Advertise on Intoxicated Zodiac! Contact us for more information.

unique celestial cocktail gifts for all the zodiac signs

NY-CLASS

Help Homeless Kitties - Kittykind

A Love Alchemists Notebook

DRINKING ENOUGH RESVERATROL?
Having trouble drinking 1,000 bottles of wine a day? It may be time to switch to resveratrol supplements - pure, effective and a lot cheaper than 1,000 bottles of wine!

Angel of the Odd

DELICIOUSLY DANGEROUS COMBINATION:
Bar stools + alcohol... Ever wonder why we balance on kitchen bar stools while imbibing mind altering substances? This could be one of life's greatest mysteries!

Preggatini - Mixology for the Mom to be

WHEN IN DOUBT: First find a pub. Then pull up a bar stool. Be sure to order a stiff drink. Proceed to allow bartender to solve your life's problems.

support the national anti-vivisection society

BINGO


read your baroscope

Monday, February 4, 2008

happy bday aquarius – paris celebrates with canned champagne

parishilton11312_468×353.jpghappy birthday paris. i never thought i’d grow to like paris, but none the less, i unexplainably kind of do now, where i never did before. it all started with her seemingly sporadic fondness for elephants… it’s easy to make me your loyal fan – just align yourself with any animal welfare cause, and i’m yo’ bitch. it’s just as easy to make me your enemy, by doing the reverse.

like say, hillary clinton, who imbibed in some very profitable insider trading. she probably used half of what she made to shut the media up. but it happened… about ten years ago she turned $1,000 into $100,00 on some innocent factory farmed beef cows in less than a year. she should have been sharing a cell with poor martha. that why peeps, hillary is a lyer, and if you vote for her, you’ve been swindled. obama is the shit – vote for him. BTW, if you vote republican you deserve to piss warm beer for the rest of your life.

ok, back to paris… i believe paris hilton is the epitomy of aquarian energy. for starters, she’s a blond. and as i’ve said, if constellations had hair, aquarius would be a blonde. she’s completely misunderstood for an utter bimbo, which is of her own doing of course. however, the inability to coherently express oneself is an aquarian trait, and i believe paris wears this one well. this bubbly blonde may have gotten screwed out of her inheritance by gramps (i can’t blame him one bit), but she’s only got more gigs lined up. just one of them is her new champagne endorsement, where “paris is selling sex in a very tasteful way.” how interesting is it that this aquarius is selling champagne in a can? aquarius is the sign of strange and you can’t get stranger than that. why, she’s gonna have more money than her gramps at the rate she’s going! and if she continues along her new “do good for the world” path, then who are we to complain? alledgedly, a percentage of sales from the new RICH PROSECCO champagne, will be donated to charity. cut her some slack peeps, she’s not as awful as she seems! vote: people for paris : )


mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac





1 Comment »

  1. thats perfect thank you

    Comment by marisglobal — September 5, 2008 @ 11:45 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a comment

Submitting your comment releases it to be used in any way by Intoxicated Zodiac™






Copyright © 2009 Intoxicated Zodiac LLC

Information contained within this website is for entertainment purposes only. Please link back to this site when quoting Intoxicated Zodiac.
Imbibe wisely!