Intoxicated Zodiac Blog » Cancer Stuff

what’s your sign wine glass party

Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 19:34:09 +0000

throw a WHAT’S YOUR SIGN WINE GLASS PARTY, complete with tarot card reader, astrologer and numerologist.

UVA SPA & WINE did just that… and it was a hit. why? because astrology is HOT. astrology is what the BEAUTIFUL people are into. it’s what the celebrities like. but you know what i say? celebs, schmelebs. astrology is what REAL people are into! OCCUPY
YOUR
GLASS : )

WHAT’S YOUR SIGN GLASSES are beautiful on the outside, and the inside too. they are brimming over with integrity:

***MADE WITH LOVE IN THE USA!
***PORTION DONATED TO ANIMAL CHARITY!
***LEAD & CADMIUM FREE INK!
***GWEN’S ORIGINAL ASTROLOGICAL ILLUSTRATIONS!
***CUTE HANDMADE BOTTLE CAP WINE CHARM!
***COLOR UNIQUE TO EACH SIGN’S ENERGY!
***SIGN-SPECIFIC BAROSCOPE READING ON IT!
***ANCIENT QUOTE: “We are born at a given moment, in a given place and, like vintage years of wine, we have the qualities of the year and of the season of which we are born.Astrology does not lay claim to anything more.~Carl Jung”

BOYS like astrology too.

SERIOUS stuff going on here (with an anything but serious sign, aries), pouring the nectar of the gods. something they are excel at, i might ad ; )

leos always LOVE anything INTOXICATED ZODIAC. look at all those orange leo glasses below!

awww, love those sweet little cancers.

gemini, i guess you’re ok too.

The Cocktail Sword by Charon Henning

Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 02:56:58 +0000

Meet The Most Dangerous Beauty Alive… traveling Sword Swallower Charon Henning. We here at IZ are extremely fortunate to have been selected by the aforementioned for the publishing of Charon’s new column, The Cocktail Sword. Let’s give her a warm welcome, a big thanks, some clickage on her blogs: THE SWORD SWALLOWER and ODD ANGEL, and maybe even catch her show live!

Our Airstream is a Leo with a Libra Ascendant. We know this because we have the original bill of sale from the 27th of July, 1966.

I am firmly of the belief that an Airstream, or any other travel trailer or RV, is not officially born until it passes into the hands of its first family (I feel this way about tattoo machines as well, but thatâ€™s for another post for another time). Sitting stationary on a dealerâ€™s lot or just outside of the factory is a form of gestation, a time of waiting, of being open to growth when the time is right. The addition of the human element, and subsequent elements that it brings, such as the sharing of food, warmth and companionship, are truly what breathed life into our beloved 1966 Airstream Safari. The entire 22 foot length is brimming with stories and history, which we have been continuing to create with it since the turn of the Millenium.

Currently our family consists of two swordswallowers, one an Aries with a Cancer Ascendant, the other (me) a Scorpio with a Cancer Ascendant, a hairless Sphynx cat, a Virgo with a Scorpio Ascendant (which, now that I think on it, explains an awful lot about her behavior that Iâ€™d originally attributed to her breed â€¦ ), and the Airstream. All travel brings adventure, all meals are an event and, if you donâ€™t mind me saying so, the sex is pretty awesome. At least for us. The catâ€™s been spayed. (we call her Brundlefly.)

Given the above variables, it should come as no surprise that we keep a well-stocked cocktail lounge on board. Since we have limited space, we have to choose our bottles, flasks and flavors very carefully. There are foundation liquors to be considered, especially among those of us born under signs that are very much about physicality and the pleasures derived therein. We must always have a few staple items on board at all times and each must serve at least two purposes in the grand scheme of mixology. There are social issues to be considered as well. Living full time in a modern aluminum gypsy wagon means our community changes with the seasons, sometimes with each sign in the heavens, and once the level and style of tippling, or lack thereof, has been established, we know approximately what to bring with us to a gathering.

