my favorite celebrity taurus is Shirley MacLaine. some think she’s a nut. i think she’s both brilliant and courageous. if you haven’t read her best selling book EL CAMINO, it’s both interesting, informative and inspirational. a real good read… like shirley herself, a real good taurus. but a real unusual taurus, or so i thought. for this earthiest of signs, her head surprisingly up in the clouds.

but… apparently, “because we live in a predominantly confused, wounded, and materialistic world that we think Taurus is mainly about money, possessions, and sensual indulgences. But Taurus is also a powerful symbol for enlightenment, and as we begin to wake up, it becomes more important to see Taurus and the 2nd House as referring to the potential for the truest inner peace, and therefore as well as to the obstacles to this real freedom.” VIA ASTROLOGYFORTHESOUL

Whoever said Taureans were predictable didn’t know Shirley MacLaine. But this atypical award winning Terms of Endearment actress, author, dancer, and spiritual seeker is typically Taurean in her quest for inner peace - a journey she’s taken to task. Material bound Taurus Shirley is famous for her earthy stability. Yet look deeper into her easy way in the world of natural things and see a supernatural connection. Shirley talks of past lives, like having been Charlemagne’s lover, or being guided by angels. Like most actresses early in their career, Shirley’s body image was closely tied to her self-worth, so self-love became a lifetime pursuit for Shirley. The body’s imperfections are raw material for Taurus; in appreciating her natural flaws with love and reverence, Taurus connects to her own unshakeable confidence, a security that cannot be bought or sold. Confidence indeed, this head-in-the-stars star is no shrinking violet. Wisdom, maturity, and celebrity have given Shirley her formidable diva reputation, something she proudly claims. “I’m a diva. If someone isn’t doing something right, I tell them and they do it my way. I’ve earned the right”. Can you say no bull? VIA MSN

shirley’s all-important rising sign is virgo, angel of truth and guardian of purity. her taurus/virgo combo really makes sense!

i’ve always had a soft spot for oprah. me and the rest of america, right? ever since oprah’s exposure of the beef industry, i’ve respected her for taking on the hugely powerful business of cattle, while also being a compassionate and successful businesswoman. GO GIRL. which is more than i can say for another successful businesswoman’s prosperous dalliance with the beef industry. yup, lots of good stuff you never knew about hillary out there…

last summer, i attended the NYIGF, a trade show in new york city. i spied a mammoth-sized martini glass and had to make it mine. ALL MINE. nothing would stop me from aquiring this awesome piece of plastic. except OPRAH that is. i made an appointment to return to the exhibitor’s booth at the end of the show and pick up my huge martini glass… i was so exited!!! however, i arrived to be told that the OPRAH peeps had beat me to the punch and swiped it right out from under me. i was astonished… how could they possibly think they would benefit more from giving it to OPRAH, than to me. the nerve. life is so cruel… oprah, how could you? (i finally did get myself a mammoth martini glass. it took a few months of incessant nagging, but all worth it : )

ok, fast forward to now… i just found out that OPRAH has purchased - yes, paid for lock, stock and barrel - her astrological constellation and ruling planet (for an undisclosed 8 digit figure). hell, i didn’t even know they were up for sale! to repeat, OPRAH owns AQUARIUS and URANUS. the latter of which she likes to refer to as MYANUS®. whada sense of humour, that OPRAH. in january 2006, she unveiled her “birthday present to herself” in front of an all-aquarian audience that was later presented with AQUARIAN gemstone bracelets and horoscopes written by OPRAH’S personal astrologer, Steadfast. (who knew?) so between her love of large glassware, expensive planets and fruity tipples, OPRAH is a serious zodiacal intoxicant!

here are some of OPRAH’S favorite liquid things:
OPRAH’S FAVORITE POMEGRANATE MARTINI RECIPE
OPRAH’S LEGENDS LEMON DROP MARTINI

my favorite pisces of all time is albert einstein. i loved his wild fro, and even more, i loved his unyielding piscean compassion… he was a vegetarian. like all the hyper-sensitive water signs (pisces, cancer, scorpio) it is the sign of the two fish that is probably the most sympathetic. the dreamy and irrisistable mind of pisces is ocean of deep thoughts, that are as deep as the ocean. this great genius is the author of both quotes below which capture the essence of of pisces:

