i’ve always had a soft spot for oprah. me and the rest of america, right? ever since oprah’s exposure of the beef industry, i’ve respected her for taking on the hugely powerful business of cattle, while also being a compassionate and successful businesswoman. GO GIRL. which is more than i can say for another successful businesswoman’s prosperous dalliance with the beef industry. yup, lots of good stuff you never knew about hillary out there…

last summer, i attended the NYIGF, a trade show in new york city. i spied a mammoth-sized martini glass and had to make it mine. ALL MINE. nothing would stop me from aquiring this awesome piece of plastic. except OPRAH that is. i made an appointment to return to the exhibitor’s booth at the end of the show and pick up my huge martini glass… i was so exited!!! however, i arrived to be told that the OPRAH peeps had beat me to the punch and swiped it right out from under me. i was astonished… how could they possibly think they would benefit more from giving it to OPRAH, than to me. the nerve. life is so cruel… oprah, how could you? (i finally did get myself a mammoth martini glass. it took a few months of incessant nagging, but all worth it : )

ok, fast forward to now… i just found out that OPRAH has purchased - yes, paid for lock, stock and barrel - her astrological constellation and ruling planet (for an undisclosed 8 digit figure). hell, i didn’t even know they were up for sale! to repeat, OPRAH owns AQUARIUS and URANUS. the latter of which she likes to refer to as MYANUS®. whada sense of humour, that OPRAH. in january 2006, she unveiled her “birthday present to herself” in front of an all-aquarian audience that was later presented with AQUARIAN gemstone bracelets and horoscopes written by OPRAH’S personal astrologer, Steadfast. (who knew?) so between her love of large glassware, expensive planets and fruity tipples, OPRAH is a serious zodiacal intoxicant!

here are some of OPRAH’S favorite liquid things:
OPRAH’S FAVORITE POMEGRANATE MARTINI RECIPE
OPRAH’S LEGENDS LEMON DROP MARTINI

happy birthday paris. i never thought i’d grow to like paris, but none the less, i unexplainably kind of do now, where i never did before. it all started with her seemingly sporadic fondness for elephants… it’s easy to make me your loyal fan - just align yourself with any animal welfare cause, and i’m yo’ bitch. it’s just as easy to make me your enemy, by doing the reverse.

like say, hillary clinton, who imbibed in some very profitable insider trading. she probably used half of what she made to shut the media up. but it happened… about ten years ago she turned $1,000 into $100,00 on some innocent factory farmed beef cows in less than a year. she should have been sharing a cell with poor martha. that why peeps, hillary is a lyer, and if you vote for her, you’ve been swindled. obama is the shit - vote for him. BTW, if you vote republican you deserve to piss warm beer for the rest of your life.

ok, back to paris… i believe paris hilton is the epitomy of aquarian energy. for starters, she’s a blond. and as i’ve said, if constellations had hair, aquarius would be a blonde. she’s completely misunderstood for an utter bimbo, which is of her own doing of course. however, the inability to coherently express oneself is an aquarian trait, and i believe paris wears this one well. this bubbly blonde may have gotten screwed out of her inheritance by gramps (i can’t blame him one bit), but she’s only got more gigs lined up. just one of them is her new champagne endorsement, where “paris is selling sex in a very tasteful way.” how interesting is it that this aquarius is selling champagne in a can? aquarius is the sign of strange and you can’t get stranger than that. why, she’s gonna have more money than her gramps at the rate she’s going! and if she continues along her new “do good for the world” path, then who are we to complain? alledgedly, a percentage of sales from the new RICH PROSECCO champagne, will be donated to charity. cut her some slack peeps, she’s not as awful as she seems! vote: people for paris : )

if you haven't tasted the libational revelation taking the spirit world by storm, enlighten yourself, and do it as soon as you can. st germaine is quite frankly the best liqueur i have ever tasted. such a special blend could only be inspired by an extratroidinary person. and from the research i’ve found, the count de st germain was just that. no ordinary human, he has alledgedly ascended beyond the earth plane, but does come back for kicks every now and then. unlike the rest of us, he has learned all his earthly lessons and needn’t be further reincarnated. when he does, it is to inspire and teach us… evident in the brilliance contained within every wonderful sip of st germain. the makers of chambord were influenced by something out of this world to create a flavor that is not of this earth. today, there are many places and things that bear his name. google st germain and you’ll come up with much more more than a liqueur. but who exactly was larger than life persona that was beloved by all that met him? wiki states that he has been many people over a few hundred years(which would lend fodder to the reincarnation arguement, all though some say he drank a special elixer to stay alive that whole time). he was:

***the son of Francis II Rákóczi, the Prince of Transylvania, by Rákóczi’s first wife

***the illegitimate son of Maria Anna of Pfalz-Neuburg, the widow of Charles II of Spain

***the son of the king of Portugal (presumably John V)

***he has been described as a courtier, adventurer, charlatan, inventor, alchemist, pianist, violinist and amateur composer, but is best known as a recurring figure in the stories of several strands of occultism.

***and he is believed to have many magical powers such as the ability to teleport, levitate, walk through walls, influence people telepathically, etc.

***In the New Age beliefs regarding him, St. Germain is always associated with the color violet and the jewel amethyst;
Germain is known is esoteric circles as “The Cosmic Master of the Age of Aquarius.”