Care for a Kangentini?

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Sunday, July 11, 2010

fragoli liqueur: strawberry stars forever

fragoli-mainsmallwhat i love most about FRAGOLI STRAWBERRY LIQUEUR is the cute little strawberries floating in the bottle. they look like little strawberry stars, floating in a sea of passionate strawberry love… yummy!

it’s unfortunate that the beautiful red hue is augmented with dye not from natural sources (aka oil). i recently learned that italy banned the use of cochineal beetles to provide color in food-grade products. as this colorful libation is from italy, i guess FRAGOLI didn’t have a choice. but in this time of getting back to nature, it’s ironic that we’re increasingly expected to consume toxins. i wish they’d stop doctoring up our food and drink with dye, sulfur and god knows what. personally, i’d rather consume a little less color and a possess little more health!

but, hey, the good news is that FRAGOLI’S strawberries are wild-picked––hence free from pesticide. (750 ml $36 / 375 ml $20 / prosecco gift basket $30)

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac





Saturday, June 26, 2010

care for a kangentini?

shots-smallI’ve preached the importance of water in cocktails before (see my post here). dale degroff feels a quality drink starts with ice made from the purest water. chef ellen post allocates a full chapter in her cookbook to hydration: “Stay Hydrated––Always.” i’ve always felt water is as important to us as oxygen and sleep, and in my humble experience i found there’s no water like kangen water.

There are hundreds of waters available today, all promoting a unique feature from some sacred spring from which it sprung, to anti-oxidant qualities rivaling that of acai, pomegranate and cranberry put together, to the extreme eco-friendliness of recycled sewage or tap water. my good friend jan swears by Jennifer anniston’s smart water. world renowned Masaru emoto happens to market his own brand of energized water as well, which i’m sure works. if you think for a moment, i’m sure you know AT LEAST one person that has invested in a water ionizer. personally, i’m hopelessly in love with the water from my parent’s upstate NY well, so much so that i’d schlep 20 gallons at a time back to manhattan with me. the bottom line is that we love water, and obviously believe the quality of our water matters.
machineheart

during my trunk show at henri bendel i met a doctoral student who was familiar with kangen water—he said it was an amazing product. i was surprised he knew of it, as most new yorkers have never heard of it. i naturally assumed he had his own kangen water machine, but he told me he didn’t. surprised, i asked why not? he told me he doesn’t need one, because he transmutes his own water! Ok, well, if you are transmuting chemical-laden city water into healthy vibrant water with only the power of your mind, or some other newfangled device, don’t bother finishing this article… you don’t need a kangen machine! But if you’re like me–not fully able to alchemize lead into gold just yet–then read on my Neanderthal friend, read on…

i first learned that i had an acidity problem 1 1/2 years ago. doctor mony vital, explained to me that i could simply alkalize my body by cutting out the highly acidic foods such as EVERYTHING I SUBSISTED ON! as a vegan, my pickins were all ready slim, and now i had to nix such dietary staples such as citrus, tomatoes, soy, mushroom, white rice, dairy, garlic, coffee and that little old thing called S-T-R-E-S-S. it took over a year to accomplish this herculean feat, but for the most part, i’ve done it. (contact mony for a free one-time health analysis—it will blow your socks off. yinyangwatch mony’s groundbreaking video here.) no sooner of course, did i kick those devilish foods, when i learned about the secret shortcut called KANGEN WATER. to think i could have just been drinking this water the whole time–it’s good i found out about the kangen water after i gave up my favorite goodies or i’m pretty sure i’d never have done it.

the fact is that kangen water can FAST TRACK you (and your pets) to an alkaline body and better health. ideally, you’ll want to eat healthier and drink healthier. but in this article, we’re just talking water… If you don’t know that acid is a serial killer, well let me be the first to tell you. Acid is one of the major routes of disease: both mental and physical. Our bodies are 70%-90% water. In light of this scientific fact, There should be no question that each of us is our own walking fish tank. Keeping fish (especially tropical) requires regular testing of the tank water to ensure the safety of the fish. If the water is too acidic, the fish will sicken or die. When this happens, the entire tank must be emptied and refilled with fresh, neutral water. If we treated our bodies more like the fish tanks they were, we’d be quicker to identify, and even prevent, disease. changeObviously we can’t exactly change the water in our body-tanks, but we can pump fresh, high-quality water into them. just know that like men, all water is not created equal; and all water ionizers are not created equal either. i’ll get into the specifics of that later…

