well, you may know, after my reciting it a hundred times on this blog, that jupiter is the planet of excess. pisces is co-ruled by jupiter and the more recently discovered, outer planet of neptune. i think we can all agree, that in spring, the amount of dandelions on our lawn is certainly excessive. the rampant spreading of those little yellow heads, and the troublesome fluff that they become, is progeny of jupiter. this invasive weed however, is not without merit. and what is a weed, but a plant we have no use for? in actuality though, dandelions make delicious wine. my mom used to gather the heads to make wine during the “spring flush,” when most people were running their lawn mower over them in exasperation. and the leaves of dandelion are good for stirfries and salads during the early spring weeks, before they get bitter. medicinally, this little yellow pest is supposedly a powerful digestive aid, in addition to many other health-enhancing properties. perhaps the element of dandelion that best captures pisces dream-like nature, is the tradition of blowing all the seeds off making a wish. if there’s any sign that can wish, and dream, and ponder, and get lost in their make-believe sea world, it is the dreamy fishes with their fantastical wishes. but by far, the smartest way to utilize jupiter’s golden bounty, is by infusion and consumption!

DANDELION DAQUIRI:
2 oz dandelion infused white rum*
3/4 oz fresh squeezed lemon juice
1/2 oz simple syrup*
dandelion for garnish (if you can find one)

*prepare dandelioninfusion by pulling the yellow petals off of the head. be sure to avoid any green. place approx one cup full in a 750 ml bottle of white rum. allow to sit for several weeks in dark location. to use, run through strainer and store.

*simple syrup is a mixture of 50% sugar and water. place in container and shake or stir until dissolved.

(recipe created by gwen sutherland kaiser)

see Dandelion Cointreau Infusion

my motto is, better late than never, right? well, here we go again… i stumbled out from under my blogging rock, and what to my wondering eyes should appear – but an eco-cocktail competiton. eco whore that i am, i just had to spread the word. for those of you that work best under pressure, this one’s for you! come up with an incredibly inventive and mouth-whetting libational masterpiece by aug 31st and be entered to win a trip to san fran for the “square off.” grand prize is a pro bar set. your tantalizing tipple must contain at least 75% organic ingredients by volume, so keep that in mind and hit the farmer’s market. the peeps over at square one vodka don’t mess around, don’t go making any 3 oz martinis folks, we’re goin’ for the whole pitcher! this competition is open to anyone… never mixed a drink? throw some stuff in a pitcher and see how it tastes. amateurs are welcome.

VIA ultimate bar chef, VIA chow
sponsored by om organics & square one vodka

we’re such tr3ndsetrs here at iz. move over dog-rats, paris will be carting around a mini donkey any day now. mega trend source, daily candy, tells us miniature donkeys are HOT. but actually, we think they’re kinda last season… after all we all ready partied with them a last fall, and they are rowdy. seriously, they’ll kick the crap out of the family dog if it gets too close. and in case you were wondering, they like their cider neat – garnished with a carrot.

(but speaking of paris, she just launched her own clothing line at magic this week. no word as to whether stripes and orange are in the line, but apparently any ass can design a clothing line too).
Mini Donkeys are Capricornian due to their cloven feet & reduced size

VIA daily candy
read all about the donkey cocktail party
buy a donkey

donald’s got his vodka. so does robert cavalli. madonna has her wine. am i missing anyone? well prince charles had organic ale all the while, and i never even knew! don’t go looking for his name on the label though, it’s not there. such is the way of secretive scorpio, operating from behind the scenes. charles started his organic foods company Duchy Originals, years ago, but apparently we’re not privy to it across the pond. (food miles and such, i guess. unless he’s still holding a grudge for the revolution).

VIA TREEHUGGER

The walls of my friend jen’s apartment are cocoa brown, and her complimentary minimalist furnishings all match in various shades of brown. Jen’s brownie girl eyes are offset by her gorgeous bronze skin – a backdrop for the long curly tendrils of bark brown hair that cascade over it. today she wore a brown striped dress with a cropped brown jacket over it. i can’t remember her shoes, but i bet they were brown! if jen were a food, it would be chocolate. Even though she’s a Cancer, the cocoa bean is ruled by Venus and hence belongs to Taurus. One day i paid my friend a visit and offered to make cocktails. Luckily, i had my boston shaker in the car with me – all i needed was ingredients. But jen had decorated her fridge with the same minimalist aesthetic as her apartment, and it was quite bare. No cream. No lemons. No soda (except for half a can of diet coke). No juice. Even the dozen eggs which i could have used for froth, were bad. (you can tell this, if they float in water). Of course the girl had all the essentials… vodka, tequila, scotch, rum in every flavour… What to do? Finally i spied a bowl of leftover icing she’d whipped up last week for a batch of brownies she made. Against her panicked warnings not to eat it for fear it had gone off, i dug my spoon in there anyway, and tasted heaven. Now this i can work with! And so a chocolate martini, the likes of which i’ve never tasted before, was created. If i were to have sex with jen, it would surly feel like this drink tastes.

