this little tale should make you feel better about your life:

after an exhausting week manning my booth at the nyigf, i arrived home sweet home to find that my cats had all come down with tapeworm. spending about 2 days disinfecting every surface in the house i then came to discover that they had roundworm too. awesome. repeat. since half of my cats are 17 plus year old geriatrics, this infestation didn’t sit too kindly with their antique systems. they’ve still not quite recovered. between pill popping (or jamming), enemas, specialized diets, quarantined litter boxes, ridiculously unnatural shedding, and you don’t even want to hear what else, i’ve become head nurse in a feline infirmary…

now i guess the houseplants were feeling neglected from all this sudden attention the four-legged furballs were getting, so they made a play to get some of gwen’s lovin’ for themselves. they went and caught a raging case of mealy bugs–YAH! my fave : ( if you’ve never encountered mealy bugs, well you just don’t know what you’re missing. i’ll spare you the details.

it was around this time that the inclement weather (light snow) caused a power outage for 1 1/2 days. not too unusual for these here parts… but the electric did come back on, and i jumped in that shower faster than you can say glogg, turned the heat up to 85 degrees, made food on the stove (as opposed to the bbq) and checked my email. i was as happy as a pig in shit.

and then the shit hit the fan, and a tree brought the power wire down. utopia equals game over. i needed alcohol and i needed it now. but as you might imagine, i’d grown weary of chilled cocktails—so i decided to try my hand at swedish cuisine, and attempt the traditional libation known as glogg, or in this particular case, ghetto glogg. best prepared in 45 degrees with a flashlight and gloves. i managed to scrounge up some brandy, red wine, honey, anise, cardamon and cloves in total darkness and throw them on the grill. i almost threw myself on there too. though tasty, the ghetto glogg was mcdonalds hot. i threw in a snowball and went to bed. crawling underneath my 16 covers, with my 16 cats, and my cup o’ ghetto glogg, i vowed not to leave the second floor of the house… because guess what? heat really does rise. now was as good a time as any to read my tarot cards… drawing the devil card for my immediate future, things were decidedly not looking up. worried, but resigned i finally passed out. i woke to 2 feet of snow–and counting–and 3 trees blocking the driveway. damn… should have made my escape while i had the chance. now i was trapped (devil) and had to find someone with a chain saw asap. every friend i called was busy with their own disaster. i was screwed. thank god for the neighbor i’d never met who was out walking his dog as i desperately tried to free tree branches from their snow tombs. this earth angel came back with his chain saw, and as soon as the trees were cleared the plow truck showed and i high taled it outta there. it wasn’t until 6 days later that i regained access! S I X L O N G D A Y S. thank god for starbucks and their free wifi.

NON-GHETTO GLOGG:
* 2 (750 milliliter) bottles red wine
* 2 ounces dried orange zest
* 2 ounces cinnamon sticks
* 20 whole cardamom seeds
* 25 whole cloves
* 1 pound blanched almonds
* 1 pound raisins
* 1 pound sugar cubes
* 5 fluid ounces brandy

1. Pour wine into a large pot. Bring to a boil over medium high heat. Wrap orange zest, cinnamon sticks, cardamom and cloves in cheesecloth, tie with kitchen string and put into pot. Let boil for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Stir in almonds and raisins and continue to boil for 15 more minutes. Remove from heat.
2. Place a wire grill over the pot and cover with sugar cubes. Slowly pour on brandy, making sure to completely saturate the sugar. Light sugar with a match and let it flame. When sugar has melted, cover pot with lid to extinguish flame.
3. Stir and remove spice bag. Serve hot in cups with a few almonds and raisins.

The fact that Intoxicated Zodiac’s Candles are made with a 100% natural vegetal wax is often overlooked. But our Cocktail Candles are actually greener than kermit! Thanks to VEG NEWS for noticing, and mentioning us in an extremely informative article below.

