scorpio is anything but simple. in fact, they tie with capricorn for the title of most complex sign. often times misunderstood, and other times just completely unreadable. i have several scorpio friends and i can’t tell you how they constantly shock the shit out of me. they often seem to live double lives… the life they want you to see, and their own private underworld to which even their most intimate friends are closed off from. i’ve actually found that scorpios appear to be almost simpleton-like on the surface… blissfully unaware of the pain that is life, or the opposite… unfortunately unaware of the pleasure that life can be. i must have spent hours pondering my scorpion friend’s deceptively simplistic outlook on life. how can they be so one dimensional i ask myself? and then they hit me when i least expect it with: i’m quitting my job of five years to do absolutely nothing, or i’m moving across country forever, or i’m breaking up with the woman i was engaged to marry, or i’ve wanted to sleep with you for the last six years, or i’ll never forgive that person who still thinks i’m their good friend! and this grand plan that they’ve been mentally perfecting for months on end comes to fruition and hatches into this monstrous chick that will eat us all alive. i am always left wondering, how did i miss that one coming? so, in honor of the most seemingly naive, yet uber complicated signs, i bring you one of the simplest, yet most delectable tipples. compliments of the god of war herself, mars’ red currant smash is deliciously trite, and unexpectedly addictive… it’s just smashing, darlling, like the scorpion queen herself.

SMASHING DARLING (red currant smash)

3 oz vodka
3 oz raw organic simple syrup
1/2 oz fresh lemon juice
2 handfuls red currants

muddle everything but vodka in low ball glass. when macerated, add ice and vodka. stir and serve.

NOTE: some peeps love the floating berries. strain the drink if you think you’ll mind them.

now you might think i’d be all against using blatantly out of season produce, such as the red currant. but keep in mind, to add yet more complexity to scorpio’s red currant, that there is sometimes less of a carbon footprint to import something than there is to grow that same something locally. hard to keep it all straight, isn’t it? i’m not sure about the red currants i purchased specifically, but it’s just food for carbon thought.