SEX WITH JEN:
2 oz vodka
4 tbsp sinful chocolate icing

place in stirring glass filled with ice and shake for a good minute. NOTE: i like chocolate sludge. if you do too, increase the amount of icing you use.

SINFUL CHOCOLATE ICING:
2 1/2 (1 oz.) sq. unsweetened baking chocolate
2 cups confectioners sugar (powdered)
3 tablespoons hot water
1 egg (free range/organic, but of course)
l/3 cup margarine
1 teaspoon vanilla

Melt chocolate and remove from heat. With electric mixer, blend in sugar and water. Beat in egg, then margarine and vanilla. Frosting may be thin at this point so place bowl in refrigerator until it is spreading consistency.

(recipe created by gwen sutherland kaiser)

NOTE: vegans can leave out the egg for a still rather good frosting, or follow recipe below:

* 1 c sugar
* 6 tbl corn starch
* 4 tbl cocoa
* 1/2 tsp salt
* 2 tbl oil
* 1 c water
* 1/2 tsp vanilla

Mix sugar, cornstarch, salt, and cocoa in a medium sauce pan. Whisk in the water. Heat over medium until it gets thick and starts to boil. Boil for 1-2 minutes. (Make sure you don’t boil too long, or it will set like taffy.) Remove from heat and stir in oil and vanilla. VIA YARINARETH

DRINKIN JOE lives in a hole in the ground. he has no friends, and he’s likely dying of a terminal illness. apparently, he’s always thought that alcohol was a poison plaguing the world. good samaritan that he feels he is, Joe has chosen a life of sacrifice. he will rid this earth of the evil we call alcohol, by drinking it away. let’s help him on his crusade, shall we?

“outing” drunks happens to be one of DRINKIN JOE favorite past times. he is especially fond of the celebrity variety. check out his “DRUNK OF THE MINUTE,” it’s quite amusing. just glad i haven’t found myself on there yet.

now THIS is cool. introducing GOOGLE SKY, complete with constellations, heavenly bodies, planets, Hubble Space images, the moon, stars & galaxies. it’s time peeps. update your GOOGLE EARTH or download it for the first time. but now is the time!

are you a lazy infuser? because if you are, your chariot has arrived. now you can one click shop for all your vodka infusion needs. check out VODKAFLAVORS.

you’ll get an infusion jar, complete with pretty little sticker, identifying ingredient tag, huge oversized tea bag (GENIUS IDEA!) filled with the flavour of your choosing, plus some free coasters…. woohoo! oh, one little stickler though, you actually do have to supply your own vodka.

below is a list of their astrological offerings. now keep in mind, VENUS is the mother of all things deliciously fragrant, and that’s why she’s got so many choices. MARS rules all things spicy, and the sun rules yummy sunny stuff. sorry fellow cold signs, but our planetary rulers just don’t lend themselves readily to the ripening of delectable delicacies. keep in mind though, we don’t have to stick to your own sign’s drinks!

for instance, i’m a cold-blooded cappie that can always do with a boost of warmth. that being the case, i should think about imbibing the ingredients of TAURS, which might be just the thing to warm my chilled bones (especially if it’s 50 proof). you understand what i’m getting at here… if the quality of your ruling planet is cold an dry, the opposite would be hot and wet. therefore, refer to the chart at the bottom of the page to see which planet possesses those qualities, and drink up!

INGREDIENTS OF LIBRA & TAURUS (ruled by venus)
• COMPLIMENTARY FOR GEMINI, VIRGO, CAPRICORN, PISCES

strawberry
apple
apricot
cherry
mint
chocolate

INGREDIENTS OF CANCER (ruled by the moon)
• COMPLIMENTARY FOR LEO, ARIES & SCORPIO

banana

INGREDIENTS OF ARIES & SCORPIO (ruled by mars, scorpio is co-ruled by pluto)
• COMPLIMENTARY FOR CANCER

cranberry
garlic
horseradish
peppermint
ginger
peppercorn
chili
mustard seed

INGREDIENTS OF SAGITTARIUS & PISCES
(ruled by jupiter, pisces is co-ruled by neptune)
• COMPLIMENTARY FOR GEMINI, VIRGO, CAPRICORN, AQUARIUS