I’d like to also mention that Intoxicated Zodiac donates an annual portion of its sales to animal-related charities. Last year we contributed to THE NATIONAL ANTI-VIVISECTION SOCIETY (navs.org). This year we’ll support NY CLASS (ny-class.org). This group supports carriage horses.

we’re thrilled to boast that intoxicated zodiac’s shot glass candles are in the press! check out GIFTS AND DECORATIVE ACCESSORIES “Product Wire” Zine here:

there is still time to get the shot glass candle for christmas!!! perfect for stocking stuffers and chaunaka gifts this holiday, and perfect for birthday all year round… view them here:

remember, a portion of all proceeds will be donated to animal related charity. intoxicated zodiac employs environmentally friendly materials and techniques whenever possible. to give and receive… start the abundance cycle in your life… think about what you buy. IZ is an artist-owned business. thanks for your support—cheers!

join “today show” correspondent jill rappaport, Q1043 radio personality maria milito, “the wonder team” from animal planet’s “underdog to wonderdog,” “law and order’s” richard belzer, award-winning hip hop choreographer shane sparks, best known for his work as a judge and choreographer on the american television dance competitions “so you think you can dance” and “america’s best dance crew,” and other special guests for the 2nd annual animal care affair gala.

starring fashionably dressed dogs in the Bella Starlet Dog Clothes & Bows—the world’s first ever celebrity dog line!

food, drinks, silent auction, fashion show… thursday october 22nd from 7-11pm. sponsored open bar 7-10. tickets $75. benefits nyc’s homeless and rescued pets.

climate change. be it man made with our excessive use of fossil fuels, or be it natural with the onset of an ice age, there is no denying its existance. perhaps you’re like my friend jim, who screams, bitches and moans that the “dems” have struck fear into the hearts of millions of school children on behalf of a completely false truth. or perhaps you’re a self-hating human who curses his fellow men in their greedy, stupid, oil rich ways. i say, WHO CARES? the fact is that climate change is real — so who cares what precisely caused it? one thing is for sure, and that is that curbing our CO2 emmissions alleviates the impact of global warming somewhat. can we all agree that’s a good thing?

my BIGGEST (oh i have so many it’s hard to choose one) pet peeve is people who sit in their cars with the engines on. going nowhere. eating a bagel. sipping tea. taking a snooze. chillin to the sterio. granted, sometimes it’s hot as hell or as cold as hell froze over and you almost need to idle the car. but most of the time it is not necessary. car idling is a huge contributor to global warming. haven’t you seen the videos of starving polar bears fighting each other to the death just to eat the carcass? try googling it, and then turn off your car. pretty please with strawberry-flavored vodka on top?

above, dog is not only man’s best friend, but bear’s too. (credit)

check out the BLOG ACTION DAY movement here…

Meet The Most Dangerous Beauty Alive… traveling Sword Swallower Charon Henning. We here at IZ are extremely fortunate to have been selected by the aforementioned for the publishing of Charon’s new column, The Cocktail Sword. Let’s give her a warm welcome, a big thanks, some clickage on her blogs: THE SWORD SWALLOWER and ODD ANGEL, and maybe even catch her show live!

Our Airstream is a Leo with a Libra Ascendant. We know this because we have the original bill of sale from the 27th of July, 1966.

I am firmly of the belief that an Airstream, or any other travel trailer or RV, is not officially born until it passes into the hands of its first family (I feel this way about tattoo machines as well, but that’s for another post for another time). Sitting stationary on a dealer’s lot or just outside of the factory is a form of gestation, a time of waiting, of being open to growth when the time is right. The addition of the human element, and subsequent elements that it brings, such as the sharing of food, warmth and companionship, are truly what breathed life into our beloved 1966 Airstream Safari. The entire 22 foot length is brimming with stories and history, which we have been continuing to create with it since the turn of the Millenium.

Currently our family consists of two swordswallowers, one an Aries with a Cancer Ascendant, the other (me) a Scorpio with a Cancer Ascendant, a hairless Sphynx cat, a Virgo with a Scorpio Ascendant (which, now that I think on it, explains an awful lot about her behavior that I’d originally attributed to her breed … ), and the Airstream. All travel brings adventure, all meals are an event and, if you don’t mind me saying so, the sex is pretty awesome. At least for us. The cat’s been spayed. (we call her Brundlefly.)

Given the above variables, it should come as no surprise that we keep a well-stocked cocktail lounge on board. Since we have limited space, we have to choose our bottles, flasks and flavors very carefully. There are foundation liquors to be considered, especially among those of us born under signs that are very much about physicality and the pleasures derived therein. We must always have a few staple items on board at all times and each must serve at least two purposes in the grand scheme of mixology. There are social issues to be considered as well. Living full time in a modern aluminum gypsy wagon means our community changes with the seasons, sometimes with each sign in the heavens, and once the level and style of tippling, or lack thereof, has been established, we know approximately what to bring with us to a gathering.