MY EXPERIENCE WITH KANGEN WATER THUS FAR:
i was introduced to kangen water only a few months ago––in that short time i’ve seen astounding results. read on, dear reader…

1. i have noticed that my healthier friends don’t usually find the water immediately special after drinking it. but my less healthy friends are almost instantaneously and ostensibly helped by the water. i’ll admit that as a reasonably healthy person i felt nothing special about the water when i first drank it. but my distributor friend insisted that it was special, and my mom even told me that she’d noticed a boost in her energy when she tried it. hmmnnn… i was determined to prove kangen’s power or not! so, when i fell ill this winter, the perfect opportunity to test the healing power of the water presented itself. I’m going to attempt to maintain an ounce of my privacy and spare you the precise nature of my affliction. Let it be said though, that after a week or so of drinking kangen water, my little problem went away. when i stopped drinking the water, my little problem came back. that’s when i first realized that there was something about this water…

sasha12. My good friend jan (smart water fan above) has a 14 year old dog who was bedridden—or more accurately–floor-ridden. sweetie wouldn’t get up, wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t drink… and it had been three days. jan was thinking about the unthinkable, if you catch my drift. I decided to bring sweetie some kangen water as a last resort. no sooner had i placed the bowl of water on the floor in front of sweetie, than she started lapping it up like she’d never seen water before. jan’s cat even tried to get in on the action and sip some up for herself, even though i made it perfectly clear that this was dog, not cat, water. well within five minutes sweetie was practically running laps around the apartment. seriously, this was a miracle, and i had seen it firsthand. sweetie then ate, and went for a walk with me outside. granted, sweetie was falling down every now and then, and running in an odd circular pattern—but for someone who was supposed to be “passing over” any minute now–she was doing awesome. jan bought a kangen machine from me the next day. She claims it makes her 72 year old hair feel like silk, and that she has more energy too. recently, i paid jan and cookie a visit. as a test, i offered cookie some tap water, which she turned her nose up at. when i offered her freshly made kangen water she drank half a bowl without taking a rest. swear. jan told me cookie she is regaining strength in her back legs, but she still has difficulty getting around. jan’s fellow seniors at the center she dines at daily, have remarked that her hair looks fabulous. coffeesmall(credit) they all to want to know what she is doing to make it so beautiful! jan also shared with me that she has never been able to grow her nails long as they chip and break. she now has healthy, long, hard nails! she has no desire to drink any other type of water, except her kangen—she’s completely off her smart water (sorry jennifer). one last observation is that jan started brewing her coffee with kangen. it should be noted that jan is quite the coffee connoisseur to say the least. jan’s mouth almost exploded when she tasted her kangen coffee… the flavor was beyond description. she claims she’d never tasted coffee that delicious in her life: wow. i personally have noticed that jan has much more stamina when i visit her. personally, i find the difference in her energy level astounding.

3. most recently, i met someone with Sciatica, and i just happened to have a gallon of fresh kangen water on me. i’d heard this water was particularly good for relieving this type of pain, so i offered it to her… and went about my business, returning to check in on my new friend a few hours later. when i returned she was in awe as she explained to me that the mind-numbing pain in her leg was completely gone. i had witnessed yet another kangen miracle. this person also claimed that it gave her an incredible energy boost.
PH-SCALEwhite

4. jan’s friend jennifer had a severe urinary tract infection that needed treatment with cypro. her doctor forgot to write the script and jennifer was forced to endure another night in agony. jan ran some kangen water over to her, instructing her to drink it as if it were medicine. it was only a few hours later that jennifer called jan to say she was still in some pain, but to a much less degree. in fact, she went on to tell jan, she had actually gotten up and cleaned the house and went shopping–something she hadn’t been able to do in weeks! again, she commented not only on the immediate and lasting burst of energy, but the clarity of thought that the kangen water gave her.