Generally between 4 and 6 each afternoon the residents of a given campground, fairground, or even the odd truck stop, will come together for some fellowship, story sharing and general face time. At this time each Autumn we find ourselves toting along one of our annual favorites, right as the leaves are changing, when thereâ€™s a snap in the air and when something warm to drink is preferable to anything rocks or shaken. Between Mabon and Samhain is, in our opinion, the very perfect time for mulled wine.

Wine is a perfect libation for the time of year when active external energies are waning and quieter introspective energies are one the rise. Dryer red wine is what we always mull, being signs that prefer the rich full bodied flavors of the dark reds, and we offset the slightly bitter taste of the darker cabernets with local honey as we heat it over the open flame of our stove. To this mixture we add allspice, ginger, nutmeg, orange peel, cinnamon, cloves and lemon peel, all spices that complement the seasonal apple harvest as well as the other edible gourds that grace our tables during this time of year. On the chance that we lack one or more of these spices in our pantry, or are simply pressed for time before we gather with others, we have on board as a backup single serving tea bags of Organic Mulling Spices from R.W. Knudsen Family, four bags of which will satisfactorily mull an entire bottle of wine. A little less than half an hourâ€™s simmering will generally suffice.

Being able to buy locally is one of the pleasures of this sort of ambulatory life, and we explore local flavors more fully at this time of year than at any other. The quality of local wines varies greatly but we have never yet been disappointed by any of the small family owned and run vineyards that welcome people each Autumn to their lands offering the same sort of fellowship all of us on the open road enjoy regularly. Many will package their own combinations of wine, honey and spices together for purchase and it is never a bad idea to invest in such a kit, the ingredients having been selected by those who know their product best.

So as the weather chills a bit we will regularly enjoy the pleasures of mulled wine as a complement of the season, watching the steam rise from our mugs as we step outside in the evenings, able to see every star in the sky from our front yard, wherever that might happen to be. As we transition from Libra to Scorpio in the heavens it is a grand time to reward your previous monthâ€™s balancing act with a bit of sensual goodness straight from your local vineyard. Enjoy!

CHARON’S MULLED WINE:
*1 bottle red wine of your choosing (we prefer the dryer to the sweeter)
*1 cinnamon stick
*1/4 teaspoon whole cloves
*1/2 teaspoon each of the following, wrapped in cheesecloth and tied
(Organic is always best … ):
allspice
ginger
nutmeg
orange peel
lemon peel
*Organic honey to taste

Combine all in a pot on the stove or over a fire, bring to a low boil and reduce heat to simmer, stirring, for about half an hour. Ladle into mugs to serve and go slowly! It hits you like a well-aimed pillow.

Cheers~Charon, The Most Dangerous Beauty Alive
theswordswallowers.com
oddangel.com

Charon Henning is one of a handful of female sword swallowers in the world today. She’s performed on carnival midways and at wine tastings, on theater stages and grassy lots.

Charon also reads tea leaves professionally, a skill she inherited from her grandmother on her mother’s side of the family. Tea-leaf reading is a wonderful and elegant form of entertainment, suitable for many time periods and venues.

Charon loves being on the road seeing new places and meeting new people. Want to catch Charon on the road for her live show? View her tour schedule here. Or, book Charon’s talent for your next event!

Zodiac Jell-O Shots for the Soul

Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 03:21:12 +0000

the following was written by guest blogger Beth–thanks beth!

When you dig deep enough you find all sorts of astrological correspondences associated with different mystic schools of thoughts. From the twelve paths in the Jewish Kabbalah to tarot cards associated with each of the signs, astrology is everywhere. Practicing my own form of mysticism Iâ€™d like to propose just one more, that of the mystic art of Jell-O Shots. Now before you laugh, this system is a very carefully thought out, taking all of ten minutes, like most good pop spiritualism. It is based on the Jell-O system of colors and flavors and the propensity of each astrological sign to enjoy them.