Generally between 4 and 6 each afternoon the residents of a given campground, fairground, or even the odd truck stop, will come together for some fellowship, story sharing and general face time. At this time each Autumn we find ourselves toting along one of our annual favorites, right as the leaves are changing, when there’s a snap in the air and when something warm to drink is preferable to anything rocks or shaken. Between Mabon and Samhain is, in our opinion, the very perfect time for mulled wine.

Wine is a perfect libation for the time of year when active external energies are waning and quieter introspective energies are one the rise. Dryer red wine is what we always mull, being signs that prefer the rich full bodied flavors of the dark reds, and we offset the slightly bitter taste of the darker cabernets with local honey as we heat it over the open flame of our stove. To this mixture we add allspice, ginger, nutmeg, orange peel, cinnamon, cloves and lemon peel, all spices that complement the seasonal apple harvest as well as the other edible gourds that grace our tables during this time of year. On the chance that we lack one or more of these spices in our pantry, or are simply pressed for time before we gather with others, we have on board as a backup single serving tea bags of Organic Mulling Spices from R.W. Knudsen Family, four bags of which will satisfactorily mull an entire bottle of wine. A little less than half an hour’s simmering will generally suffice.

Being able to buy locally is one of the pleasures of this sort of ambulatory life, and we explore local flavors more fully at this time of year than at any other. The quality of local wines varies greatly but we have never yet been disappointed by any of the small family owned and run vineyards that welcome people each Autumn to their lands offering the same sort of fellowship all of us on the open road enjoy regularly. Many will package their own combinations of wine, honey and spices together for purchase and it is never a bad idea to invest in such a kit, the ingredients having been selected by those who know their product best.

So as the weather chills a bit we will regularly enjoy the pleasures of mulled wine as a complement of the season, watching the steam rise from our mugs as we step outside in the evenings, able to see every star in the sky from our front yard, wherever that might happen to be. As we transition from Libra to Scorpio in the heavens it is a grand time to reward your previous month’s balancing act with a bit of sensual goodness straight from your local vineyard. Enjoy!

CHARON’S MULLED WINE:
*1 bottle red wine of your choosing (we prefer the dryer to the sweeter)
*1 cinnamon stick
*1/4 teaspoon whole cloves
*1/2 teaspoon each of the following, wrapped in cheesecloth and tied
(Organic is always best … ):
allspice
ginger
nutmeg
orange peel
lemon peel
*Organic honey to taste

Combine all in a pot on the stove or over a fire, bring to a low boil and reduce heat to simmer, stirring, for about half an hour. Ladle into mugs to serve and go slowly! It hits you like a well-aimed pillow.

Cheers~Charon, The Most Dangerous Beauty Alive
theswordswallowers.com
oddangel.com

Charon Henning is one of a handful of female sword swallowers in the world today. She’s performed on carnival midways and at wine tastings, on theater stages and grassy lots.

Charon also reads tea leaves professionally, a skill she inherited from her grandmother on her mother’s side of the family. Tea-leaf reading is a wonderful and elegant form of entertainment, suitable for many time periods and venues.

Charon loves being on the road seeing new places and meeting new people. Want to catch Charon on the road for her live show? View her tour schedule here. Or, book Charon’s talent for your next event!

join Leonardo DiCaprio in celebrating ANIMAL ACTION WEEK from oct. 4-10th, 2009.

leonardo’s rising sign is the side of him that we all see, and it happens to be LIBRA – the pleasant, diplomatic, beautiful sign. but while you might not guess it from his easygoing, charming demeanor, leonardo is so much more than a pretty face. he’s a scorpio! just look at those hypnotic, piercing, deep blue scorpion eyes that say it all. when you think about it, his scorpio sun sign does make sense… after all, his passion for animals and do-gooding in general is almost unmatched, even by hollywood’s generous standards. he’s intensely devoted to saving the world. way to go leo!

