why, then, ’tis time to do ‘t. Hell is murky! Fie, my lord, fie! a soldier, and afeard? aah yes… lady charon’s inner turmoil with the Mojito!

Okay. I confess. I was probably not an ideal candidate for a position as bartender in a kitschy new downtown bar a few blocks from Capitol Hill in Washington DC. What I did have were sideshow skills that fit the décor of the place, a willingness to learn a skill set that would encourage me to improve my stunted social mannerisms and a decent penchant for combining flavors. It was with enthusiasm that my trainer took me on, seeing that on a practical level I was an excellent choice for the job.

He’s a Capricorn, and has made a stellar career as an Intoxicologist not to mention earning a nice fat nest egg as a stockholder in some of the most successful bar enterprises in the District. He kept my instruction in the art clear, concise, practical and businesslike, the way only an extremely effective Capricorn can. I was in good hands and I have never forgotten one of the main principles upon which my education was based: Unless there is also food service at the establishment, tools such as blenders and muddlers should not be necessary behind the bar.

For the most part I have found this to be true, and from a practical Capricornian standpoint, I understand why with regard to the time-consuming nature of drinks that require multiple tools for their creation. From my Scorpio viewpoint, however, I immediately wanted to explore this “forbidden” side of things. He and I talked about it often during the slower late afternoons. He imparted a number of tips and tricks for when I would inevitably find myself in such a circumstance, which I did after just a few months behind his bar, at another establishment where my sideshow skill set was also marketable and desirable in a bartender. It was here I learned about blender drinks and layered drinks and ice cream drinks and a whole host of other decadent and time-consuming masterpieces of mixology that absolutely fascinated me and made me want to build drinks that were bigger, better, grander and, if possible, organic. It was also where I met my nemesis in the tippling world. Here, dear readers, was where I learned to truly detest and loathe one drink in particular in a deeply fundamental way. The copious amounts of this drink I had to manufacture in a given evening did nothing to endear it to me.

It was the Mojito.

This was the drink that, made the way the establishment wanted it made, took more time and energy than we typically had to spare on a busy evening. A single person at a 12-top would order one and suddenly I had orders for 11 more. It was nonstop, insidious and annoying. The drink had no real creativity to it at all, in my humble opinion, since it was essentially a lesser version of the Caipirinha, and those who ordered it did so because it was easy to toss back and order again quickly. As a shot drinker, this offended my Scorpio sensibilities in the worst way. The time, the effort (albeit comparatively slight) and the number of items needed to create the drink were simply wasted on these folks. If one is drinking merely to become intoxicated, there are easier ways to get there, certainly.

Not that anyone here is suggesting that. Not at all.

I blame my snobbishness completely on my Sun Sign. My Cancer Ascendant and Libra Moon grant me the appropriate amount of guilt to balance it, fortunately.

The Mojito and everything it came to stand for in my world was eventually a source of great irritation. I expressed these sentiments often following my time as a professional bartender, mostly to other bartenders as well as tipplers and non-tipplers alike. Many would agree with me, shaking their heads in sympathy, but it wasn’t until I shared the story with a dear friend who is an accomplished and talented chef that I began to think differently about it all. She, a brilliant and vibrant Aries, put forth the challenge that I rethink the Mojito entirely, to imagine what would take it from a simple tasty slightly-above-rail drink to a truly amazing and artistic cocktail, and By All The Mad Gods, to TAKE BACK MY POWER with regard to it all.

She also pointed out that getting over myself would be a good step in the right direction as well. She is a Good Friend.

Being a fellow foodie myself we spoke at length about it, comparing ingredients, contemplating substitutions, hypothesizing about methods for combining the flavors more effectively and interestingly, until we had put together the version you see below.

It is also worth noting here that all of the items listed below were readily available in one or both of our Airstream travel trailers. We were both on the road at the time and created this at a campground in the middle of a southwestern desert.

THE FOODIE’S MOJITO

Half a lime, segmented into 3 portions for easy muddling
1 part Mint Simple Syrup (combine 12 to 15 fresh mint leaves and equal parts water and sugar of your choosing, bring to simmer and let reduce for 8 to 12 minutes)
1 part light rum (I use Gosling’s Gold)
3 parts Pellegrino (or Sparkling Water of your choosing)

Muddle the first two items in the bottom of a tall glass. Add ice to fill and top with final two items. We made two versions o the simple syrup, one with raw cane sugar and one with brown sugar. Both had their pros and cons and I encourage you to experiment t see what you prefer. For an extra bonus of a summery treat, take a half handful of blueberries, raspberries or blackberries and toss them in to be muddled with the first two items. The sparkling water item is also good when of a species that adds a slight flavor infusion, such as lime or citrus.

Garnish liberally with mint leaves and serve to those you know will appreciate the effort precisely because they would go to it themselves. You know the people you thought of immediately while reading the previous sentence? Yes, them. Make a pitcher followed by a few phone calls. The sharing time of summer is worth it.

Cheers~Charon, The Most Dangerous Beauty Alive
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Charon Henning is one of a handful of female sword swallowers in the world today. She’s performed on carnival midways and at wine tastings, on theater stages and grassy lots.

Charon also reads tea leaves professionally, a skill she inherited from her grandmother on her mother’s side of the family. Tea-leaf reading is a wonderful and elegant form of entertainment, suitable for many time periods and venues.

Charon loves being on the road seeing new places and meeting new people. Want to catch Charon on the road for her live show? View her tour schedule here. Or, book Charon’s talent for your next event!