5. i gave some kangen water to my mom’s friend, who has a high blood pressure problem. she drank the water for two days and got her blood pressure tested. it was lower all ready! coincidence? i don’t believe in them…

so peeps, this has been my short and collective personal experience thus far. and i can assure you i’m so not making any of this stuff up. through others, and from others, i could recount endless stories that I’ve heard along these same lines… tales involving horses, dogs and cats, tales involving humans with autism, depression, insomnia, asthma, heartburn, arthritis, krohn’s, ulcers, gastric problems, heart disease, pet and other types of allergies, kidney stones, skin conditions, gout, candidiasis, fungus, gastronomy problems, sarcoidosis, diabetes, cancer, weight problems, prostate and colon problems, auto-immune diseases, brain fog and more… they are all tales of varying success. my apologies for discussing nasty stuff on a cocktail blog, but i feel compelled to advertise the extreme medicinal nature of this water, so forgive me for being gross!

SO HOW DOES KANGEN WATER WORK?drshinyaThe name kangen is Japanese for “return to the origin,” which describes the fact that kangen converts our now toxic water back into its natural, pristine state. i’ve been told that the actual technology for the kangen machine was used by the Russians, long before japan capitalized on it. If this is the truth, I say THANK YOU, to the japanese for bringing this miraculous technology to the public! There are too many suppressed ideas, technologies and inventions out there. the japanese studied the healing water at the spring of lourdes, france, famous for it’s life-enhancing quality. it was found to have a high concentration of hydrogen, which means it was really alkalized! the structure of the famous water at lourdes was emulated and in 1965 kangen water was born. the inventor, Dr. Shinya is no quack. he treats the japanese royal family, at least one US president and many politicians and celebrities. he’s been professor of surgery at albert einstein college of medicine, chief of endoscopy at beth israel medical center and is the founder of the shinya medical clinic. Kangen water FINALLY arrived in the states in 1995 in california (of course), and has only been available on the east coast since 2004. available the world over, a new office is opened every three months—in a worldwide recession. so now you CAN drink the water in mexico!

The kangen machine hooks up to a regular sink and cycles the tap water across electro magnetic plates, which replace the acidity with alkalinity. This highly alkalized water only lasts for 48-72 hours. After that, it returns to regular water. While It won’t hurt you to drink stale water, it certainly won’t help either. This two-day shelf life is why kangen water cannot be sold in stores, but can only be served fresh. Recently, during my trunk show at henri bendel I had a Japanese customer. (The Japanese LOVE all things zodiac —and they especially adore intoxicated zodiac candles!) I asked my Japanese customer if she had heard of I asked if she had one in her home and she said no, whenever she wanted some she would just go to café where she could buy a glass. not only is it regularly sold in restaurants, kangen water and bottleshe said yes, of course! but every major hospital in japan prescribes kangen water to its patients. This is a medical grade machine, not to be confused with a regular water ionizer. The platinum and titanium plates are manufactured in korea. Unlike the other water ionizers on the market, it’s not made in a Chinese factory that specializes in manufacturing refridgerator parts.

ECO TRAGEDY: read my post on plastic bottle art here. not only are plastic beverage bottles made from oil, but two million of them bottles are used in the US every five minutes. it’s disgusting that most of them are never recycled. when i travel, if i can’t recycle my trash on the road i will bring it home with me. my friends call me a fanatic, but i’ve been called worse. if you are like me, an avid recycler, remember that even recycling takes an immense amount of resources! now phylates are showing up in cord blood! let me repeat that: plastic has been found in children’s blood-not to mention every subtle and unseen link of our ecosystem. obviously, recycling isn’t quite cutting it. this is just one more reason to make your own, homemade, bottled water! PS: to sterilize your bottles, simply rinse them in kangen 2.5 electrolyte water! easy peasy…

WISE INVESTMENT: the fact that most people spend more money on bottled water than on gas for their cars is reason enough to buy a kangen machine. $2 per day = $730 per year = $5110 in 7 yrs. so you see, a machine pays for itself over time… kangen is not an expense but an investment.

BELOW I CONDUCTED SOME KANGEN TESTS FOR YOUR PERUSAL AND AMAZEMENT:
acid-test-black

DROPPING ACID: i tested the kangen using drops. for all you chemistry buffs out there, i used a bottle composed of ethanol, phenolphthalein, bromothymol, blue and methyl red:

1) KANGEN WATER turns purple with an acidity of -900. that is hyper-alkalized!
2) WELL WATER turns blue—the best you can hope for without the benefit of an enhancing device such as a kangen machine.
3) VODKA (smirnoff) tested neutral and turned green. not acidic. not alkaline. not bad—after all, it is vodka! (different brands will turn different colors—i guess it has to do with the original source of ingredients used.)
4. SODA is off the charts with an acidity of +400 and a bright orange color. ironically, many “health drinks” such as gatorade are just as bad!
5. BOTTLED WATER that is highly acidic with a color similar to the toxic soda above. (every brand differs in its acidity.)
6. MORE BOTTLED WATER that actually promotes its “anti-oxidant” qualities on the label!
7. TEQUILA tested super acidic, but again, different brands of alcohol have different levels of alkalinity and acidity.