Your actions matter, every teensy little bit will help an animal somewhere. the non-human creatures of this earth have only our voice to help them, so let’s use it this week with all of our might and help those most in need. from the harsh plains of africa, to the dark alley behind your apartment, to the underground scientific lab, there is an elephant, mouse, kitten, tiger, monkey struggling to stay alive. choose which species you’ll help this week and TAKE ACTION!

jet setter extraordinaire, anne fritz, of the JET SET GIRLS took a peek inside my carry on bag recently. i’m flattered to be featured on such a chic lifestyle blog! here i am with my latest thrift shop find (that cost me only $1 if you can believe it?). i’m asked what’s in the bag–that i just can’t live without–during my flight. and you know what they say: you can tell a lot about a woman from the contents of her purse (or in this case, flight bag). so are you like totally DYING from curiosity or what? don’t torture yourself, check out my bag’s innards here…

VIA SHE GOT STYLE

i’ve dabbled in animal rescue for years now. the usual reasons for owner-relinquishment have been DIVORCE, ALLERGIES, MOVING, ect.

but now, it breaks my heart to see “OWNER CAN NO LONGER AFFORD,” in so many cases. imagine… we can help this situation by partying! wow. crazy, but true.

throw it back, throw the dice! attend BETS FOR PETS — drink, nibble on hors d’oeuvres, and gamble the night away. this is gonna be a great night! think about it… for just $100 you can have a great time, AND, you can help end NYC’s animal over-population through FREE spay neuter clinics!

PURCHASE TIX AT UU4A.

(Ticket includes: $200 in “Snip-Chips” * Drinks * Hors d’oeuvres * Silent Auction * Raffle Prizes * Goody Bag)

(Games include: Black Jack * Craps * Roulette * Poker)

(Remember, this night is TAX-DEDUCTABLE!)

the EXAMINER did great write up on this event, read it here.

this spring i designed a marriage sign shot glass candle for arielle & russell. their nuptuals were performed on may 2nd, making their sacred union a taurus. then this august i helped shelly & brendan realize their leo dream-wedding: “navigating by the stars.” see pics below of both weddings, but first let me explain the concept of marriage sign astrology: everything with a beginning has a sign. hence, the day on which you exchange vows determines your marriage’s sign.

the bride and groom’s sign have don’t have much to do with their marriage sign, all though their marriage sign can impact their “couple personality.” for example, my sister is a reserved, shrewd, sensitive cancer. she got married under the sign of leo and now she’s throwing parties. normally this would have been out of character for her, but not only is there a new husband in her new life, but a new celestial influence… she just gave her hubby a set of MARRIAGE SIGN SHOT GLASSES for their tenth anniversary!

for more on marriage sign astrology check out my nuptual readings, or buy STAR GUIDE TO WEDDINGS by april elliott kent, or, visit IT’S ABOUT TIMING to calculate the most auspicious time for you and your partner to get hitched. whatever you do, think twice about saying i do on saturday. the day of saturday is ruled by saturn, the harsh planet of constriction.

arielle was really into the fact that intoxicated zodiac donates a portion of their proceeds to animal-related charity–AND–that we are also environmentally friendly. soy wax candle, recycled paper, the whole nine…. let’s raise our glasses to arielle and russell… cheers!

TAURUS MARRIAGE SIGN READING PRINTED ON GLASS:
“A Taurus Marriage: Arielle & Russell
When a wedding is held Apr 20-May 20, that marriage belongs to Taurus.
Thus, this union is permanently imbued with these Taurean traits:
SENSUALITY GRATIFICATION LUXURY RELIABILITY STRENGTH
BULLISH DETERMINATION… A toast to the stellar couple… Cheers!”

below we have the leo marriage sign shot glass i designed for shelly & brendan. we actually printed leo’s celestial cocktail recipe, rose geranium gimlet, on the back instead of a reading.

we decorated the cake with constellations… one of which was leo. notice the boat cake topper…

MRS. SHELLY DIY, used compasses instead of traditional place cards. she glued the name and table of each guest inside the compass and instructed guests to take them home.

the seas were explored by starlight and compass…

a nautical globe to set the mood in cocktail hour…

instead of a lame old guest book, we found a colossal manuscript from taschen with ancient maps of the heavens and seas printed inside. every page of this incredible book was either beautiful, informative or outright awesome. guests signed their names to which ever page they saw fit. (the feather pen was from michaels.)

on the deck, we set up a telescope. this was a HUGE hit with the kids, and i highly recommend it for any wedding just to keep ‘em busy. (forgot to snap a pic, so photo credit here)

MRS. SHELLY DIY created the three-sided menu stands. on one side she printed the constellation. on the other side she listed the history of the discovery of the constellation. and on the third side (sorry i forgot to snap a pic again), she listed the menu. all the while pasting glittery, sparkly stars across the whole thing. how leo! did i mention shelly’s a leo?

a toast to this stellar couple’s future indeed! cheers shelly & brendan…