This delectable bevvie is ruled by none other than the queen of succulent somethings, taurus. i’ve never actually tasted the bull’s fruit, but i gather it’s sweet as honey.

HONEY DO CIDER
2 oz Armagnac
2 oz Unpasteurized Apple Cider
1 1/2 Honey Syrup*
1/2 oz lemon juice
Dark Sugar

Add ingredients to ice filled shaker and shake for a good ten seconds. this drink does mix easily and separates quickly. Prepare glass by rimming with dark sugar or similar (I used Coconut Palm Sugar with Turmeric Root). Pour into cocktail glass.

*To make honey syrup, add equal parts water and honey to saucepot. Heat until the honey melts. Watch it carefully, this boils over really fast! (recipe by gwen)

thanks to SLOSHED for hosting MXMOIII.

carlo rossi is getting creative, not with his wine, but with his bottles. artist jason miller was commissioned to creat the JUG OF CRYSTAL, an ornate wine glass within a carlo rossi simple jug. magic! and yours for the taking, at only $225.

OR… carlo rossi encourages us to upcycle our jugs by making functional, jug-simple, art. like, say this BURGENDY BOOKSHELF… all creations come with downloadable instructions. even chimpanzees can make this stuff!

starting this year, we are invited to submit our own “jug simple” designs, the best will be chosen for production. better start guzzling, you’ll be needing those empty jugs…

RHINE READING LAMP

CHARDONNAY CHANDELIER

CABERNET COUCH

another ode to capricorn…. for both the lime and the espresso are saturnine… double whammy… make that a double for our goat-like girl friend. she certainly likes to drink, what with that sexy mermaid tail and all. she likes to do other things too: boss people around (no, you mix it like this…), make money and save money (sale on absolut, now she can splurge and buy the full size bottle) and have sex (yup, horny capricorny is her undercover mo). what’s not to like? capricorns rule… ruled by saturn, as are those lovely little limes. capricorn will show you how to make the perfect caipirinha. and if you haven’t gotten around to tasting the new “it” drink, i suggest getting around to it soon. adiós mr. mojito. granted, the caipirinha is more of a summer drink, with it’s crushed ice and all - but hey, cappie girl gets hot than hot in the winter too, ya know. add a shot of espresso and she’s good to go for another few hours…. this drink is genius, just like capricorn thinks she is too.

DARK ENERGY

1/2 lime (cut into chunks)
1 oz extra fine sugar (if you don’t have this, granulated sugar will suffice)
1 1/2 oz cachaca
1 oz organic espresso (chilled)

combine lime and sugar into wide-bottomed glass and muddle until sugar is paste-like. fill glass with ice and add cachaca and espresso to mixture. stir and serve. (cocktail by gwen)

photo: CITY RAG

A workaholic to the bone, stern has openly admitted being married to his career more than to his ex-wife— who eventually divorced him after a 21 year union. Stern’s rising sign is Taurus–making him appear steadfast and likeable to others. Money–hungry Capricorn paired with luxury–seeking Taurus certainly helped drive Stern to stardom!

a bit more on goats:
Sometimes just getting your “Crapricorn” friend out of the office and into the bar is worthy of a celebration in itself. The workaholics of the zodiac, these self–controlling old goats can be fun–challenged at times. Known for being “older than their years,” a Capricorn child may even be called an “old goat.” The astrological slave driver, Capricorn will rule their domain sternly, wether from the corner office, or the kitchen of their home as they keep house. After all, painting the town red doesn’t come cheap–better for Cappie to lay low and save some more money! Not to worry though… super loyal Capricorns hate letting their friends down, and they’ll often give in to a good guilt trip and come join the party. But beware… don’t push them too hard, as there’s nothing worse than a reluctant goat who’s been dragged out whilst in one of their wretched melancholy moods. They will unintentionally see to it that the entire room is dragged down into their thick fog of despondent gloom! Bewildered by Cappie’s seemingly manic-depressive behavior? Understand that this is the most complex zodiac sign, filled with capricious contrasts… where do you think the word originated from?

O2 sparkling vodka is bad news for the vodka haters among us… you know who you are. personally, i think it’s an ingenious idea, one that wish i thought of! can’t wait til it jumps that damn pond : (

VIA TREND CENTRAL

the long anticipated collection of astrological libations are here! um, well, some of them anyway… we know you’re a lush, your friends know you’re a lush, it’s time to tell the boss. display these naughty cocktails on your desktop all day long to keep away the cubicle blues. here’s what we got so far, keep checking in because the remaining signs will be posted soon. special thanks to our photographer, mary claire miraldi.

AQUARIUS - THE LIQUOR BEARER

PISCES - DRINK LIKE A FISH

SAGITTARIUS - THE PARTY HUNTER

SEX WITH JEN - Dreams do come true, now we can all have sex with Jen.
TEMPTATION - Eve quite liked her appletinis. We think she was a Libra

FOOT FETISH - Got a thing for tasty tipples and tasty toes? so does pisces.