There is a wealth of information on the Internet on how to create Jell-o shots, from actual recipes to recommendations to containers, so I wonâ€™t bore you with the details here. Seeing that there is only one good way to down a Jell-O shot, straight up, with a sharp intake of breath, it is also appropriate to do so in a meditative state, full of the awareness of the stuff of life, while reciting your particular mantra for the experience. So mix up your iconic flavor and follow me to the path of true enlightenment, or at least a good time, now that you have the appropriate guide.

Aries–Full of fire and energy, your color is red, your flavor strawberry, reminding you of the innocence of your youth and that awful strawberry wine you used to down while trying to woo the women or when the men tried to woo you. Meditation: Slow down and pay attention and you may reduce the number of accidents you experience. You just may lower of your insurance bill as well.

Taurus-For sensual Taurus, there just isnâ€™t the right Jell-O flavor as unfortunately there is no chocolate jell, only Jell-O pudding, which does poorly as a Jell-O shot. However, with a little extra patience, with which you abound, and creativity, you can mix up clear gelatin and amaretto for a perfectly delightful Jell-O shot experience. Meditation: Why do the best things in life come with such a high price tag and when is there a sale?

Gemini–For the twins there are two options, lemon or lime, these corresponding to the two most prolific colors in your personal color pallet. Yes, Gemini, your wardrobe is just as talkative as you are, to the everlasting amusement of the people you know. Case in point, Hillary Clinton has Uranus in Gemini sitting on her Ascendant. She has this absolutely hideous yellow suit she insists on wearing. Some people just shouldnâ€™t dress themselves and this might include you. That hardly matters to you as you are just in it for the good time anyway, Gemini. Meditation: Why do people think I talk too much? And why wonâ€™t they tell me about it?

Cancer–No one deserves a delicious taste treat more, and just about no one enjoys it better than you, if you can calm that nervous stomach, that is. You take care of everyone and then wonder why no one takes care of you, leading you to speculate if anyone really loves you. Relax, Cancer. While it may not help you find true love, a Pina Colada Jell-O shot will lead you in the right direction. Meditation: Can I buy those antique lamps without my spouse finding out?

Leo-the color that represents you, your majesty, is the color of sun and the color of true money, gold. And since you are a friendly sort, welcoming all kinds of people into your sphere to serve you, pineapple is the Jell-O flavor that best represents your sun shiny personality. Meditation: What can I do to get more attention? I deserve it, donâ€™t I?

Virgo–Classic astrologers associate the color white with Virgo, seeing you are so pure and all. (Yeah, right!). And believe it or not, Jell-O has accommodated you with a special flavor, Margarita, which contains all the sweet goodness of the original. In the true spirit of Virgo, the saltiness is concealed within a pleasing picture of refinement and good taste. Just make sure you donâ€™t down too many of these or your stomach will scold you like you scold the kids. Meditation: Why does my spouse say that Iâ€™m too critical? Iâ€™ll give â€˜em a piece of my mind for that one.

Libra–Reference works are just as indecisive as you are, dear Libra, when it comes to ascribing a color to you. One site said, â€œAny color that is pleasing to the eye.â€ This only reflects your propensity for taking everyoneâ€™s sides in arguments, since you seek harmony above all things. After much consideration and experimentation, this astrologer ascribes the Jell-O flavor â€œmixed fruitâ€ to your sign, as it seeks, just as you do, to achieve harmonious blending of diverse flavors. Meditation: Why do people want me to make decisions?

Scorpio–Simmering with lifeâ€™s forbidden passions, you are symbolized by both the color black and red. This is why the flavor black cherry is tailor made for you. No stranger to the world of alternate experiences, Scorpio, you find this flavor association perhaps reminiscent of childhood cold remedies, but hey, you enjoyed those too. Meditation: How can I convince the cutie in the corner to come home with me?

