as promised, i’m putting all the recipes from our holiday event (intoxicated zodiac, susan miller & todd english) online. so now all you zodiac junkies can drink your very own sign for some extra christmas cheer this year!

The work of Nicholas Culpeper, the father of western herbalism, serves as a guide when i create astrology-themed drinks. Culpeper’s books are still in print, 300 years after he wrote detailed descriptions of which plants belong to which signs and how to use them medicinally. In Medieval Herbal Astrology, plants have Zodiac signs, just like people. In the Medieval times only seven planets had been discovered as opposed to nine today. Therefore, since these drinks are based on Medieval Herbal Astrology, the ancient ruling planet for each sign is referenced.

“under the stars” is a NOISE 784 production. sponsored by TYKU, perrier and jim beam, the recipes call for these fine products. cheers!

Aries’ Cocktail features CRANBERRY as its star ingredient! Aries is ruled by Mars: The scarlet, fiery, hot planet. Flavors that are very spicy or very tart are often ruled by Mars. The cranberry’s bright crimson color, underscored by its tangy flavor certainly betrays its allegiance to the red planet, and is hence an Aries.

ARIES XMAS TIPPLE:
2 oz sochu, 2 oz cranberry syrup, 1/2 oz fresh lemon juice, perrier
(shake over ice and strain pour into an ice packed collins glass. Top with Perrier. Garnish with a floating fresh cranberry)

CRANBERRY SPICE SYRUP:
2 c white sugar, 3 c water, 1 c fresh cranberries, peel of half a small orange
(simmer for 20-30 minutes and strain)

Taurus’ Cocktail features PEPPERMINT as its star ingredient! If its divinely fragrant and tantalizingly tasty, you can bet its ruled by Venus. This beautiful planet rules all fruit, herbs and flowers that are particularly fragrant. Hence, mint falls under the dominion of Venus and may be identified as a Taurus.

TAURUS XMAS TIPPLE:
2 oz sochu, 1 oz peppermint syrup, 1 oz lemon juice
(served up with a mini candy cane garnish)

PEPPERMINT MINT SYRUP:
3 c white sugar, 2 c water, 1 tsp peppermint extract
(heat until dissolved)

Gemini’s Cocktail features HAZELNUT as its star ingredient! Culpeper lists the hazelnut under Mercury. The tree’s delicate leaves & flowers are indicative of this planet’s fleeting & wispy qualities. After all, Mercury is the fastest orbiting planet in our solar system. hazelnut is a Gemini.

GEMINI XMAS TIPPLE:
2 oz sochu, 1 oz hazelnut cocoa syrup, 1 oz creamer
(served up with a few pcs of floating chopped hazelnut garnish)

HAZELNUT COCOA SYRUP:
1 c “NUTELLA” spread,2 c water
(heat lightly and whisk until blended)

Cancer’s Cocktail features EGG as its star ingredient! The egg is ruled by the Moon, as is Cancer. They share the traits of a hard outer shell and a soft, pale, fleshy inside. Cancer is known for its innate creativity, along with a desire to “nest.” What symbolizes those two qualities more than the egg?

CANCER XMAS TIPPLE:
2 oz whiskey, 1 oz ‘nog anise syrup, 1 oz creamer
(served up with a floating star anise)

‘NOG ANISE SYRUP:
1 c brown sugar, 1 ½ c water, 2 cinnamon sticks, 5 star anise, 4 tsp chopped, fresh ginger, 3 tsp vanilla extract, 10 cardamom pods
(toast spices over medium low in pan first. then simmer for 20-30 minutes and strain)

Leo’s Cocktail features CLEMENTINE as its star ingredient! The bright, round, orange-colored, life-giving star of our solar system, the Sun, rules over Leo. Because the clementine bears a heavy physical resemblance to the sun, it is given ruler ship under it. The clementine is a Leo.

LEO XMAS TIPPLE:
2 oz sochu, 1 oz clementine rosemary syrup, 1 1/2 oz lemon juice
(served over ice topped with Perrier. Garnish with a slice of clementine)

CLEMENTINE ROSEMARY SYRUP:
2 chopped clementines, ¼ c chopped fresh rosemary, 2 c white sugar, 2 c water
(simmer for 20-30 minutes and strain)

Virgo’s Cocktail features POMEGRANATE as its star ingredient! The pomegranate is ruled by Mercury due to its astringent qualities. Mercury is the fleet-footed planet and therefore holds ownership over anything that is fast-binding and drying in nature. That is why the pomegranate is a Virgo.

