The walls of my friend jen’s apartment are cocoa brown, and her complimentary minimalist furnishings all match in various shades of brown. Jen’s brownie girl eyes are offset by her gorgeous bronze skin - a backdrop for the long curly tendrils of bark brown hair that cascade over it. today she wore a brown striped dress with a cropped brown jacket over it. i can’t remember her shoes, but i bet they were brown! if jen were a food, it would be chocolate. Even though she’s a Cancer, the cocoa bean is ruled by Venus and hence belongs to Taurus. One day i paid my friend a visit and offered to make cocktails. Luckily, i had my boston shaker in the car with me - all i needed was ingredients. But jen had decorated her fridge with the same minimalist aesthetic as her apartment, and it was quite bare. No cream. No lemons. No soda (except for half a can of diet coke). No juice. Even the dozen eggs which i could have used for froth, were bad. (you can tell this, if they float in water). Of course the girl had all the essentials… vodka, tequila, scotch, rum in every flavour… What to do? Finally i spied a bowl of leftover icing she’d whipped up last week for a batch of brownies she made. Against her panicked warnings not to eat it for fear it had gone off, i dug my spoon in there anyway, and tasted heaven. Now this i can work with! And so a chocolate martini, the likes of which i’ve never tasted before, was created. If i were to have sex with jen, it would surly feel like this drink tastes.

SEX WITH JEN:
2 oz vodka
4 tbsp sinful chocolate icing

place in stirring glass filled with ice and shake for a good minute. NOTE: i like chocolate sludge. if you do too, increase the amount of icing you use.

SINFUL CHOCOLATE ICING:
2 1/2 (1 oz.) sq. unsweetened baking chocolate
2 cups confectioners sugar (powdered)
3 tablespoons hot water
1 egg (free range/organic, but of course)
l/3 cup margarine
1 teaspoon vanilla

Melt chocolate and remove from heat. With electric mixer, blend in sugar and water. Beat in egg, then margarine and vanilla. Frosting may be thin at this point so place bowl in refrigerator until it is spreading consistency.

(recipe created by gwen sutherland kaiser)

NOTE: vegans can leave out the egg for a still rather good frosting, or follow recipe below:

* 1 c sugar
* 6 tbl corn starch
* 4 tbl cocoa
* 1/2 tsp salt
* 2 tbl oil
* 1 c water
* 1/2 tsp vanilla

Mix sugar, cornstarch, salt, and cocoa in a medium sauce pan. Whisk in the water. Heat over medium until it gets thick and starts to boil. Boil for 1-2 minutes. (Make sure you don’t boil too long, or it will set like taffy.) Remove from heat and stir in oil and vanilla. VIA YARINARETH