Sagittarius–Your traditional color is purple, leading us to the ubiquitous grape Jell-O shot. But you are fire sign as well, as if you are not so copasetic with imbibing things reminiscent of childhood cold remedies, like our Scorpio friends. Give perky peach a try. Meditation: What excuse can I give the boss today?

Capricorn–Taciturn Saturn ruled people are not left out in the cold by our friends at Jell-O. The flavor cranberry was created just for you, with that sharp sweet tartness weâ€™ve come to know from you. Whether you are hobnobbing with the gentry or slumming with the Jones, this taste treat will make people think twice about you. Meditation: What dirt can I dig up on the boss so I can win that promotion?

Aquarius–I donâ€™t know why people keep calling you quirky. After all, Aquarius, you are a true pioneer, marching to the beat of your own drummer, showing the rest of us where the fun is to be had. While the world catches up with you, catch a berry blue Jell-O shot that will help you resonate to the forces of the Universe. Meditation: Why do people call me weird and why donâ€™t I care?

Pisces–Lovely, ephemeral Pisces deserves something as effervescent as you are. For you, dear Pisces, I recommend the flavor apricot, which is just as unusual, just as refined and just a difficult to find as you are. Meditation: Why is the boss looking for me?

Beth is a professional astrologer with over twenty years experience counseling clients in career and relationship issues. Following in the footsteps of mediocre writers who start their own religions, Beth has decided to promote spiritual enlightenment through jell shots tied to astrological associations. She promises though that there is no need to find â€œclearâ€ or that mysterious forces other than natural spirits will not take over your body. However, since Beth also promotes moderation in all things, to the vexation of her family, the use of Jell-O shots for enlightenment does not give her followers carte blanche to get blotto in the name of spiritual attainment. You can reach her at starrynightastro@aol.com for further guidance. Beth can be found at astrologymediapress.com/astrologyexplored.

intoxicated zodiacâ„¢ bachelorette party

Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 15:31:13 +0000

THE PENIS IS RULED BY SCORPIO, MASTER OF ALL THINGS SEX. hold an intoxicated zodiac bachelorette party and have a fun, sexy, creative, naughty and memorable night!

to get the party started everyone gets a gift bag containing coasters, a shot glass in their zodiac sign (for tasting gwen’s cocktails), and an infusion jar to create their own love potion that night. check out the cute tag on the jar below:

the theme of the party was scorpio’s penis pepper. long and hard, bloody shade of red, spicy yet salty, J/K, just spicy ; )

any way you slice it (ouch, sorry boys) the chili pepper is ruled by mars, scorpio’s ancient ruler now considered co-ruled by pluto.

i demonstrate how to make culinary cocktails, based on the premise of medieval astrology where plants have signs like people. we use flower waters, jam, infused liquor, oil, and all sorts of unusual ingredients for each creation.

everyone gets a baroscope shot glass in their own zodiac sign to taste the cocktails. it’s a pretty intense hour and a half mixing pisco, cacacha, vodka, gin, tequila, rum… best done on a full stomach-eat before you come.

here i am… kvetching on cocktails.

i was watching the nature channel the other day and two scorpions were getting it on. those sick bugs stung each other. with real venom. a sting too much could have killed the other one, but that’s their idea of foreplay. just a side note here that scorpios can tend towards zodiacal sadism.

this is one proud mother. just look at that infusion… i believe it contained dried hibiscus petals, fresh ginger, mexican chocolate and fresh picked nasturtium flowers. funnily, joyce is a cancer, the mothering sign. what a mix, i’d love to taste that.

how 50′s pin up this? the bride, sarah, a scorpio herself! can you tell?

what bachelorette party is complete without the official penis martini glass? good to the last drop… mmnnn….

thanks to my friend and palmreader, miss. joyce another scorpio, for helping out.

say dicktini for the camera!

thanks to amanda aries, sarah scorpio, colleen scorpio, courtney cancer, joyce cancer for being such fun students. cheers to the groom bradley (capricorn), who found his match made in heaven. cappie and scorpio are two sexual powerhouses with stamina galore. their sex will indeed be hot until death do them part.