VIRGO XMAS TIPPLE:
1 oz sochu, 1 oz tyku liqueur, 1 1/2 oz pomegranate grenadine, 1/2 oz lemon juice
(serve up and garnish with 3 floating pomegranate seeds)

POMEGRANATE GRENADINE:
Equal parts 100% pomegranate juice and water
(simmer for 20-30 minutes)

Libra’s Cocktail features SUGAR PLUM as its star ingredient! Libra is ruled by the Venus, the beautiful planet. Venus holds dominion over things that are sugary sweet, succulent, attractive and delectable in nature. A perfectly ripe, juicy plum would certainly fall under ruler ship of Venus, and may be called a Libra.

LIBRA XMAS TIPPLE:
1 oz sochu, 1 oz tyku liqueur, 1 oz plum syrup, 1 oz lemon juice
(serve up and garnish with a sugar rim)

SUGAR PLUM SYRUP:
2 c white sugar, 3 c water, 2-3 chopped fresh plums
(simmer for 20-30 minutes and strain)

Scorpio’s Cocktail features CLOVE as its star ingredient! The incredibly pungent and powerful clove is ruled by none other than what many refer to as the planet of war, Mars. Really, it is the planet of passion and the strength to defend and protect. In fact, clove is so strong it can be used to defeat Cancer. Today, Scorpio is considered co-ruled by Mars and Pluto.

SCORPIO XMAS TIPPLE:
1 oz sochu, 1 oz sake, 1 oz lemon juice, 1 oz clove chili syrup, perrier
(served over ice, topped with perrier, garnished with a floating clove and straw)

CLOVE CHILI SYRUP:
1 c white sugar, 3 c water, 2-3 pinches cloves, 1 small handful or approx 20 dried chili arbols
(toast chilis and clove over medium low in pan first. simmer for 15-20 minutes and strain)

Sagittarius’ Cocktail features FIG as its star ingredient The vast number of seeds in a fig makes it a fruit ruled by Jupiter, the largest planet in our solar system. This huge planet is the owner of all things Ubiquitous, prolific, abundant and colossal in nature. This is why the fig is listed as a Sagittarius.

SAGITTARIUS XMAS TIPPLE:
2 oz whiskey, 1 ¼ oz fig syrup, ¾ oz fresh lemon juice
(shake over ice and strain into glass. Garnish with a dried fig slice)

FIG SYRUP:
1 c fresh chopped figs, 1 c white sugar, 2 c water
(simmer for 20-30 minutes and strain)

Capricorn’s Cocktail features MOLASSES as its star ingredient! Discarded as a by-product, molasses is the almost black, densely thick, mildly bittersweet syrup that is born from the dregs of the sugar cane plant. Saturn symbolizes frugality, austerity and scarcity. Molasses is ruled by Saturn due to the nature of its genesis.

CAPRICORN XMAS TIPPLE:
2 oz whiskey, 1 oz gingerbread syrup, 1 oz creamer
(served up with a slice of candied ginger garnish)

GINGERBREAD SYRUP: 2 c brown sugar, 2 c water, 1 c molasses, 5 tbsp chopped fresh ginger
(simmer for 20-30 minutes and strain)

Aquarius’ Cocktail features CEDAR as its star ingredient! Saturn is the slowest moving planet, symbolizing longevity and resilience. Plants ruled by this constant planet are extremely hardy in nature–take for example the famously pest and weather-resistant cedar tree. Today Aquarius is considered co-ruled by Saturn and Uranus. That’s why cedar is an Aquarius.