“All meaningful and lasting change starts first in your imagination and then works its way out. Imagination is more important than knowledge.” (source)

“Nothing will benefit human health and increase chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet.” (source)

happy birthday pisces : )

(source)

BBLESSING in NYC, serves up beyond-uber trendy men’s fashion, and get this - free absinthe. every afternoon of the blessed week!
VIA NY TIMES

Photo credit LOUCHED LOUNGE

happy birthday paris. i never thought i’d grow to like paris, but none the less, i unexplainably kind of do now, where i never did before. it all started with her seemingly sporadic fondness for elephants… it’s easy to make me your loyal fan - just align yourself with any animal welfare cause, and i’m yo’ bitch. it’s just as easy to make me your enemy, by doing the reverse.

like say, hillary clinton, who imbibed in some very profitable insider trading. she probably used half of what she made to shut the media up. but it happened… about ten years ago she turned $1,000 into $100,00 on some innocent factory farmed beef cows in less than a year. she should have been sharing a cell with poor martha. that why peeps, hillary is a lyer, and if you vote for her, you’ve been swindled. obama is the shit - vote for him. BTW, if you vote republican you deserve to piss warm beer for the rest of your life.

ok, back to paris… i believe paris hilton is the epitomy of aquarian energy. for starters, she’s a blond. and as i’ve said, if constellations had hair, aquarius would be a blonde. she’s completely misunderstood for an utter bimbo, which is of her own doing of course. however, the inability to coherently express oneself is an aquarian trait, and i believe paris wears this one well. this bubbly blonde may have gotten screwed out of her inheritance by gramps (i can’t blame him one bit), but she’s only got more gigs lined up. just one of them is her new champagne endorsement, where “paris is selling sex in a very tasteful way.” how interesting is it that this aquarius is selling champagne in a can? aquarius is the sign of strange and you can’t get stranger than that. why, she’s gonna have more money than her gramps at the rate she’s going! and if she continues along her new “do good for the world” path, then who are we to complain? alledgedly, a percentage of sales from the new RICH PROSECCO champagne, will be donated to charity. cut her some slack peeps, she’s not as awful as she seems! vote: people for paris : )

photo: CITY RAG

A workaholic to the bone, stern has openly admitted being married to his career more than to his ex-wife— who eventually divorced him after a 21 year union. Stern’s rising sign is Taurus–making him appear steadfast and likeable to others. Money–hungry Capricorn paired with luxury–seeking Taurus certainly helped drive Stern to stardom!

a bit more on goats:
Sometimes just getting your “Crapricorn” friend out of the office and into the bar is worthy of a celebration in itself. The workaholics of the zodiac, these self–controlling old goats can be fun–challenged at times. Known for being “older than their years,” a Capricorn child may even be called an “old goat.” The astrological slave driver, Capricorn will rule their domain sternly, wether from the corner office, or the kitchen of their home as they keep house. After all, painting the town red doesn’t come cheap–better for Cappie to lay low and save some more money! Not to worry though… super loyal Capricorns hate letting their friends down, and they’ll often give in to a good guilt trip and come join the party. But beware… don’t push them too hard, as there’s nothing worse than a reluctant goat who’s been dragged out whilst in one of their wretched melancholy moods. They will unintentionally see to it that the entire room is dragged down into their thick fog of despondent gloom! Bewildered by Cappie’s seemingly manic-depressive behavior? Understand that this is the most complex zodiac sign, filled with capricious contrasts… where do you think the word originated from?

the sign of the drunken hunter is presently enjoying her birthday by eating one too many slices of her huge and decadently rich birthday cake. sagg will do everything big, just like her planet. jupiter is the largest planet in our solar system, and is known for its larger than life qualities. miracles, for one. luck for another. and expanding oneself in all areas including mentally (through existential study) or physically (through say, drink). let’s talk about our has-been sagg of the moment, ms. spears. she’s pushing the limit like her sign says she should. the party hunting centaur is known for getting out there and having a blast, staying past last call, moving on to an after-hours party, and then going out to breakfast before crashing really really hard. and if there’s drugs involved (which is not so uncommon with this mind-expanding sign) make that two solid nights and days of partying before she finally hits the sack. sagg girls just wanna have fun. all this said, numerology can explain one’s life in the same way that astrology does. kind of like all religions essentially saying the same thing. in NEWMEROLOGY, nick newmont predicted, that like gary coleman who shares the same life path numbers, britney’s career would be over as quickly as it had begun. i think we can all agree this is exactly how things have gone down. nick made this prediction in 2003 when his book was published - which BTW i totally recommend for anyone remotely curious about numerology. if you’re not the bookworm type, i suggest a satisfying quickie from NUMEROLOGIST.COM. my profile was stunningly accurate. and if you’re the visual type, catch nick’s celebrity predictions for 2008 on E! starting dec. 24th.