PETIT PUSSY - For the little Leo in us all

PUSSY GALORE - For the Leo in us all

if you haven't tasted the libational revelation taking the spirit world by storm, enlighten yourself, and do it as soon as you can. st germaine is quite frankly the best liqueur i have ever tasted. such a special blend could only be inspired by an extratroidinary person. and from the research i’ve found, the count de st germain was just that. no ordinary human, he has alledgedly ascended beyond the earth plane, but does come back for kicks every now and then. unlike the rest of us, he has learned all his earthly lessons and needn’t be further reincarnated. when he does, it is to inspire and teach us… evident in the brilliance contained within every wonderful sip of st germain. the makers of chambord were influenced by something out of this world to create a flavor that is not of this earth. today, there are many places and things that bear his name. google st germain and you’ll come up with much more more than a liqueur. but who exactly was larger than life persona that was beloved by all that met him? wiki states that he has been many people over a few hundred years(which would lend fodder to the reincarnation arguement, all though some say he drank a special elixer to stay alive that whole time). he was:

***the son of Francis II Rákóczi, the Prince of Transylvania, by Rákóczi’s first wife

***the illegitimate son of Maria Anna of Pfalz-Neuburg, the widow of Charles II of Spain

***the son of the king of Portugal (presumably John V)

***he has been described as a courtier, adventurer, charlatan, inventor, alchemist, pianist, violinist and amateur composer, but is best known as a recurring figure in the stories of several strands of occultism.

***and he is believed to have many magical powers such as the ability to teleport, levitate, walk through walls, influence people telepathically, etc.

***In the New Age beliefs regarding him, St. Germain is always associated with the color violet and the jewel amethyst;
Germain is known is esoteric circles as “The Cosmic Master of the Age of Aquarius.”

aries is the ultimate diamond in the rough. they are no frills get to the point or they’re gone you have 30 seconds to get it out talk fast. their heart is always made of gold and their undying optimism is always charming. if you can look past their blunt remarks, their impatient demeanor and their headstrong aggression, you will find they are the most adorable babies of the zodiac. true diamonds hidden under a mask of fired, jagged, blackened coal. gotta love those hot headed arian babes. kind of like mars’ vinegar. too hot to handle on it’s own, this sour, bitter flavor needs to be tamed before imbibed. and what better to tame the wild child vinegar than venus’ sweet sugar?

LIBERTINE

2 oz freshly juiced pear nectar
2 oz sake
1/2 oz balsamic syrup
2 drops bitters
Garnish: Pear slice

***to make balsamic syrup: Simmer 2 cups sugar, 1 cup water, 1 cup balsamic vinegar for twenty minutes. pour into final storage container, adding approx. 1 oz vodka to aid in preservation.

Stir all ingredients in a mixing glass with ice. Strain into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with pear slice. (Cocktail by Gwen Sutherland Kaiser, Photo by Mary Claire Miraldi)

this recipe for BALSAMIC SYRUP was inspired by the amazing book, THE ART OF THE BAR, by jeff hollinger & rob schwartz. it’s another MUST have.

drown your sorrows (ie holiday credit card bill) in a bottle of puzzle. hey, no hangover, what’s not to love? speaking of hangovers, i wonder how many millions were worshiping the porcelain god this new year’s day? but back to puzzles… they have in fact, been found to make the brain sharper and help prevent the onset of alzheimers. it’s a win-win.
buy the GOBLET & BOTTLE and
BEER KEG & MUG from BITS & PIECES ($10-$15).

we’ve had the grapefruit diet, the orgasmic diet, the south beach diet, the beer diet, the atkins diet, and now, the cocktail diet. if you haven’t yet settled on a new years resolution, this could be the one. the rules are simple:
1) eat sensibly all day (ocassional cupcakes are ok).
2) exercise–and yes, walking to the subway counts.
3) drink you dinner.
that’s it! the devil’s in the details so read on…

• remember that alcohol in and of itself is fattening. if you really wanted to emaciate yourself, you’d just drink wheat grass juice for dinner. but we gotta have some fun right? so in light of this fact, don’t consume more than 2 oz alcohol per night. i would suggest preparing two cocktails with 1 oz of alcohol in each.

• dairy-based spirits are out of bounds, as they are very fattening not to mention unhealthy (howard stern has admitted he’d rather drink gasoline than a glass of milk).

• i also recommend adding at least 1 oz of water or some other flavor stretching base like coconut or almond milk. in light of the new negative data on soy, i’d steer clear of that–and keep your distance from dairy too. smoothies are ideal, but only in the summer of course, unless you’re an eskimo.

• stay away from the sugary liqueurs and stick to the base liquors.

• it’s also helpful as well to consume a full glass of water before drinking your dinner to trick your stomach into thinking it’s full.

• but the most important rule to follow is the use of fresh ingredients. my fave way to consume them is through juicing. but those juicers can get expensive, so in lieu of that, use a blender and strain the mixture through cheesecloth. i gather it works just as well if not better. another choice would be the construction of a muddled or smashed drink with crushed ice. smashed would be preferable as you get to eat the ingredients as you drink, resulting in more vitamins.