AQUARIUS XMAS TIPPLE:
1 oz sochu, 1 oz sake, 3/4 oz lemon juice, 1 oz cedar syrup
(served up with a sugar rim)

CEDAR TIP SYRUP:
2 c white sugar, 2 c water, 1 c dried cedar tip needles
(toast cedar over medium low in pan first. simmer for 20-30 minutes and strain)

Pisces’ Cocktail features CHESTNUT as its star ingredient! The chestnut tree’s diameter can be as great as 17 feet, which epitomizes the grandiose qualities of the largest planet in our solar system, Jupiter. Today, Pisces is considered co-ruled by Jupiter and the more recently discovered Neptune. The chestnut is a Pisces and sheer size alone is what determines that.

PISCES XMAS TIPPLE:
2 oz whiskey, 1 oz chestnut syrup, 1 oz creamer
(served up a chestnut slice garnish)

CHESTNUT SYRUP:
2 c white sugar, 2 c water, 1 c chopped and peeled roasted chestnuts
(simmer for 20-30 minutes and strain)

ROAST CHESTNUT GARNISH:
Slice each nut prior to baking with a knife, but try not to penetrate flesh. Then it will be easier to slice them for garniature.

stevia, the herb that escaped the FDA black list, unlike that other powerful green leafy, marijuana. the powers that be have to decided to gift us the sweetness of stevia. thank you dark forces. in this dawning era of full disclosure and transparency, it’s being welcomed by america with open mouths. this plant is an ancient herb… why have we not been privy to its bounty before??? because it’s not a moneymaker for anyone other than the stevia grower and producer!!! in other words, its consumption won’t lead to obesity, which will lead to disease, which will lead to pharmaceuticals, which will lead to your wallet being drained on a constant basis. there are no nasty side effects with this magical herb. it is even safe for diabetics. the one small problem is that there is a subtle aftertaste. but one gets used to it very quickly, especially when one realizes there are no calories, no fat, no nothing, but flavor. i now carry around a bag of stevia in my purse, so that i can whip it out at starbucks and the like. i did that the other day and the clerk laughed, admitting her dad does the same thing… i couldn’t believe it. another freak.. i’m not the only one? wow, cool.

i grew some stevia in my garden this year and low and behold, the raw leaves really do taste like sugar. it’s crazy! i made a cocktail, of course, muddling the leaves. it actually wasn’t sweet enough, so i had to add some granulated stevia into the shaker before the drink became palpable. as with all herbs, when the leaves are dried the intensity of the flavor is magnified. stevia is available in almost any grocery store at this time. i dug my stevia up and brought him inside of the winter. he’s so cool… i can’t bear to see him die off in the next heavy frost. but, in this icy part of the world, stevia is considered an annual. if you prefer to shop for stevia rather than grow it… no prob! only a few months ago it was hard to find. we are loving stevia. health food stores will have more options besides the powder form… stevia pills, stevia serum… it’s all good–i’ve tasted every shape and form. whatever you do, don’t fall for the latest trick which is to rename the bad, lab-made sugars with cute, natural names like “IDEAL”—and color the package green with a leaf or something along those lines. always read the labels because there should be one ingredient listed and that is STEVIA (all though, on some brands dextrose is also listed as an ingredient).

STEVIA SOUR:
1 1/2 oz choice of spirit (i love gin)
3 sprigs fresh stevia
3/4 oz lemon juice
stevia powder or serum
***muddle and adjust with stevia powder to taste. shake over ice and enjoy that way too. garnish with a sprig of stevia.

this is the most beautiful photograph i have ever taken. and the drink might just be the most beautiful drink i’ve ever created. how fitting, then, that this divinity in a glass, is ruled by the sign of the beautiful people: libra. in fact, it was a libra that inspired the title of this drink–specifically my libra sister fleur and her unique french name. fleur means flower in french, the language of love. hence i called this exquisite libation a fleurtini instead of the more well known, flirtini. and this one’s a whole lot better than that other one, too! libras don’t typically like to have ripples in their ocean of calm. or wrinkles on their serene face. or brash vulgarity in their pleasant interactions. they’re not into drama. and while i’m really not a high maintenance drama queen, really i’m not, some might say the complexity of my life is just too much for some others to entertain. and those others may sometimes of the libra persusion. and since i started my own business, a conversation that lasts more than 12 minutes between my sister and i is a long one. the stress kind of oozes out of me, and on to libra, and that is a big no-no! sis gave me a “how to meditate in 10 minutes book” for my last birthday, in the hopes that i might create a little libran harmony in my life. but it’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks, and while i’ve become much better under pressure, i’m still the high strung quadruple scorpio that i always was, which makes for a total libra buzzkill. of course there are exceptions to every rule, and along with that a few libras that do thrive on stress. but i’ve found they don’t actually manage it well. for libra is the sign of balance, harmony, peace, beauty, charm, refinement, love, fairness, justice and pure harmony. discordancy goes against every libran fiber of their body. so, don’t dare throw a monkey wrench into libra’s wonderful bubble. for that would be an injustice and a crime against astrology itself.

