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Chilled Magazine       Zodiac Spirits

Thursday, May 1, 2014

salted mezcal cider compliments of capricorn


i could drink a lot of these. sweet, sour, smoky and salty. all part of a naughty mexican treat.

technically, agave belongs to scorpio/aries… apple cider belongs to taurus/libra… salt belongs to cancer… but i’m assigning this drink to CAPRICORN. why? because smoke is ruled by saturn and can go cappie/aquarius.

and this drink is all about smoke. i love it. and i’m a goat. it’s mine!!! so i hereby proclaim this to be a drink of capricorn. but i’m gonna let you guys have the recipe so you can make your own and pretend it’s yours…

making this drink even more capricornian, btw, is my vintage mexican bag in the background. goats love antiques. even real goats. i remember when i was a kid (ha), my pet goat- felisha -grabbed an antique newspaper out of a collector’s hand and devoured it on the spot. so, celestial goats and furry goats are both very into vintage!


6 oz hard cider (standard cider‘s true companion)
2 oz del maguey crema de mezcal (organic)

rim glass with agave dipped in himalayan pink salt.

serve over ice, or not! cheers!

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac

Thursday, April 3, 2014

polish snakebite is capricorn’s vice

polish snakebite

you might know i’m a cappie because it’s all about me. but did you know i love black currants? anything with blackcurrant flavoring is good. anything with cassis is even better. enter the POLISH SNAKEBITE. not to be confused with the SCOTTISH SNAKEBITE which consists of equal parts lager and hard cider with a shot of ribena or cassis.

my polish friend, olivia (a cancer), tells me they drink this by the gallon over there. so i tried it. not bad. plus it’s sparkly and pretty so that makes it not badder ; ) i would say this simple drink is simply amazing.

black-currant lest we forget, blackcurrants are a fruit of capricorn because they are ruled by saturn due to their dark color and sometimes sour flavor. yea, my “mentor” culpepar, lists all currants under venus, but i think the currant category needs to be broken down into subcategories. with all the different types of currants, one category is way too broad. if you haven’t tasted blackcurrant, which is quite possible as they were once illegal in the US, they have a deliciously bittersweet flavor. deliciously bittersweet just like capricorn. this goat picked these berries just last summer… cheers!


• a shot of cassis
(new to the US market, but nearly 200 years old, LEJAY CASSIS is where it’s at–it is the original, first of its kind, cassis–WOW)

• in hard cider
(celebrating a 175th anniversary this year, brotherhood winery, bottles TRUE BELIEVER–get the ginger apple is FAB with LEJAY)

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

saturn return cocktail

Those in the know, know that when Saturn Returns to your birth planet, life will never be the same. Every 30 or so years, Saturn, the slowest moving planet in our solar system, completes his orbit. Also known as Father Time, the Lord of Karma and the Great Malefic, if your life lacked structure and meaning, it won’t for much longer.

This October 6th, Saturn returned to Scorpio in a rare “mutual reception.” Which means that Saturn is in Scorpio, and Scorpio is in Saturn. Very rare! And just another one of 2012’s unusual and synchronistic galactic activities! Luckily for us, Saturn and Scorpio get along great together… which is not always the case with planets!

So if you were born in 83, 84 or 85 you’re going to feel the effects immensely in the manner stated. But even for the rest of us, we’ll feel this alignment as well. this For example, between 28 and 30 at my Saturn Return, I stopped partying every night of the week, focused on a career direction and began a long-term relationship. Expect your second Saturn Return around age 60, and every 30 years after that…

The “SATURN RETURN” is a cocktail of Capricorn, because Saturn is the ruler of Capricorn. Saturn imparts wisdom and stamina with a healthy dose of conservatism onto Capricorn. that said, i’m a cappie, and are the farthest thing from conservative. Keep in mind we are SO much more than our Sun Sign.

Saturn rules plants that are poisonous, dark in color, have very sour/bitter flavors or the opposite spectrum of bland, nearly non-existent flavors. It is the most complex inner planet and so are it’s attributes. Saturn is known for it’s life-extinguishing quality, while the Sun on the other hand is known for its life-giving quality. Smoke is a concentration of carcinogenic hydrocarbons, and liquid smoke is therefore ruled by Saturn.

