the luckiest among us have enjoyed both the pleasure of an experienced older lover, and the perishable gifts of a younger one too. and what better captures the essence of a nubile body’s offerings, than the symbolic-laden cherry?

should you take a young lover, i’d advise pairing (and plying) him or her with satin sheets, chocolate, alcohol, feathers, rope—and a full day in which to enjoy them all. should you take a lover beyond your years, relish and remember the priceless lessons bestowed upon you. in such an age-disparate affair, i can’t help but wonder which lover would be more fortunate to have found the other: the older and more experienced lover… or the young, eager lover? perhaps each partner’s luck would be equal…

all though coconut falls under the thumb of cancer, chocolate and cherry are ruled by none other than the goddess of love: venus. bottoms up and bottoms off… cheers to those libra lovers everywhere—good lovers do they make.

ps, how cool is this glass? i found it at a yard sale last week along with some concrete skulls and an old glass dome.

YOUNG LOVER:
2 1/2 oz kijafa (danish chocolate cherry flavored wine)
2 oz coconut milk (surprisingly, this tastes nothing like coconut)
1 oz chocolate syrup***

shake over ice and strain into chilled glass. garnish with a fresh cherry.

***do not use hersheys. use organic syrup or you will be ingesting GMO corn syrup, which causes sterility-inducing tumors. tough choice huh… tumors or organic.

this month, i wrote about the birthday sign au courant for my zodiac cocktail column published in MOD magazine… as you might have guessed, it’s all about LIBRA… but isn’t it always though?

chocolate. i was just told by my new age psychic medical docter dude that i’m allergic to it. well, only sex is better than chocolate, and only by a small margin. so sorry doctor, i cannot and will not give up my chocolate! apparently, pure dark chocolate has a high acidity content, and fyi, acid is bad for our systems. don’t even go down the milk chocolate road… that’s just wrong all the way round. devil’s tool wrong… but so like, here i am, knowing that i shouldn’t be touching chocolate with a ten foot pole and yet there i go rubbing myself all in it. hello? self control? you there? will power? out to lunch—binging on chocolate. and so it goes with me, chocolate, and libra. those troublesome libra men—so hot, so wrong. when oh when will i stay away? i’m trying to refrain from both these days—and libra’s LUJURIA is helping me out with some simulated intimacy. a double shot of godiva chocolate liqueur in a dark beer does wonders for the palette and the libido. BTW, the tempting cocoa bean is ruled by venus and is thus a tempting libra. as if you couldn’t have guessed. this beer concoction goes down real smooth, just like libra men.

LUJURIA
one bottle dark beer
double shot godiva chocolate liqueur

stemming back to my child hood days as a competitive gymnast, i still have the propensity to do cartwheels over a big, inviting, open surface when i see one. freshly mowed lawns are my all-time favorite surface to flip on, but a nice big, well-vacuumed carpet comes in a close second. such was the case with mr. libra III’s oriental rug. like the man himself, his carpet was irresistible… invitingly clean, no offensive odors, impeccably coordinated, constructed by the nimblest of fingers, top notch stuff. and like when we first met, the word no was suddenly absent from my vocabulary. it was a second date and i hardly knew him, but i knew it was too soon to be turning tricks on his rug. still, those fibers called and over i came. before i knew what was happening, nadia comănec’s athletic spirit possessed me for a spell… my body erected itself into a perfect handstand… and continued on to a perfectly executed pirouette… and finished with an impressive mid-air straddle. it was here that my shirt fell above my stomach, exposing a flash of flesh that had the same effect on mr. libra III that his rug had on me. almost against his will, over he came, cocktail in hand, not a splash made, eager to taste the flash of belly flesh. that was a very good day indeed, mr. libra III.

BELLY FLASH:

1 oz irish whiskey
1 oz flavoured water
ice

mr. libra III drinks his poison with tap water, but i recommend adding fruit-infused H2O to make the BELLY FLASH that much more palatable. girls beware: both of libra III’s and this ain’t no girly drink, take heed!

leave it to libra to invent a cocktail as smooth, tasty and richly colored as this. ahh, to be one of the beautiful people… well, if you didn’t win the biological looks lottery you can still have one of the beautiful one’s cocktails. yes, i’m referring to libra, the zodiacal siren. one sip of this libational masterpiece will make you feel like you’re on a yacht. venus’ overwhelmingly fragrant rose mixes with mar’s overpowering pungent basil just enough to perfectly accent venus’ delectable raspberry… why the knife you ask? because to a capricorn like myself, libra’s a deadly weapon. note to self: no more affairs with libra men.