TEA BAGGED:
tea

the second awesome feature of kangen water is that the molecular density of the molecules is restructured in the alkalizing process, making them small enough to fit through our cell membranes. have you ever drunk a big glass of water and felt like it was just sitting there in your stomach? that’s because it was! and that’s why you might still thirst, even after several glasses of water. to demonstrate this amazing feature i placed in tea bag in a cup of ROOM TEMPERATURE water: the glass in the middle contained fresh kangen water and the others contained various bottled and tap waters. well, wouldn’t you know that the tea bag in the kangen water turned the water a pretty dark brown, and the tea bags in the other waters stayed a light shade of brown. with kangen water, you can have a cup of tea without even boiling water! the penetration of the water is so intense it can permeate a tea bag in cold water! wow. that blew me away.

LUBIN’ UP:
oil

on the left you will clearly see a mixture of oil and tap water. as usual, it does not mix, but the oil sits on the surface of the water.
on the right i combined oil with KANGEN WATER. it immediately emulsified the oil! you will see that it looks cloudy…

2

DIRTY DIRTY:
kangen electrolyte water 11.5 will take the pesticide off produce. yup, you heard me right… if you can’t afford to buy organic, you can now escape the pesticide, herbicide, wax and who knows what crap they soak our food in anyway!

to test this quality, i soaked a tomato in tap water in the glass on the left. you will see that it is perfectly clear water. on the right, i soaked a tomato in kangen water and you will see that it is brownish in color. that is what the kangen water stripped away! it should also be noted that all fruits and veggies cleaned in kangen water taste better too. i guess it makes sense that pesticide does reduce the flavor of the fruit to which it’s adhered, no? incredible as it sounds, the restructured kangen molecule is reduced to 5 or 6 atoms down from 12-15. thus, it is able to really “get in there,” and you are able to enjoy relatively poison-free produce.

KANGEN ACIDIC WATER HAS A PLETHORA OF PRICELESS USES:
another feature of kangen water is the machine’s ability to produce not only alkaline water, but acidic water too. This highly acidified water (Strong Electrolyte Acid Water pH 2.6) may be used to sanitize surfaces, and can replace all the cleaning agents in your home. talk about green cleaning!

Amazing as it sounds, acid kangen water is increasingly used in wound treatment to sterilize infected areas. salmonella? gone! here is a list of organisms that are all killed within 30 seconds of contact wtih 2.6 kangen: bookHepatitis B virus, Tuberculosis, AIDS virus, Staphylococcus, Salmonella, Typhoid fever, Candida albicans, Pneumonia, Bread mold, Bathtub mold, Red yeast, Red color on plumbing fixture, Athletes foot, E. coli. for a complete and more specific list click here. after 72 hours, kangen water returns to its previous state. It is not harmful to the environment, or any living thing. dentists have started using this water for routine cleanings. and amazingly, this water smells just like bleach!

if you have a rash of any sort apply kangen water 11.5 to the affected area you will see results within one month and likely shorter. no more need to buy creams and medications! feel like you’re coming down with something? rinse your mouth out not with salt water, but with kangen electrolyte 11.5 water. this machine has a substantial variety of uses beyond drinking water.

in fact, I’m certain that one day someone will publish a book titled, 101 uses for kangen water. But for now, word of mouth has given me several ideas. Personally, I think a kangen water martini is in order!