FLEURTINI
2 oz elder flower liqueur
2 oz coconut milk
.5 oz rose water

Shake over ice, strain into glass. Garnish with edible flower.

the luckiest among us have enjoyed both the pleasure of an experienced older lover, and the perishable gifts of a younger one too. and what better captures the essence of a nubile body’s offerings, than the symbolic-laden cherry?

should you take a young lover, i’d advise pairing (and plying) him or her with satin sheets, chocolate, alcohol, feathers, rope—and a full day in which to enjoy them all. should you take a lover beyond your years, relish and remember the priceless lessons bestowed upon you. in such an age-disparate affair, i can’t help but wonder which lover would be more fortunate to have found the other: the older and more experienced lover… or the young, eager lover? perhaps each partner’s luck would be equal…

all though coconut falls under the thumb of cancer, chocolate and cherry are ruled by none other than the goddess of love: venus. bottoms up and bottoms off… cheers to those libra lovers everywhere—good lovers do they make.

ps, how cool is this glass? i found it at a yard sale last week along with some concrete skulls and an old glass dome.

YOUNG LOVER:
2 1/2 oz kijafa (danish chocolate cherry flavored wine)
2 oz coconut milk (surprisingly, this tastes nothing like coconut)
1 oz chocolate syrup***

shake over ice and strain into chilled glass. garnish with a fresh cherry.

***do not use hersheys. use organic syrup or you will be ingesting GMO corn syrup, which causes sterility-inducing tumors. tough choice huh… tumors or organic.

this month, i wrote about the birthday sign au courant for my zodiac cocktail column published in MOD magazine… as you might have guessed, it’s all about LIBRA… but isn’t it always though?

chocolate. i was just told by my new age psychic medical docter dude that i’m allergic to it. well, only sex is better than chocolate, and only by a small margin. so sorry doctor, i cannot and will not give up my chocolate! apparently, pure dark chocolate has a high acidity content, and fyi, acid is bad for our systems. don’t even go down the milk chocolate road… that’s just wrong all the way round. devil’s tool wrong… but so like, here i am, knowing that i shouldn’t be touching chocolate with a ten foot pole and yet there i go rubbing myself all in it. hello? self control? you there? will power? out to lunch—binging on chocolate. and so it goes with me, chocolate, and libra. those troublesome libra men—so hot, so wrong. when oh when will i stay away? i’m trying to refrain from both these days—and libra’s LUJURIA is helping me out with some simulated intimacy. a double shot of godiva chocolate liqueur in a dark beer does wonders for the palette and the libido. BTW, the tempting cocoa bean is ruled by venus and is thus a tempting libra. as if you couldn’t have guessed. this beer concoction goes down real smooth, just like libra men.

LUJURIA
one bottle dark beer
double shot godiva chocolate liqueur

stemming back to my child hood days as a competitive gymnast, i still have the propensity to do cartwheels over a big, inviting, open surface when i see one. freshly mowed lawns are my all-time favorite surface to flip on, but a nice big, well-vacuumed carpet comes in a close second. such was the case with mr. libra III’s oriental rug. like the man himself, his carpet was irresistible… invitingly clean, no offensive odors, impeccably coordinated, constructed by the nimblest of fingers, top notch stuff. and like when we first met, the word no was suddenly absent from my vocabulary. it was a second date and i hardly knew him, but i knew it was too soon to be turning tricks on his rug. still, those fibers called and over i came. before i knew what was happening, nadia comănec’s athletic spirit possessed me for a spell… my body erected itself into a perfect handstand… and continued on to a perfectly executed pirouette… and finished with an impressive mid-air straddle. it was here that my shirt fell above my stomach, exposing a flash of flesh that had the same effect on mr. libra III that his rug had on me. almost against his will, over he came, cocktail in hand, not a splash made, eager to taste the flash of belly flesh. that was a very good day indeed, mr. libra III.