1 oz fresh lemon juice
2 dashes rose water (health food/gourmet)
2 dozen red raspberries
3 leaves basil
2 oz simple syrup
1 1/2 vodka

rick from KAISER PENGUIN (no we’re not related) is hosting MXMO this month with the insane theme of LIMIT ONE. as in, too high an alcohol content in a tipple, necessitates the consumption of no more than one of those tipples. i’m a lightweight, so this topic is way out of my bar cheffing realm.

i’m always amazed at how someone can derive pleasure from imbibing a manhattan. in my eyes that is akin to sipping gasoline. i wish i could be that cool under fire to nonchalently order a manhattan… the fire i speak of is the one running all the way down your chest after you take a sip. i’m not cool! in an attempt to make this high octane classic more palitable, i used cherry-infused whiskey, compliments of sweet venus’ delectable cherry. sugary venus also rules the easy-going sign that is symbolized by a scale… dear libra, take it easy with this deadly drink!

(as this is a variation on the true MANHATTAN, this is called the MANHATTANITE.)

MANHATTANITE

2 oz cherry whisky (PHILIPS UNION CHERRY WHISKEY) or infuse your own*
1 oz sweet vermouth
few drops orange bitters
cherry or two (never use store bought maraschino, those are unhealthy!!! make your own, or use sour cherries like moi)

add all ingredients to shaker with ice. stir, do not shake! strain into martini glass.

* cut 30 sweet cheeries in half and place in 750 ml bottle whiskey for a few weeks. store in cool, dark place. agitate to expediate process. strain out cherries to store.

if you’re looking for green this weekend, don’t forget the mojito! cuban irish? why not! this green-hued libation is pure heaven, like most of venus’ progeny. for she bears all things sweet, succulent and savory. that would be mint and pears. delic…

i’ve recently been chastised by my libran friend for harping on the scale’s cliche indecisiveness. in my defense, i pointed to the fact that my dialogue concerns strictly sun signs, and that is a very general topic! so libras everywhere, hear this: if i offended you with my triteness, please accept my apologies. my friend went on to explain that he always orders the same drink every single time he steps foot in a pub. there is apparently not an ounce of hesitation behind any of his beverage decisions. i was really taken to task here! so i say to dave, and any libras like him, you must have an earth rising sign (like say capricorn, virgo, or taurus) to be so fixed in your bar menu…

dear zodiacal intoxicants, remember, you’re sun sign is a generalization of the real you. most of it’s correct, but sometimes it’s not. and that’s due to other planets in your chart that are influencing your personality. get a free birth chart here, or get one professionally done here.

CUBALAND (PEAR MOJITO)

- 1 1/2 parts white rum
- 1 part fresh squeezed lime juice
- 2 parts freshly extracted pear nectar
- 1 part simple syrup
- 4 sprigs mint
- seltzer

Add rum, simple syrup, lime juice, pear nectar and 3 sprigs mint to shaker and muddle until desired mint flavor is achieved. Strain into footed glass filled with ice. Top with seltzer. Garnish with sprig of mint and slice of pear. (recipe by Gwen)

will she swallow or will she not? that is a question for libra… flirt extraordinaire punctuated by a zodiacal question mark. not only will this little vixen keep you guessing, but she’ll keep herself guessing too! this drink is named in her honor and for the devil’s advocate she plays in any given argument. doesn’t matter what she believes… she’ll choose the side not taken for the sheer fairness of giving both parties a judicious hearing. yup, she really will drive ya nuts in a debate, but take solace in that she does the same to herself, 24/7. Including what to drink, and when, and where, and how, and wether to swallow or not. the one thing she won’t ask is why. another drink? libra always says, why not!

the alluring sign of libra is ruled by the planet of beauty and love, venus. like all libras, who are usually a very attractive bunch, fruits and flowers under this planet are also exceptionally enticing. pleasing to look at, to smell, to swallow. the venusian pear and elderflower in this cocktail makes it quite intoxicating.

THE SWALLOW:

2 oz sake
1 oz freshly extracted pear nectar*
3/4 oz elderflower syrup*
1/4 fresh squeezed lemon

* (if pears are overly soft, a puree will work)

as soon as you juice the pears, add the lemon juice to preserve color as it will go brown very quickly. stir the pear juice, lemon, sake and elderflower syrup very well and pour into chilled cocktail glass. garnish with a kiss.

(recipe created by gwen sutherland kaiser)

ELDERFLOWER SYRUP
i found making this to be a very VERY labor intensive proposition. and buggy as hell. seems not just libra’s like elderflower, but every damn bug in the insect kingdom too!
shake “ripe” flowers off bush into container. the ones that aren’t ready to fall will stay on bush. after you finish plucking out the critters, go to any one of the ELDERFLOWER SYRUP recipes below:
JEREMY TAYLOR
JOANNA’S FOOD
ABSOLUTELY GREEN RECIPES
THE PASSIONATE COOK

thanks to KALYN’S KITCHEN for hosting WEEKEND HERB BLOGGING #107.