ALTERNATIVE USES FOR KANGEN WATER: (besides those listed above)
thermal conduction: kangen’s quick transfer of heat saves time and energy
great for outing yellow toilets stains with 11.5 and then 2.5
ice made with kangen makes cocktails tastier and healthier 9.5
food cooked with kangen 9.5 has more flavor
cut flowers last longer in kangen 95.
houseplants thrive when watered with kangen 9.5
pets love kangen 9.5, it’s as good for them as it is for us
degrease with kangen 11.5
remove mildew with kangen 2.5
wash clothes to clean more thoroughly and whites whiter with kangen 11.5
teeth, when brushed with kangen 2.5, become whiter
add kangen 11.5 to bath water
use kangen 5.5 (beauty water) as an aftershave
when making pasta and tempura substitute kangen 5.5 (beauty water) for oil
enhance athletic performance with kangen 9.5

gwen-med BEAUTY WATER: here i am, getting my beauty on. mist with electrolyte 5.5, an astringent. because of the water’s exceptionally penetrative nature, it is especially hydrating for the skin.

FOR MORE INFO ON KANGEN WATER VISIT THESE SITES:

if you feel like making the schlep to orange county choppers, there is a weekly kangen water meeting held in the hampton inn opposite it. every wednesday night at 7pm, come and have your mind blown by this breath taking demonstration.

kangen4pets.com (effects on pets & other animals)

https://sites.google.com/site/switchtokangen/ (medicinal effects on everything from brain disorders to allergies.)

kangenwatergreen.com (environmental benefits)

http://kangenworldteam.wordpress.com/ (personal testimonials)

www.kangenwaterreport.com (disinfectant test results)

phwaterforhealth.com (creative ways to use kangen)

articlesbase.com (kangen beauty water)

http://enzymefactor.com/ (kangen inventor, dr. hiromi shinya’s newest invention)

mywholywater.com (watch video)

sharethiswater.com (free ebook)

waterforyourhealth.com (free DVD)

mywholywater.info (my distribution group site)

enagic.com (corporate site)

PHONE CONFERENCE:
why are americans listed 38th out of 40 countries for health and longevity? (we’re below cuba). japan is #1 on the list! dr. dave carpenter explains why…
when: thursdays 9pm est
phone: 512.879.2059
pin: 388905#

whymolecules.com (dr. dave carpenter also advocates asea)

if you’d like to buy a kangen machine, i sell them too! drop me a line at gwen@intoxicatedzodiac.com to arrange purchase…

(DON’T SUE ME ; ) these statements and claims have not been evaluated by the fda. this product is not intended to treat, cure, prevent or diagnose anything. follow up care with your health care provider is recommended.)

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac




Tuesday, May 11, 2010

the cocktail sword: charon’s cat toy cocktail

charon-smallSpring is in full force now that I’ve trekked from the desert back across the continental divide. I’ve watched trees go from buds to fresh green leaf, plants from bulbs and shoots to full flower and animals grow amorous to the point of being somewhat careless with life and limb. With the exception of the suicidal animal tendencies, it is difficult NOT to feel inspired to do something of the same thing. Love is definitely in the air, and if you are a fellow allergy sufferer, it is also in your sinuses. It is the time of year that makes me grateful for the hairlessness of my cats.

Yes, cats, plural. We have a new addition here in the Silver Twinkie, and he is a very, very gregarious red-headed Libra with a Sagittarius Ascendant. We’ve named him Cesare.
new-cat
He’s into absolutely everything, with all of his senses, and wants to get up close and personal with all things new, be they people, food or other sundry items found in the Airstream. He’ll make a toy out of anything at hand and never gives up trying to play with our resident Virgo, our dear, sweet Brundlefly.

To her credit, Brundlefly has been reasonably tolerant of the new addition to the family, not biting hard enough to leave marks and only hissing twice or three times per day. Her Scorpio Ascendant has puffed her up with jealousy, so I’m careful to give her all the loving to which she’s become accustomed, and then some. She’s so very much the embodiment of her sign right now that one feels very privileged when she comes and sits in one’s lap, even moreso if she then begins to purr.

Cesare is, of course, oblivious. He’s very, very busy figuring things out and just really doesn’t wish to be bothered until he’s done with whatever he’s investigating, playing with or sniffing to within an inch of its life. His new life is an endless series of amusing items to be befriended and won over and this includes Brundlefly, who, aside from us, is the center of his Universe. He loves her, wants to play with her, snuggles up to her when chilly or sleepy or simply feeling amorous in his neutered-male sort of way.