• did i mention no diet pills or heroine? yeah… no, not on the diet.

• no time? buy a bottle of blackcurrant or pomegranite juice instead if you’re in too much of a hurry to prepare an elaborate cocktail. but don’t make a habit of this–nothing beats fresh for nutrients.

• fresh fruit purees work great too.

• if you must add sweetener (like moi) be sure to use a semi raw variety such as agave, organic sugar or honey. no processed or refined sugar please!

• oh, and don’t forget the hugely oversized garniture, that’s your appetizer after all! (and no, it’s not against the rules to garnish with a square of PURE dark chocolate–milk chocolate is a big no-no).

• can’t stand this madonna style nazi cocktail diet one more night? move to alternate nights, or only go two nights a week with a liquid dinner. either way, mom would be so proud, eating your veggies and getting a buzz too!

• practice “sensible” eating on a daily basis, allotting of course, for life’s necessity–cupcakes.

• the alcohol will not only help to curb and hunger pangs that drift your way, but some studies claim that it boosts the antioxidant nutrients in fruits such as stawberries and blackberries.. after a few days of this, your stomach will have shrunk, enabling you to reduce your intake during the daytime meals as well. don’t hate me because i’m an anorexic.

while the BLOODY MARY is the original diet cocktail, below are other healthy libations to get you going. remember, you are what you drink. may your tipples be wholesome and your thoughts anything but. happy 2008 peeps!

HEALTHY LONG ISLAND ICED TEA: ADAPTED FROM HERBS FOR HEALTH MAGAZINE
1/4 cup orange, juiced
1 lemon, juiced
2 kiwis, peeled and chopped
1 orange, peeled, seeded and chopped
1/2 grapefruit, peeled, seeded and chopped
1 tbsp chopped fresh parsley
1/2 oz tequila
1/2 oz gin
1/2 oz vodka
1/2 oz rum

UK5 VODKA has an excellent selection of diet cocktails:
HAIR OF THE DOG

This is a great hangover cure, had too much the night before this will start to sort you out. Radishes help cleanse the liver. Carrots provide a massive boost of vitamin A (also good for the liver), and apples are among nature’s great detoxifiers.
6 Carrots, unpeeled; unless organic, remove top and bottom.
4 Radishes, with leaves, if possible.
2 Apples, unpeeled, uncored and quartered.
2 shots of UK5 Organic Vodka, stirred into the finished juice.

SQUARE ONE VODKA also has some nice healthy tipples. try their COUNTRY THYME:
Handful of fresh blueberries, huckleberries or blackberries (10-15)
1/2 fresh organic lemon cut in pieces
1 1/2 oz. of Square One Organic Vodka
1/4 to 1/2 oz. organic agave nectar
2 – 3 springs of fresh thyme
Ice
(Credit: H. Joseph Ehrmann)
In a mixing cup add berries and lemon. Muddle to juice both. Add Square One Organic Vodka, agave nectar and ice. Shake vigorously for 20-30 seconds. Take 3 sprigs of thyme and slap it between your palms to release the oils. Place 2 sprigs in bottom of 10-ounce highball glass and fill with ice. Strain the cocktail over ice and put the last thyme sprig and place it in top of cocktail as a garnish. It should stick out a bit like a small straw. Note: For a refreshing summer spritzer, add 1 tablespoon of Crème de Cassis or D’Arbo Sour Cherry Syrup or Sonoma Black Currant Syrup and top with soda water.

AND LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST IS PARTIDA TEQUILA’SLOOKBETTERNAKED Margarita (by Adam R. Seger CCP)
Using Sambozan Pure Organic Acai and Partida Organic Agave Nectar fills the margarita with antioxidants, amino acids, dietary fiber, iron, calcium, cholesterol-reducing fructans and Vitamins A and C. The rosemary is rich in vitamin E, preventing cancer and skin damage. An egg white provides a full source of protein, while the fresh lime juice prevents heart disease and gives an extra dose of Vitamin C. The LookBetterNaked margarita is this year’s guilty pleasure to help you lose the weight!
1.5 Ounces Partida Estate Reposado Tequila
1/2 Ounce Sambazon Pure Organic Acai
3/4 Ounces Partida Organic Agave Nectar
4″ Sprig Rosemary, Top Inch Reserved for a Garnish
1/2 Ounce Organic Egg White
1 Lime Fresh Squeezed
RIM:
Equal Parts Organic Salt with 50 Trace Minerals and Fresh Cracked Organic Green Peppercorns
Remove Rosemary Leaves from the Woody Stem. Muddle in a 16 Ounce Pint Glass until Aromatic. Add Liquid Ingredients.
Rim a Chilled 10 Ounce Cocktail Glass with Salt and Pepper.
Shake Liquid Ingredients Vigorously Until Metal Shaker is Frosted.
Strain into Chilled, Rimmed Glass and Float a 1″ Rosemary Sprig on Top.