BELLY FLASH:

1 oz irish whiskey
1 oz flavoured water
ice

mr. libra III drinks his poison with tap water, but i recommend adding fruit-infused H2O to make the BELLY FLASH that much more palatable. girls beware: both of libra III’s and this ain’t no girly drink, take heed!

leave it to libra to invent a cocktail as smooth, tasty and richly colored as this. ahh, to be one of the beautiful people… well, if you didn’t win the biological looks lottery you can still have one of the beautiful one’s cocktails. yes, i’m referring to libra, the zodiacal siren. one sip of this libational masterpiece will make you feel like you’re on a yacht. venus’ overwhelmingly fragrant rose mixes with mar’s overpowering pungent basil just enough to perfectly accent venus’ delectable raspberry… why the knife you ask? because to a capricorn like myself, libra’s a deadly weapon. note to self: no more affairs with libra men.

1 oz fresh lemon juice
2 dashes rose water (health food/gourmet)
2 dozen red raspberries
3 leaves basil
2 oz simple syrup
1 1/2 vodka

rick from KAISER PENGUIN (no we’re not related) is hosting MXMO this month with the insane theme of LIMIT ONE. as in, too high an alcohol content in a tipple, necessitates the consumption of no more than one of those tipples. i’m a lightweight, so this topic is way out of my bar cheffing realm.

i’m always amazed at how someone can derive pleasure from imbibing a manhattan. in my eyes that is akin to sipping gasoline. i wish i could be that cool under fire to nonchalently order a manhattan… the fire i speak of is the one running all the way down your chest after you take a sip. i’m not cool! in an attempt to make this high octane classic more palitable, i used cherry-infused whiskey, compliments of sweet venus’ delectable cherry. sugary venus also rules the easy-going sign that is symbolized by a scale… dear libra, take it easy with this deadly drink!

(as this is a variation on the true MANHATTAN, this is called the MANHATTANITE.)

MANHATTANITE

2 oz cherry whisky (PHILIPS UNION CHERRY WHISKEY) or infuse your own*
1 oz sweet vermouth
few drops orange bitters
cherry or two (never use store bought maraschino, those are unhealthy!!! make your own, or use sour cherries like moi)

add all ingredients to shaker with ice. stir, do not shake! strain into martini glass.

* cut 30 sweet cheeries in half and place in 750 ml bottle whiskey for a few weeks. store in cool, dark place. agitate to expediate process. strain out cherries to store.

if you’re looking for green this weekend, don’t forget the mojito! cuban irish? why not! this green-hued libation is pure heaven, like most of venus’ progeny. for she bears all things sweet, succulent and savory. that would be mint and pears. delic…

i’ve recently been chastised by my libran friend for harping on the scale’s cliche indecisiveness. in my defense, i pointed to the fact that my dialogue concerns strictly sun signs, and that is a very general topic! so libras everywhere, hear this: if i offended you with my triteness, please accept my apologies. my friend went on to explain that he always orders the same drink every single time he steps foot in a pub. there is apparently not an ounce of hesitation behind any of his beverage decisions. i was really taken to task here! so i say to dave, and any libras like him, you must have an earth rising sign (like say capricorn, virgo, or taurus) to be so fixed in your bar menu…

dear zodiacal intoxicants, remember, you’re sun sign is a generalization of the real you. most of it’s correct, but sometimes it’s not. and that’s due to other planets in your chart that are influencing your personality. get a free birth chart here, or get one professionally done here.

CUBALAND (PEAR MOJITO)

- 1 1/2 parts white rum
- 1 part fresh squeezed lime juice
- 2 parts freshly extracted pear nectar
- 1 part simple syrup
- 4 sprigs mint
- seltzer

Add rum, simple syrup, lime juice, pear nectar and 3 sprigs mint to shaker and muddle until desired mint flavor is achieved. Strain into footed glass filled with ice. Top with seltzer. Garnish with sprig of mint and slice of pear. (recipe by Gwen)