She, for her part, is quite clear that all of this activity this will take place on her terms and on her terms only. As I write this, the negotiations are ongoing.
charon-cat
The contrast in personalities is making me painfully aware of my own tendencies for a short temper and overly critical point of view. I watch Brundlefly growl and hiss and generally expend an enormous amount of energy on accentuating the negative points of the new addition. It makes the times she accepts his snuggling, or seeks him out for a snuggle during a mid-afternoon catnap marathon seem positively effortless and carefree. In turn, I examine my own habitual routines of doing just that, ignoring the beauty of the paradise about me, wherever we may happen to be, and instead concentrating on the one semi-annoying piece of news received in that week’s mail drop. More damaging still, I watch Best Beloved wilt with resignation as this ongoing cycle generates more negativity and less joy in the moments we share out here on the road.

It’s enough to make me come to this month’s column with a great big Mea Culpa and an apology for Best Beloved that I know won’t make up for anything in the long run. But Cesare, who is worming him way beneath my arm and shoulder at this very moment, has a lesson for me in all of this: Persistence in Positivity. No matter how many times I place him on the floor, he is back up on my keypad, purring, ready to engage and play. No matter how many times Brundlefly swats him away, he finds a different vantage point from which to stalk and pounce in an attempt to begin games anew. No matter how cold it gets at night he snuggles contentedly beside us both, a low rumble always in his chest. No matter how harshly we call his name to chide him for playing with the garbage r some other such nonsense, he responds with a raised tail, wide trusting eyes and a loud, steady purr.

In short, he is all joy, all the time. And I could do with his reminder to stick with my initial thoughts and impressions of the spring season, to follow his example of striving to find the positive in every moment, even if it is fleeting and rare, and greet my days and my Best Beloved with persistent affirmations of joy in the moment and with the company.

It is on this note, dear readers, that I give you a very simple and delicious recipe for a springtime cocktail that I have affectionately named the Cat Toy. Enjoy with someone you love who loves you back with an unconditional joy that reminds you to savor every moment of every beautiful day.cat-toy

CAT TOY
1 part Triple Sec or Orange Cointreau
Splash of vanilla vodka
2 parts pineapple juice
1 part sour mix* (Make your own! MUCH better than purchased!)
1 part orange juice

I garnish this with a piece of fruit, an umbrella and a gummi worm, the combination of which truly resembles a moderately expensive cat toy.

*SOUR MIX: a mixture of 50% simple syrup (equal parts sugar/water) and 50% fresh squeezed clear citrus (lemon or lime)

Enjoy!

charon-sword-largerCheers~Charon, The Most Dangerous Beauty Alive
theswordswallowers.com
oddangel.com

Charon Henning is one of a handful of female sword swallowers in the world today. She’s performed on carnival midways and at wine tastings, on theater stages and grassy lots.

Charon also reads tea leaves professionally, a skill she inherited from her grandmother on her mother’s side of the family. Tea-leaf reading is a wonderful and elegant form of entertainment, suitable for many time periods and venues.

Charon loves being on the road seeing new places and meeting new people. Want to catch Charon on the road for her live show? View her tour schedule here. Or, book Charon’s talent for your next event!

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac



Saturday, May 8, 2010

barenjager honey liqueur: as sweet as honey

honeyi love bees. while they might fly around like mad little geminis, i believe they are truly capricornian in nature. as a goat myself, perhaps that is where my fondness for them stems. their byproduct, honey, is ruled by venus and is therefore a libra or taurus. so now that we’ve got the zodiac angle covered, let’s talk about honey, bees, and booze…

barenjager honey liqueur is like spiked honey, straight from the hive. and i would know, as i was lucky enough to eat it straight from the hive when i was a kid. yup, i grew up surrounded by bee hives; my parents were apiarists. the bees were harmless—i used to actually pet their fuzzy backs, just to prove they were.

the downside to having 20 beehives in your backyard of course, was getting stung on a semi regular basis. because the lawn was perpetually blooming with some sort of wildflower—be it clover, buttercup, dandelion, you name it—the bees were constantly landing on the lawn to gather pollen. and because the lawn was our barefooted playground, standing on an unlucky bee a few times a year—and getting stung—was unavoidable. please note that the bees would never, EVER sting out of hostility. even if a—new to the world of bees—friend happened to swat at them. they would fly away, not looking for a fight. all they wanted was a queen to worship, a hive to call home, and flowers to pollinate. bee

did you know that when a bee does sting, it is a suicidal act for them? the bottom half of its body is left along with the stinger—so they think twice before pulling the trigger. bees aren’t sting happy, because they aren’t anxious to die. this is not the case with hornets or yellow jackets, who tend to give honey bees a bad name due to mistaken identity. those ill-tempered imposters can sting over and over again—and not produce an ounce of honey. of course with the new africanized killer honey bee around now, it’s a whole new ball game… all the money honey in the world wouldn’t convince me to pet one of those angry insects. luckily we don’t have to contend with them up north.