hold an intoxicated zodiac bachelorette party!

pumkin spritzer: happy thanksgiving cancer

Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 16:11:35 +0000

go forth and gather pumpkins dear tipplers. set your infusions now so they are ready for thanksgiving dinner. and while we’re giving thanks, be sure to thank cancer for this concoction. the moon rules the pumpkin due to it’s rather hard outer shell and really soft interior, making it a cancerian fruit or vegetable. even the experts can’t decide on which!

cancers are usually careful and rarely careless. especially when it comes to their home and family. of course who doesn’t want thanksgiving dinner to go exceedingly well? but cancer wants this especially so. they NEED to make sure thanksgiving dinner is just right. well, girl, you can’t go wrong with this one. granted it’s only for the sweet tooth crowd (me). but your guests will be sucking these down hard. kind of like drinking a liquid lollipop… be sure to collect keys at the door, these tend to sneak up on you.

PUMPKIN SPRITZER
2 oz pumpkin-infused gold rum
2 oz beet syrup
cream soda (all natural type, i used boylan’s creme vanilla)

combine rum, beet syrup and stir very well. pour into ice-packed glass and top with cream soda. stir and serve.

PUMPKIN RUM: fill container with cubed pumpkin (you can leave skin on if you wish) and cover with gold rum. allow to sit for 1-2 weeks and strain.

BEET SYRUP: one of the many eclectic ingredients this giant swedish furniture store sells. who knew that beet syrup was used in ginger snap cookies!? one taste and you will see that it tastes just like a liquid gingersnap cookie. add 1 c beet syrup to 2 cups water and heat on stove until dissolved. add splash vodka and store in fridge.

happy meatless birthday cancer girl

Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 01:53:44 +0000

i know, i know, i blogged pammy pie for her birthday last year. the big one, where she proclaimed 40 to be the 20… but i can’t help but blog her again. she’s the bomb! this year she got one helluvah b’day gift… a meatless tommy lee. tommy—a typically attractive libra who just wants to go with the flow—had been rebuffed one too many times by pam. it was when lee’s thoughts flowed to vegetarianism, that he finally won her back. what better way to melt cancer’s heart than to make her personal crusade your own? she’s his. lock, stock and barrel.

ECORAZZI sums it up well, “Listen up chicks and dudes â€” if you wanna bag yourself a veggie you can try the typical flowers, candy and mushy love note route, but trust me, nothing says I want to jump your bones more than putting down the drumstick. ” so, now where’s my vegetarian prince? i’m waaaiting….

VIA ECORAZZI

zero and counting – night club reduces it’s footprint

Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 02:12:12 +0000

happy belated birthday BAR CODE. opened one year ago this past july 21, the hip london hotspot is a cancer. which means it is one of the most sensitive signs, and in this case, sensitive to the size it’s carbon footprint. it’s pretty low, due to refridgerators that open from the top (allowing warm air, not cool to escape), LED lighting (which emit less heat than conventional lighting), and natural ventilation. (i wasn’t able to find specifics on this one). now if you’re thinking of paying a visit to BAR CODE, be warned: it’s a gay club! (men, not women)

hey new york developers: are we gonna let the brits one up on this? where’s our frickin eco gay club all ready? we’re waiting…

VIA TREEHUGGER, VIA DEZEEN, VIA YOSSAWAT

OOPS, HAPPY B’DAY TO LINDSAY TOO!

Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 02:40:28 +0000

Thanks to JOE BARTENDER I realized that I hadn’t wished happy 21st! birthday to the biggest ex-imbiber crab of them all: Lindsey Lohan. Known for her alcoholic antics as much as her acting, criminal chic is hot…Did Kate’s ski trip not send her skiing all the way to the bank? Would you really be surprised if Paris was awarded the purple heart at her “Get out of jail party?” Nicole Ritchie… not the biggest thug of the bunch, but still pretty chic in the way of celebrity criminals. And Britney… well according to her Jupiter is in Sagittarius chart, she’s far from over providing us with endless gossip fodder. But back to our birthday girl, Lindsay… HAPPY 21ST TO ANOTHER COCKTAIL-LOVIN CRAB! I think THE LIQUID MUSE is onto something with her VIRGIN POP PRINCESS ON PAROLE LIBATION. Little time on the wagon, Lindsay, does a Cancer body good.

(photo credit Crystal Air)

COCKTAILS & CRABCAKES… HAPPY JULY 4TH

Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 21:08:30 +0000

I had completely forgotten that the United States of America is a Cancer! Thankfully, Molly Nagy of About.com: Astrology, reminded me of this in her weekly newsletter. Think about it… the Declaration of Independence was signed on… duh… July 4th. The birth of a nation is the same as the birth of a person or anything else for that matter. From bars to pets to plants, we all have an astrological chart and zodiac sun sign. Interestingly, the current President of the USA also happens to be a Cancer. That’s right, as if you couldn’t guess from George W. Bush’s hard-core party days, he is a Cancer. And for the most part, I’ve found that Cancer’s can drink. Hard. For a more complete description of the States’ Cancerian traits, read Molly’s post.

NATAL CHART OF THE UNITED STATES:

(Image credit: Astrodienst)

In honor of our liquor-lovin, crabby friends, UV VODKA has sent me some free (as in born free or die mofo) infused vodkas and cocktail recipes…

BLUE BOMBSICLE
1 part UV Blue
3 parts lemonade
Serve over ice in a lowball glass.

CHERRY FIRECRACKER
1 part UV Cherry
2 parts cranberry juice
A squeeze of fresh lime
Shake with ice, strain into high ball glass with ice and garnish with a lime.

Now don’t go blowing any fingers off with those roman candles. DRINK SAFE or stick to the sparklers : ) Not naming any names, Steve.

40 is the new 20… happy july 1st

Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac — Sun, 01 Jul 2007 15:13:52 +0000

Can my vegan heroine get any more awesome? I really didn’t think that was possible. Until she did. Considering i’m on the wrong side of 30, I’ll be the new 20 before you know it. Ouch, but i gotta love pammy pie’s cheeky wisdom. Happy Birthday to her, and two other July 1st babies as well: Princess Diana and my lil’ sis, Rachael. The crab is the sensitive sign. Both to other’s unfortunate plights, and their own prickly feelings too. Though they are easily offended, they just happen to be the best listeners of the zodiac. Whenever I have an angst-ridden problem, it’s usually my sister Rachael, whose number I end up dialing. The crab is sincerely understanding. Like, Pamela, and her dedication to speak on behalf of those who can’t speak for themselves. And thanks to Diana, worldwide attention was brought to the then-obscure cause, mine-clearing. I can’t believe it’s been ten years since her death. I remember exactly where I was, and what I was doing when I heard the tragic news. (camping trip, upstate new york, perusing a junk shop, staticky radio in the background.) Cancers take life pretty seriously, yet have a well developed sense of dry humour, and that’s why Capricorns get along so famously with them. If you look at the signs of the people in your life, a pattern will emerge. more than likely, you’ll see the same signs appear again and again. Myself – I tend to always date Aries – who are painfully toxic to a cautious cappie like moi. I guess I’m drawn to their fun and fiery aura. But like that sexy smoldering cigarette, they just ain’t good for me. I’m swearing you off Aries. For good this time too. Cancers, Pisces, Scorpios, Capricorns, Taurus’ & Libras tend to make up the majority of my close circle… but, enough about me. let’s talk about me, and you. check out our monthly charts at a few of our favorite places:

north-node.com
astrologyzone.com
mysticmedusa.com
astrostyle.com

Get your Gil The Crab merchandise here.

photo credit: pinkisthenewblog

photo credit: nortonknatchbull

read an ODE TO DIANA