Now if you’re nowhere near your Saturn Return, but would like to gain some discipline and longevity in your life nonetheless, you can still accomplish that by imbibing a “SATURN RETURN.” This strong-willed libation captures all the fortitude of Saturn…


2 oz zodiac vodka
2 oz strong black tea
2 oz cider
2 drops liquid smoke
1 oz maple syrup

heat all ingredients to a boil on stove. fill glass with 2 oz zodiac vodka and top with remaining mixture. garnish with an apple slice*

APPLE SLICE GARNISH: to prevent browning, soak or rub the apple slice in lemon or lime juice before serving.

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

gwen’s texan talk is the sidedish of d magazine

Hey we’re in Side Dish of D MAGAZINE, featuring my Astrology Mixology Talk & Tasting with Zodiac Vodka:

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac

Monday, December 19, 2011

under the stars w/ me, susan miller & todd english

this past holiday i created the cocktails for UNDER THE STARS, an astrology-themed event with famed astrologer SUSAN MILLER and celebrity chef TODD ENGLISH. both of whom, seem to be nice people, which i am glad to report : ) Todd’s head chef was even nice… he shared this culinary tip with me: “gwen, you should toast your spices to bring out the flavor before cooking with them!” oh, says me. DUH, thanks mike the scorpio : ) i have tested this since, and it really does help immensely. SUSAN gave a speech on what 2012 will bring (awesomeness for every sign) and TODD served 4 element-inspired apps, while promoting his latest book. there was a pop-up zodiac shop too, in which IZ glassware was featured. it was a fun night, and hey, now i can say that i’ve been interviewed by the wall street journal. that was cool! read all about it on

as promised, i’m putting all the recipes from UNDER THE STARS online, so now all you zodiac junkies can drink your very own sign for some extra christmas cheer this year!


The work of Nicholas Culpeper, the father of western herbalism, serves as a guide when i create astrology-themed drinks. His work may still be referred to in online classes at culinary arts schools today. Culpeper’s books are still in print, 300 years after he wrote detailed descriptions of which plants belong to which signs and how to use them medicinally. In Medieval Herbal Astrology, plants have Zodiac signs, just like people. In the Medieval times only seven planets had been discovered as opposed to nine today. Therefore, since these drinks are based on Medieval Herbal Astrology, the ancient ruling planet for each sign is referenced.

“under the stars” was sponsored by TYKU, perrier and jim beam, the recipes call for these fine products. cheers!

Aries’ Cocktail features CRANBERRY as its star ingredient! Aries is ruled by Mars: The scarlet, fiery, hot planet. Flavors that are very spicy or very tart are often ruled by Mars. The cranberry’s bright crimson color, underscored by its tangy flavor certainly betrays its allegiance to the red planet, and is hence an Aries.

2 oz sochu, 2 oz cranberry syrup, 1/2 oz fresh lemon juice, perrier
(shake over ice and strain pour into an ice packed collins glass. Top with Perrier. Garnish with a floating fresh cranberry)

2 c white sugar, 3 c water, 1 c fresh cranberries, peel of half a small orange
(simmer for 20-30 minutes and strain)

Taurus’ Cocktail features PEPPERMINT as its star ingredient! If its divinely fragrant and tantalizingly tasty, you can bet its ruled by Venus. This beautiful planet rules all fruit, herbs and flowers that are particularly fragrant. Hence, mint falls under the dominion of Venus and may be identified as a Taurus.

2 oz sochu, 1 oz peppermint syrup, 1 oz lemon juice
(served up with a mini candy cane garnish)

3 c white sugar, 2 c water, 1 tsp peppermint extract
(heat until dissolved)

Gemini’s Cocktail features HAZELNUT as its star ingredient! Culpeper lists the hazelnut under Mercury. The tree’s delicate leaves & flowers are indicative of this planet’s fleeting & wispy qualities. After all, Mercury is the fastest orbiting planet in our solar system. hazelnut is a Gemini.

2 oz sochu, 1 oz hazelnut cocoa syrup, 1 oz creamer
(served up with a few pcs of floating chopped hazelnut garnish)

1 c “NUTELLA” spread,2 c water
(heat lightly and whisk until blended)

Cancer’s Cocktail features EGG as its star ingredient! The egg is ruled by the Moon, as is Cancer. They share the traits of a hard outer shell and a soft, pale, fleshy inside. Cancer is known for its innate creativity, along with a desire to “nest.” What symbolizes those two qualities more than the egg?