(photo credit: mary claire miraldi)

snakes are big right now. absolut pears just released their new campaign featuring snakes. all though, they should really try reading the good book again, because i’m pretty sure it spoke of a snake with an apple, not a pear. fashion designer robert cavalli designed his kick ass snake vodka bottle and snake spout. and the weekend before last, your truly was conducting a snake martini photo shoot. all highly ironic of course, because snakes loathe alcohol, so much that if they ever have you in their deadly grip, pour a bottle of bacardi on their face and they will release you. oh, did i mention that my 5 year old nephew is currently obsessed with the sexy reptiles? lastly, snake skin is important this season. but FYI, buy the fake stuff. the real suffers a horrible death, nailed against a tree and skinned alive. no being deserves that, no matter how venomous. but onward and upward to astrology and cocktails, and what in the hell have snakes got to do with them? well, the apple is ruled by Venus, planet of love. you are the apple of my eye was surely spoken of a libra. eve fell for the knowing snake’s lure, the gift and curse of knowledge. while snakes don’t really have an astrological designation, they do represent transformation, and would therefore be assimulated with scorpio more than any other sign. so here’s some helpful knowledge libra: when life gives you apples, make applesauce!

SSSSSAUCY

2 oz vodka (robert cavalli snake vodka is perfect)
1/4 cup applesauce (homemade preferred)
tonic water

add ingredients to ice filled collins glass. top a good portion of the glass with tonic water and stir well.

APPLESAUCE

skin, core and chop 5 apples. place in saucepan with one cup raw organic sugar and 1 vanilla pod. (cut vanilla pod in half to expose black seeds in center of pod). if you do not have a vanilla pod, then use 5 drops vanilla organic extract. scrape out the black seeds. simmer until apples are soft. place in blender or food processor and puree until extremely smooth.

NOTE: you can just make plain applesauce, or any flavor you desire!

(recipe created by gwen sutherland kaiser)

want a sleek snake spout? there’s a gift with purchase promo going on right now… so get em while you can girlsssss!

thanks to ONCE UPON A TART for hosting WEEKEND HERB BLOGGING #100.

SUICIDE GIRLS: rattlesnake bites face off moron.

Hardly the shrinking violet type, flirtatious Libra’s cocktail is made with the sweet little Violet, flower child of Venus. Libra and Taurus are both ruled by Venus, as are all things beautiful, sensual, fragrant and sweet. If you’ve ever tasted a violet candy–or a candied violet–you’ll know how delectable this petit fleur can be. My mother’s childhood memories include digging for the violet creme in the box of chocolates her aunt would send every Christmas. That was in Britain where it’s not so hard to secure violet flavoured products; unlike the US, where it’s quite the challenge. You can find Chowards Violet gum & mints at select grocers, but for pretty much anything else Violet we must turn to our faithful World Wide Web companion. Violet syrup, violet liquor, violet candies and crystallized violets can all be found with the click of a mouse. In fact, France even celebrates a Violet Festival (La Fete des Violettes) where the town of Tourrettes sur Loup celebrates the harvesting of these precious blossoms which are it’s livelihood. (Thanks to Little Fancies for this interesting tidbit.) In contrast to it’s subtle flavour, the violet’s color is an intense purple, as you can see from the photo below. I just read in the NYT that artist Sigmar Polke used violet as a pigment in his paintings for a purple hue with an unatainable gold shimmer unable to be aquired with the use of our modern, conventional paints.

SHRINKING VIOLET (VIOLET CAIPIRINHA)

2 oz cachaca
2 tbsp violet sugar*
1/2 lemon
garnish: violet petals

Cut lemon into small pieces and place in wide-bottomed glass. Add 2 tbsp of Violet sugar, and macerate for several minutes until the mixture is of a paste-like consistency. You can muddle (or mush) the lemon and sugar with any of the following:
*muddler (EXPLORE THE POUR found a real good one)
* end of a thin rolling pin
* end of a wooden spoon
* spurtle
Fill glass with crushed ice and pour cachaca into glass, stirring before serving. Float violet petals for garnish (lemon wedge will do if you don’t have any.)

***VIOLET SUGAR
Pull the petals off as many violets as you can find. Here in New York, they usually bloom early May. Add 1/2 cup of violet petals to food processor with 1/2 cup sugar. Pulse five times briefly, and add another 1/2 cup sugar. Puree for 1 minute until flowers are disintegrated and sugar takes on a purple hue. (Recipe created by Gwen Sutherland Kaiser).

SEE ALSO: VIOLET FLEURTINI, AMIE DE LA VIOLETTE (1 part gin, 1 part violet liquor, 1 part fresh squeezed grapefruit juice, thanks again Little Fancies) , VIOLET CHOCOLATE CREAM COCKTAIL