which brings us back again to this delectable substance, barenjager honey liqueur. barenjager translated from german means “bear hunter,” which is what hunters used to lure the bears with. i could do without the cruel and antiquated logo on the bottle’s label. and as cute as the plastic bee hive-shaped cap is, it is not recyclable, which is a problem. other than that the packaging is a really cute basket weave type of thing, and after all, it’s the taste that counts. and the taste is WOW, SWEET AS HONEY!

BARENJAGER HONEY, $28.00+

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac



Saturday, May 1, 2010

rotten little animals: book stars alcoholic bird

RLAan alcoholic bird—a blue jay to be precise—saves the day in this off colour comedy featuring a highly personified animal film crew. author kevin shamel’s impressive imagination conjures up the likes of shittin’ rats, zombie cats, drunk birds, horny rats, masochistic pigs, evil dogs, and cinematographic chickens. all in one book. with the exception of the few non-evil critters who finally manage to save the day–and the one token innocent human–every creature in this book is a rotten little animal. this book is not for the faint of heart, but for those who appreciate a touch of dark humor and the fact that animals are much more like people than anyone realizes. i highly recommend this book—i was glued to the pages from start to finish. ROTTEN LITTLE ANIMALS $9.95

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac

shaken in Animals, Books


Saturday, March 20, 2010

join celebrity pet photographer at new york’s taj for FREE pet fundraiser!

pugJoin Celebrity Pet Photographer Jim Dratfield for drinks at new york’s TAJ, this wednesday.

Jim Dratfield’s Petography® specializes in fine art photography of pets and people with their pets. Jim has done photo commissions for the likes of Jennifer Aniston, Charlize Theron, Bebe Neuwirth, Henry Kissinger, Billy Joel and Elton John to name a few. Jim is the author of ten books including, Pugnation: The Bark is Back! His work has been featured on ABC’s 20/20, The View, Oprah’s O. Magazine, Instyle and Town & Country.

***free chair massages will be offered by one of New York’s most talented massage therapists, Brian Boyce, LMT!

***Meet the elegant and glamorous ladies of TOW (Tall Outstanding Women) who will be present all night long selling raffle tickets. Minimum height requirement for group members: 6 feet!

Proceeds donated to the AC&C (ny animal care + control) to help new york’s unwanted pets.

View additional details here. RSVP Here

TAJ: 48 W 21st St Between 5th & 6th Ave / TIME: 6-10 pm

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac



Friday, March 12, 2010

ghetto glogg: black out drink of choice

darkthis little tale should make you feel better about your life:

after an exhausting week manning my booth at the nyigf, i arrived home sweet home to find that my cats had all come down with tapeworm. spending about 2 days disinfecting every surface in the house i then came to discover that they had roundworm too. awesome. repeat. since half of my cats are 17 plus year old geriatrics, this infestation didn’t sit too kindly with their antique systems. they’ve still not quite recovered. between pill popping (or jamming), enemas, specialized diets, quarantined litter boxes, ridiculously unnatural shedding, and you don’t even want to hear what else, i’ve become head nurse in a feline infirmary…

potnow i guess the houseplants were feeling neglected from all this sudden attention the four-legged furballs were getting, so they made a play to get some of gwen’s lovin’ for themselves. they went and caught a raging case of mealy bugs–YAH! my fave : ( if you’ve never encountered mealy bugs, well you just don’t know what you’re missing. i’ll spare you the details.