2 oz whiskey, 1 oz ‘nog anise syrup, 1 oz creamer
(served up with a floating star anise)

1 c brown sugar, 1 ½ c water, 2 cinnamon sticks, 5 star anise, 4 tsp chopped, fresh ginger, 3 tsp vanilla extract, 10 cardamom pods
(toast spices over medium low in pan first. then simmer for 20-30 minutes and strain)

Leo’s Cocktail features CLEMENTINE as its star ingredient! The bright, round, orange-colored, life-giving star of our solar system, the Sun, rules over Leo. Because the clementine bears a heavy physical resemblance to the sun, it is given ruler ship under it. The clementine is a Leo.

2 oz sochu, 1 oz clementine rosemary syrup, 1 1/2 oz lemon juice
(served over ice topped with Perrier. Garnish with a slice of clementine)

2 chopped clementines, ¼ c chopped fresh rosemary, 2 c white sugar, 2 c water
(simmer for 20-30 minutes and strain)

Virgo’s Cocktail features POMEGRANATE as its star ingredient! The pomegranate is ruled by Mercury due to its astringent qualities. Mercury is the fleet-footed planet and therefore holds ownership over anything that is fast-binding and drying in nature. That is why the pomegranate is a Virgo.

1 oz sochu, 1 oz tyku liqueur, 1 1/2 oz pomegranate grenadine, 1/2 oz lemon juice
(serve up and garnish with 3 floating pomegranate seeds)

Equal parts 100% pomegranate juice and water
(simmer for 20-30 minutes)

Libra’s Cocktail features SUGAR PLUM as its star ingredient! Libra is ruled by the Venus, the beautiful planet. Venus holds dominion over things that are sugary sweet, succulent, attractive and delectable in nature. A perfectly ripe, juicy plum would certainly fall under ruler ship of Venus, and may be called a Libra.

1 oz sochu, 1 oz tyku liqueur, 1 oz plum syrup, 1 oz lemon juice
(serve up and garnish with a sugar rim)

2 c white sugar, 3 c water, 2-3 chopped fresh plums
(simmer for 20-30 minutes and strain)

Scorpio’s Cocktail features CLOVE as its star ingredient! The incredibly pungent and powerful clove is ruled by none other than what many refer to as the planet of war, Mars. Really, it is the planet of passion and the strength to defend and protect. In fact, clove is so strong it can be used to defeat Cancer. Today, Scorpio is considered co-ruled by Mars and Pluto.

1 oz sochu, 1 oz sake, 1 oz lemon juice, 1 oz clove chili syrup, perrier
(served over ice, topped with perrier, garnished with a floating clove and straw)

1 c white sugar, 3 c water, 2-3 pinches cloves, 1 small handful or approx 20 dried chili arbols
(toast chilis and clove over medium low in pan first. simmer for 15-20 minutes and strain)

Sagittarius’ Cocktail features FIG as its star ingredient The vast number of seeds in a fig makes it a fruit ruled by Jupiter, the largest planet in our solar system. This huge planet is the owner of all things Ubiquitous, prolific, abundant and colossal in nature. This is why the fig is listed as a Sagittarius.

2 oz whiskey, 1 ¼ oz fig syrup, ¾ oz fresh lemon juice
(shake over ice and strain into glass. Garnish with a dried fig slice)

1 c fresh chopped figs, 1 c white sugar, 2 c water
(simmer for 20-30 minutes and strain)

Capricorn’s Cocktail features MOLASSES as its star ingredient! Discarded as a by-product, molasses is the almost black, densely thick, mildly bittersweet syrup that is born from the dregs of the sugar cane plant. Saturn symbolizes frugality, austerity and scarcity. Molasses is ruled by Saturn due to the nature of its genesis.

2 oz whiskey, 1 oz gingerbread syrup, 1 oz creamer
(served up with a slice of candied ginger garnish)

GINGERBREAD SYRUP: 2 c brown sugar, 2 c water, 1 c molasses, 5 tbsp chopped fresh ginger
(simmer for 20-30 minutes and strain)

Aquarius’ Cocktail features CEDAR as its star ingredient! Saturn is the slowest moving planet, symbolizing longevity and resilience. Plants ruled by this constant planet are extremely hardy in nature–take for example the famously pest and weather-resistant cedar tree. Today Aquarius is considered co-ruled by Saturn and Uranus. That’s why cedar is an Aquarius.

