this tasty tipple is a cancerian delight. first of all, it’s to be had in bed. and cancer loves her bed. romping and rolling, sleeping or eating.. she just can’t get enough of that mattress - she’s the zodiac’s dirty little housewife and major MILF. secondly, it contains alcohol. nuff said. cancer girl’s a drunk gurl. thirdly, the ovo is ruled by the moon, which would mean that it too, is a crab. the egg’s round shape, largely white hue, hard shell and soft insides, all indicate the moon is at play here. but most of all, the egg exemplifies femininity… the moon is utterly female in nature. all cancer girls are seriously hot women, hear them roar. so, why eat breakfast in bed, when you can drink it instead?

BREAKFAST IN BED (EARLY RISER)

3 oz rum
1 oz maple syrup
4 oz fresh squeezed orange juice
1/2 organic free-range egg white
optional garnish: confectionary sugar with strawberry
***yields breakfast for two

add rum, maple syrup, orange juice, egg to ice filled shaker and shake vigorously for ten seconds. prepare cocktail glass by slitting strawberry and running around rim and then rolling in confectionary sugar. pour drink into glass and garnish with the strawberry. (recipe by gwen)

the pumpkin is ruled by cancer. it’s hard exterior and sloppy insides are tres typical of most cancerian produce and all members of the family cucurbitaceae, which includes cucumbers, melons, squash, and gourds. and speaking of produce, the moon is responsible for producing chicks that are way cool, a tad aloof and bit rough around the edges - all a feminine kinda way. like a sparkling and priceless diamond hidden deep within the lump of humble homely coal. this is one lump of coal you’d be lucky to get in your stocking! but only a select few ever get the chance to behold the diamond; most get stuck looking at coal - and if they’re very naughty, getting painfully pinched by her witty wicked words. oh yes, cancer’s the queen of slap downs. don’t dare step out of her dainty little line, i can attest to that! so you see, it’s worth your while to get into cancer’s stockings… she’s a lovely sap, just like those slimy seeds within her brethren fruit, the pumpkin.

CANCER’S STOCKING (CHOCOPUMPKINTINI)
1 oz vodka
3/4 oz godiva chocolate liqueur
2 tbs pumpkin butter
1 oz cream or soy creamer

shake all ingredients with ice for ten seconds and pour into chilled glass.

(recipe created by gwen sutherland kaiser)

it won’t take $20, just a few of these asian-inspired cocktails for cancer to love you long time. the crab loves being in a relationship. she’s rarely single, and thrives in a home setting. she is the zodiacal housekeeper and all though she might be hiding the bottle under the sink, you can be sure she’s hittin it.

the moon rules cancer and all plants cool and wet in nature, like the cucumber. be it a soothing eye mask or a refreshing libation, partaking in either will leave you feeling as cool as a cucumber.

LOVE ME LONG TIME:

3 slices of cucumber
1/4 oz fresh lemon juice
1 oz lychee juice (from can)
2 lychees
1 1/2 oz prosecco

muddle cucumber & lychees in bottom of glass. add lemon and lychee juice. shake and shake in ice filled shaker (you can also stir the drink extremely well, in lieu of shaking). strain into champagne flute, top with prosecco and drop a lychee fruit into the bottom of the drink for a pleasant surprise. garnish with cancer’s cucumber.

(recipe created by gwen sutherland kaiser)

thanks to THE EXPATRIATE’S KITCHEN for hosting WEEKEND HERB BLOGGING #108.

Like the guarded secret behind this crustacean’s famous shell, the aloe vera plant also contains within, a huge pile of sloppy goo. One would never know from the hard, jagged and pointed facade it shows the world, but the innards of aloe vera are soft, cool and soothing - as I remember all too well from those days spent baking in the sun (damn sunspots). Back then, aloe vera gel was my best friend, right behind the tin foil.
Cancer is the sign of containment, and like the the leak-proof, watertight container in which you mix your simple syrup, cancer tends to hold everything inside. when the moon is so full it looks as if it will burst with light, so does the intensity of withheld emotion becomes too much for Her to contain - and that’s where the term crabby came fom. the best way to sooth an ornery crab is to send her white light. if that doesn’t work, try mixing her one instead:

WHITE LIGHT:

6 oz sake
3 oz aloe vera juice
1/2 oz Tanqueray Rangpur Gin
1/4 oz fresh squeezed lime juice
garnish with Zuccini slice (zuccini is a cancerian veggie)

pour ingredients over ice and stir. garnish with a slice of zuccini - another cooling vegetable of the moon.

(recipe created by gwen sutherland kaiser)

***if you only have the sake and aloe, those two are quite good together on ice alone.

If you’ve had the pleasure of knowing a Cancer, you’re familiar with their hard shelled exterior and sweet, gooey inside. Hyper sensitive, they’ll flinch at the most unexpected (and inconvenient) times. Sort of like walking on something else that has a hard outside and soft inside. Oh yeah-egg shells. Adored for their childlike hearts and sensitive natures… if you can make it through the self-inflicted mood swings, this lovely lady is well worth knowing. Which brings me to our fruit at hand, the Lychee. Ruled by the Moon, it’s soft, white flesh illustrates it’s pale Lunar qualities. Though you wouldn’t guess it from it’s scraggly branches and plain shell. Is it the Lychee’s intoxicating aroma or delectable taste which makes it so wonderful? Dear Cancer, I advice combining the senses and taking a good whiff whilst inhaling this cocktail to enjoy a multi-faceted libational journey. I’m sure you have no qualms with inhaling cocktails, do you now? Delicate and ladylike Cancer could easily inhale five LYCHEE LOVELYS in five minutes!

INGREDIENTS:
- 3 oz freshly extracted pear nectar (the sweeter the pear, the less ginger syrup is needed. I’ve found Bosc to be quite good.)
- 2 oz lychee infused gin*
- 1 oz ginger syrup*
- 1/2 oz fresh lemon juice

DIRECTIONS:
Add lychee gin, ginger syrup, pear and lemon juice to ice filled shaker and shake vigorously for ten seconds. Pour into martini glass (chilled is nice) and garnish with slice of pear.

*LYCHEE INFUSED GIN:
In the absence of fresh lychees, place one can of lychees (without the juice) and 750 ml gin into an airtight container in a dark spot for one month. strain into final storage container (such as the original gin bottle) for future use.

*GINGER SYRUP:
Combine in sauce pot: one cup sugar, one cup water and two thumbs of freshly chopped ginger. Bring to boil and allow to simmer for twenty minutes. To chill quickly, place pot in ice bath; or wait until mixture cools by itself. Pour (using a funnel is helpful) into final storage container, adding approx 1 oz vodka as a preservative.

(Recipe created by Gwen Sutherland Kaiser)

ALSO TRY: Lychee Coconut Cupcakes