lil’ recipe to get y’all started…

Bourbon-Glazed Nut Snacks

¼ cup Jim Beam
¼ cup pure maple syrup
3 tbsp. unsalted butter
1 lb. salted mixed nuts

Instructions: Pre-heat oven to 250 degrees. Combine Jim Beam, syrup and butter in saucepan. Bring to a boil over high heat, stirring constantly. After mixture reaches boiling point, reduce heat to medium and stir 1 minute. Remove from heat. Stir in nuts, tossing to coat evenly. Spread nuts in a single layer on a foil-lined baking sheet. Drizzle with remaining glaze. Bake 1 hour and 15 minutes, stirring every 20 minutes. Immediately remove nuts to wax paper, separating them to prevent sticking together. Cool completely. Store in an airtight container for up to 2 weeks. Makes 2-1/2 cups.

can we get a better cause than this? for a mere $10 (tax deductible) you can help support the florida-based guide dog school, SOUTHEASTERN GUIDE DOGS. this is a win win win win situation… help dogs, help people, help your tax return, and help your taste buds with some interesting new recipes i doubt you ever heard of… for instance, GRAND MARNIER CRANBERRY MUFFINS, BOURBON-BUTTERSCOTCH BAKED APPLES, BAPTIST CHAMPAGNE and DRUNKEN WIENERS. so, without further ado, go to THE PUPPY PLACE for more info, or visit THE PUPPY PLACE BLOG and support this wonderful organization today.

BOOK DEDICATION:
This cookbook is dedicated to the many people who are committed in helping teach the blind to function in daily life through the various Guide Dog and Seeing Eye Dog programs across the country. As volunteers for The Puppy Place we understand the importance of raising funds that is needed by these schools in order to provide the utmost guidance and training that each student receives.

Guide dogs not only provide the gift of increased independence, confidence, and mobility, but they also act as a trusted companion providing new opportunities for social interaction. Thank you for helping to make a difference in the life of a blind individual in the form of a loving, guide dog partner today.