1 oz sochu, 1 oz sake, 3/4 oz lemon juice, 1 oz cedar syrup
(served up with a sugar rim)

2 c white sugar, 2 c water, 1 c dried cedar tip needles
(toast cedar over medium low in pan first. simmer for 20-30 minutes and strain)

Pisces’ Cocktail features CHESTNUT as its star ingredient! The chestnut tree’s diameter can be as great as 17 feet, which epitomizes the grandiose qualities of the largest planet in our solar system, Jupiter. Today, Pisces is considered co-ruled by Jupiter and the more recently discovered Neptune. The chestnut is a Pisces and sheer size alone is what determines that.

2 oz whiskey, 1 oz chestnut syrup, 1 oz creamer
(served up a chestnut slice garnish)

2 c white sugar, 2 c water, 1 c chopped and peeled roasted chestnuts
(simmer for 20-30 minutes and strain)

Slice each nut prior to baking with a knife, but try not to penetrate flesh. Then it will be easier to slice them for garniature.

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

mojito noir: an old goat’s drink

cap now that we’re in full swing mojito season, this recipe is a delicious twist on the same ‘ole, same ‘ole. so simple, so stupendous. kind of like a goat, kind of like THE goat. there’s really no such thing as a young capricorn. born that little bit wiser than the all other signs, they enter this world years beyond their age, and actually seem to grow younger rather than older. the good news is that you don’t have to be an old goat to enjoy the depth of character and darkness of color in this normally light beverage.

the incredibly powerful acai berry is ruled by saturn due to it’s rather dull taste and dark color. the one negative to this amazing fruit is that it is actually high in acid. cheers!

2 oz spiced black rum
1 juicy lime, cubed
2 tbsp sugar (superfine)
açaí juice

Muddle 3 sprigs mint with sugar, lime. Add ice, rum. Top with açaí juice. Stir.

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac

Monday, March 16, 2009

capricorn’s mexican hat dance with the chelada

chelada.jpgjust in time for st paddy’s day, the lime belongs to saturn, making this little green fruit a capricorn. speaking of saturn, the world is enduring a saturnine cosmic hail storm as we speak. for hell hath no fury like the cold, ringed planet scorned. she’s spitting unripe, rock hard limes out of the sky… wacking us all in the head for not paying attention sooner. for ignoring the structure of our world and how ridiculously and artificially propped up it is… forcing us to face our rudimentary societal problems. yup, saturn (capricorn) is the zodiacal beheamoth that will bring even the strongest to their knees. (a rendez vous with mars, the warrier planet, will seem like a trip to the day spa after tangling with saturn). her spanking is not only physical, but emotional, mental, and psychological.

oh yes, those ruled by saturn are all too aware, there is no pleasure without pain. from every wrong, comes a right. so from the turmoil, chaos, and saturn’s dark days of terror will come the brightest and most euphoric light your little mind dare dream up. the light you always knew existed. the bliss you always knew was yours. it’s the getting to it that’s the hard part.

and based on the research of ancient seers, modern day astrologers, channelers, shamans, and even pundits, that day will come sometime post 2012. so until then my friends, we must all hang on to our sombreros and wait until the sun comes out. here’s a little something to make that wait easier… it’s called the CHELADA and it’s served with love at COMIDA (82nd & columbus, nyc). stop in and roll this mexican masterpiece around your mouth, and you’ll agree… lime is better when lubed with beer… cheers to the chelada.

fill glass with ice, add shot of fresh lime juice, fill with beer. don’t forget to rim the glass with sea salt!

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

save the bees knees – cheers to cappie’s honey bee

the workaholic honey bee is certainly one of saturn’s capricornian minions. pay homage to the hardest working insect of the zodiac and enjoy this classic tipple. bees are like any other capricorn… without them… the world would grind to a halt. the goat, or bee, sees to it that things happen, deadlines get met, honey gets made, savings accounts are opened, combs of honey are stored for winter, ect. so thank your fellow capricorn next time you get the chance for keeping the spokes of our big world wheel turning.

don’t forget to also thank the honey bee by:

***planting a garden (yes one plant on your city rooftop does count),

***buying organic produce (and avoiding GM foods like corn, white rice, papaya. unfortunately, the only way to be sure you are avoiding GM foods is to buy organic due to the absence of government required labeling)

***minimizing your use of pesticides (rethink your lawn care and try going au natural. or practice integrated pest management)

***limiting the use of your cell phone (and all other wireless devices. FYI, these are also bad for us.)

***for the very ambitious among us, raising a hive. it’s not as hard as it sounds, and can be quite meditative.)

***taking government action: read here on how germany just outlawed several pesticides. (god forbid the US could so something as intelligent and progressive as that.)