it was around this time that the inclement weather (light snow) caused a power outage for 1 1/2 days. not too unusual for these here parts… but the electric did come back on, and i jumped in that shower faster than you can say glogg, turned the heat up to 85 degrees, made food on the stove (as opposed to the bbq) and checked my email. i was as happy as a pig in shit.
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and then the shit hit the fan, and a tree brought the power wire down. utopia equals game over. i needed alcohol and i needed it now. but as you might imagine, i’d grown weary of chilled cocktails—so i decided to try my hand at swedish cuisine, and attempt the traditional libation known as glogg, or in this particular case, ghetto glogg. best prepared in 45 degrees with a flashlight and gloves. wirei managed to scrounge up some brandy, red wine, honey, anise, cardamon and cloves in total darkness and throw them on the grill. i almost threw myself on there too. though tasty, the ghetto glogg was mcdonalds hot. i threw in a snowball and went to bed. crawling underneath my 16 covers, with my 16 cats, and my cup o’ ghetto glogg, i vowed not to leave the second floor of the house… because guess what? heat really does rise. now was as good a time as any to read my tarot cards… drawing the devil card for my immediate future, things were decidedly not looking up. worried, but resigned i finally passed out. i woke to 2 feet of snow–and counting–and 3 trees blocking the driveway. damn… should have made my escape while i had the chance. now i was trapped (devil) and had to find someone with a chain saw asap. every friend i called was busy with their own disaster. i was screwed. thank god for the neighbor i’d never met who was out walking his dog as i desperately tried to free tree branches from their snow tombs. this earth angel came back with his chain saw, and as soon as the trees were cleared the plow truck showed and i high taled it outta there. it wasn’t until 6 days later that i regained access! S I X L O N G D A Y S. thank god for starbucks and their free wifi.

NON-GHETTO GLOGG:
* 2 (750 milliliter) bottles red wine
* 2 ounces dried orange zest
* 2 ounces cinnamon sticks
* 20 whole cardamom seeds
* 25 whole cloves
* 1 pound blanched almonds
* 1 pound raisins
* 1 pound sugar cubes
* 5 fluid ounces brandy

1. Pour wine into a large pot. Bring to a boil over medium high heat. Wrap orange zest, cinnamon sticks, cardamom and cloves in cheesecloth, tie with kitchen string and put into pot. Let boil for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Stir in almonds and raisins and continue to boil for 15 more minutes. Remove from heat.
2. Place a wire grill over the pot and cover with sugar cubes. Slowly pour on brandy, making sure to completely saturate the sugar. Light sugar with a match and let it flame. When sugar has melted, cover pot with lid to extinguish flame.
3. Stir and remove spice bag. Serve hot in cups with a few almonds and raisins.

view

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac



Friday, January 8, 2010

IZ candles touted in veg news for being green

The fact that Intoxicated Zodiac’s Candles are made with a 100% natural vegetal wax is often overlooked. But our Cocktail Candles are actually greener than kermit! Thanks to VEG NEWS for noticing, and mentioning us in an extremely informative article below.

I’d like to also mention that Intoxicated Zodiac donates an annual portion of its sales to animal-related charities. Last year we contributed to THE NATIONAL ANTI-VIVISECTION SOCIETY (navs.org). This year we’ll support NY CLASS (ny-class.org). This group supports carriage horses.

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mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac



Wednesday, December 2, 2009

SHOT GLASS CANDLE IN GIFTS & ACCESSORIES ZINE!

we’re thrilled to boast that intoxicated zodiac’s shot glass candles are in the press! check out GIFTS AND DECORATIVE ACCESSORIES “Product Wire” Zine here:

there is still time to get the shot glass candle for christmas!!! perfect for stocking stuffers and chaunaka gifts this holiday, and perfect for birthday all year round… view them here:

gifts&accProductWireSM

travel-sag-bk

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remember, a portion of all proceeds will be donated to animal related charity. intoxicated zodiac employs environmentally friendly materials and techniques whenever possible. to give and receive… start the abundance cycle in your life… think about what you buy. IZ is an artist-owned business. thanks for your support—cheers!

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac



Thursday, October 22, 2009

nyc pet fashion gala event tonight to benefit cacc

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join “today show” correspondent jill rappaport, Q1043 radio personality maria milito, “the wonder team” from animal planet’s “underdog to wonderdog,” “law and order’s” richard belzer, award-winning hip hop choreographer shane sparks, best known for his work as a judge and choreographer on the american television dance competitions “so you think you can dance” and “america’s best dance crew,” and other special guests for the 2nd annual animal care affair gala.

starring fashionably dressed dogs in the Bella Starlet Dog Clothes & Bows—the world’s first ever celebrity dog line!

food, drinks, silent auction, fashion show… thursday october 22nd from 7-11pm. sponsored open bar 7-10. tickets $75. benefits nyc’s homeless and rescued pets.

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac



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Imbibe wisely!