photo: CON’S STANCE

when i was younger, and knew less about astrology then i do now, i was fearful of anyone born under the sign of scorpio. all i’d heard was that they were intense and vindictive, and that was scary. but then i had my chart done, and found that low and behold—i had scorpio rising! of course, i commenced learning more about the sign immediately and found that yes, vindictiveness is one of our more negative traits. but when it’s used–it’s usually well warranted. ha, now how scorpio does that sound?! so my sun sign is still capricorn, but my ascending, or rising sign is scorpio, which most astrologers argue plays as significant role in a personality as the sun sign. susan miller even goes as far as to say that you should read both-your sun and rising sign- forecasts each month. i’ve grown to quite like having scorpio in my chart and now at least i sort of understand the constant upheaval i seem to induce, and serious persona i am, and drama queen i can be. if you haven’t had your chart professionally done, put it on your holiday wish list. i’ve read many a chart, and i don’t believe one has ever hurt me in any way. i didn’t go slash my wrists, or gamble my savings, or join a sex club (though that might be a good thing). if anything, it has made me understand parts of me that i never did before, and inspired me to improve my weaknesses so well explained in the reading.

Max Heindel in Simplified Scientific Astrology [1865-1919] has this to say:
“Thus, when you have given an astrologer the data of your birth, you have given him the key to your innermost soul, and there is no secret that he may not ferret out. This knowledge may be used for good or ill, to help or hurt, according to the nature of the man. Only a tried friend should be trusted with this key to your soul, and it should never be given to any one base enough to prostitute a spiritual science for material gain.”

i don’t recommend getting an online quickie (unless it’s with owen) chart, as sometimes they are not accurate. try using a real human-what a novelty! alternatively, try using VEDIC astrology, rather than WESTERN. the former takes into consideration the rotation of the earth’s axis, while the latter does not. wherever you decide to have your chart done, you might just find you have some COSMIC BAD ASS in you too! cheers to the scorpio, one of the most invincible signs of the zodiac. happy birthday owen ; )

and you thought paris liked to drink? no, ellie’s got her beat with a soft spot for rice wine. an incredible story off ECORAZZI reports the sad fact that elephants can be alcoholics too. apparently, while foraging for food, asian elephants discovered vats of fermenting rice wine. they drank it, and have now gotten into the habit of actually seeking it out. can you blame them? thing is though, a pack of drunk elephants wandering around the streets of a small rural village don’t mix well. both peeps and pakaderms get hurt. i have such mixed feelings about this situation. i am saddened by it of course, and can’t help laughing either. but the shock i felt when paris was touched enough to get “involved”, well, i think she might have learned something in the big house after all. or it’s all that chillin with hottie eco celeb adrian… yummy like rice wine!

VIA ECORAZZI

i was getting set to write my birthday ode to libra, when it struck me that i had completely forgotten to congratulate virgo for another fine year. so without furthur ado… two of my favorite virgos are boy hottie tom ford, and girl hottie cameron diaz. each display obvious virgoan traits. take cameron for one. she has become an earth angel, pure of heart, giving all her energy to educate the people of this planet on the atrocities of our home. this blonde goddess of perfection is pure goodness - solid white light. just hearing her famous laugh you feel her innocence and warmth. that is one kind of virgo. then we have another: tom ford. he is a perfectionist to the ultimate extreme of the word, as is his unfettered vision of fashion. as he famously declared, he is his own muse, and that is a fine line to walk. there is no gray area of mediocracy- only beauty and hideousness. all tom touches turns to gold, he is the untouchable golden boy that oozes sex. we are lucky to have both of them in our lives. happy belated birthday virgo!