2 oz organic gin
3/4 oz organic honey syrup*
1/2 oz fresh organic lemon juice

*make honey syrup by mixing equal parts hot water and honey. stir until dissolved.

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac

Sunday, March 2, 2008

naturally green g & t – cappie’s st patrick infusion

green-gt.jpg it’s that time o’ year again… everyone is irish! how about going naturally green, instead of chemically food coloring green? it’s simple…

place one cup shredded organic spinach and 750 ml gin in a container to sit together for at least 12 hours. the longer you leave it, and the more spinach you use, the darker the green will get. strain back into original bottle (agitating expediates the process).

the intensity of the green in this G & T was weakened by the tonic water. to serve a REALLY green drink this st. paddy’s day, make a GREEN GIMLET instead…

the popeye strong spinach plant is – you guessed it – ruled by the hardiest of planets, saturn. so spinach, my friends, is a capricorn. similar to the capricornian pansy, it is supposed to be an annual plant in these parts. however, it also will survive the cold, long northeastern winter if planted at the right time of year. spinach will be the last veggie you pick before the snow completely encases you, and the first one you pick after the “tundra” melts. spinach is there for ya baby… whada capricorn! dependable, reliable, diligent, responsible… they’re a barrel of laughs. the funny thing is though, they really are. some of the greatest comedians (howard stern, Julia Louis-Dreyfus) of our day have been capricorns. so here’s to spinach, alcohol and laughter, three of the world’s best medicines…

As they say in Ireland–Sláinte!

1 1/2 oz green gin*
1 oz simple syrup*
3/4 oz fresh lime juice

1/2 oz fresh lime juice
4 oz tonic water
3 oz green gin
twist of lime for garnish

pack collins glass with ice. add tonic water, green gin, lime juice and stir. oversized twist of lime for garnish.

* simple syrup is a mixture of 50% water/50% sugar. use raw organic sugar for best flavor and most eco points. do not heat. place in container and shake until dissolved. store in fridge.

thanks to KOCHTOPF for hosting WEEKEND HERB BLOGGING #122.

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Black Magic – capricorn sips with satan’s saturn


Capricorn will pass us all on the road of life. Her’s is a classic tale of tortoise and hare, she being the tortoise. Aries, for one, being the hare. Slow and steady is her mantra. One foot at a time up the steep mountain of life, until she finally reaches the top, just in time to drop dead.

what i’m saying here is don’t count this girl out the race just yet. don’t throw her away before she’s done. there’s always more to capricorn than meets the eye, for the goat-fish is arguably the most complex sign of the zodiac. sorry to steal your thunder scorpio! so she looks conservative. she acts uptight. she seems boring. you think you’ve got her figured out, when you haven’t unwrapped even one full layer yet. men beware—if you let this one in, you’re beggin’ for a beatin’. and the fact that you’re gonna like it scares the shit out of you.

so let’s talk about sex, i mean molasses, and the dregs of sugar cane that it is. discarded as a by-product, molasses is the almost black, densely thick, mildly bitter sweet syrup that comes from using every part of the plant. this fact is true to capricorn’s very nature of utilizing every tool at her disposal, no matter how seemingly insignificant! “waste not, want not” was surely coined by the goat-girl. this is why my friends, molasses is ruled by saturn and is a capricorn.


Fresh Squeezed Orange Juice
Fennel-Infused Vodka*
Mollasses Syrup*

Add 2 oz fennel vodka, 2 oz espresso, 2 oz mollasses syrup, 1 oz orange juice, into ice-filled shaker. Shake and strain into chilled martini glass. Garnish with oversized orange twist.

*Mollasses Syrup: Simmer one cup mollasses, one cup water until dissolved. Add splash vodka and Store in fridge.

*Vodka Fennel Infusion: Add three cups chopped fennel bulb or leaves leaves to 750 ml bottle of vodka. Allow to sit in dark place for 3 weeks. Strain into final storage container. In lieu of fresh fennel, try using dried fennel seeds. (Recipe created by Gwen Sutherland Kaiser)

Tell Starbucks to go organic
See Black Gold, the Movie
Visit Solar Roast Coffee
Love Your Sugar Goat

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac

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Imbibe wisely!