pineapple

INGREDIENTS OF VIRGO & GEMINI (ruled by mercury)
• COMPLIMENTARY FOR PISCES, SAGITTARIUS, TAURUS, LIBRA

lemon
celery
fennel
lavender
lemongrass
star anise

INGREDIENTS OF LEO (ruled by the sun)
• COMPLIMENTARY FOR CANCER

orange
juniper
sun dried tomato
bay leaf
cinamon

INGREDIENTS OF CAPRICORN & URANUS
(ruled by saturn, aquarius is co-ruled by uranus)
• COMPLIMENTARY FOR PISCES, SAGITTARIUS, TAURUS, LIBRA

espresso

like we all have a zodiac sign, so do we also have a feng shui element. mine happens to be wood. you might wonder why this should matter to you… Reiko Gomez, a feng shui master here in NYC, explains that “the feng shui element is helpful for knowing the element that supports you, so that you can make sure to have it in your space - especially near where you work and where you sleep.” that said, i think it only makes sense that we would also benefit from imbibing the benefits of our element too! no?

FIND YOUR FENG SHUI ELEMENT ON THE CHART BELOW & SCROLL DOWN FOR YOUR ELEMENT COCKTAIL:

FENG SHUI ELEMENT COCKTAILS:

if you are WOOD – having plants or fresh flowers supports you.

your cocktail is green in color and tastes fresh and fruity or lemon-limey.

WOOD COCKTAIL: JADE

2 oz pineapple juice (freshly pressed if possible)
1 1/2 oz vanilla infused vodka (infuse your own by placing vanilla pod in vodka for a few weeks)
1 oz midori
1 oz fresh lemon juice
1 oz fresh lime juice
1 oz organic simple syrup

modified from FOOD & WINE COCKTAILS 2005 (buy through KITTYKIND to give them a percentage).

If you are METAL – wearing jewelry in silver or gold, or having a nice metal sculpture in your space supports you.

your cocktail is gold or white in color, and can taste minty.

METAL COCKTAIL: WHITE COCOA-MINT KISS

3 1/2 oz godiva white chocolate liqueur
1/2 oz creme de menthe
1/2 oz silk soy creamer

place in ice filled shaker and shake for ten seconds. pour into martini glass.

If you are EARTH – wearing crystals or having crystals, stones, or ceramic items in your space supports you.

your cocktail is brown, tan orange or yellow in color, and tastes rich in flavour.

EARTH COCKTAIL: HOT BUTTERED RUM

1 tsp brown sugar
4 oz boiling water
1 whole clove
2 oz dark rum
1 tsp SOY GARDEN buttery spread
1/8 tsp grated nutmeg
modified from THE BARTENDER’S BIBLE by Gary Regan (buy through KITTYKIND to give them a percentage).

If you are FIRE – having a red candle or lamp nearby supports you.

your cocktail is red, hot pink or purple in color, and tastes spicy or sour.

BLOODY MARIA

2 oz tequila
5 oz fresh squeezed tomatoe juice
1/3 oz fresh squeezed lemon juice
1 pinch fresh ground black pepper
4 dashes tabasco sauce
4 dashes worcestershire sauce

modified from COMPLETE HOME BARTENDERS GUIDE by salvatore calabrese (buy through KITTYKIND to give them a percentage).

If you are WATER – having a water feature (fountain or water plant) in your home or office supports you.

your cocktail is blue or clear in color and tastes relatively bland and smooth.

DAISY GIN

4 oz gin
1 1/2 oz blue curacao
1 oz simple syrup
1 oz fresh squeezed lemon juice
club soda

in separate glass mix all ingredients, except club soda. fill collins glass with ice and pour mixture inside. top with club soda and stir.

modified from THE LITTLE BLACK BOOK OF MARTINIS by nannette stone (buy through KITTYKIND to give them a percentage).

the ultimate leo would have to be madonna. that woman puts on a show like nobody’s business. she has literally done whatever it took to see her name in lights, which probably wouldn’t have happened without Virgo as her rising sign. keeping her head organized and clutter-free, mercury allowed her to focus on her goals with the shrewd precision of a laser beam. leo is the spotlight who garners much attention, but virgo is the rich one. they know how to manage their money, and to succeed in “life.” but it’s madonna’s overall chart that indicates that she is a force to be reckoned with – in case you haven’t noticed. and even though she’s not as animal-friendly or environmentally-minded as i would like her to be (which i just don’t get as she’s tight with stella), she has been, and continues to be my idol. unless you’ve been living under a rock (or don’t pay attention to every single teensy weensy move madonna makes) you know that she works out. like excessively, as if there’s an invisible slave driver strapped to her yoga mat. i once read that she sometimes gives herself a treat and eats toast with… JAM! jam, ok, jam. if that’s a treat, i’m in trouble. she doesn’t go out in the sun without spf 250 on, and from all my research i don’t think she’s ever done drugs. the woman is a control freak, as i’ve found some leo’s to be. for all the glitz and glam that that leo’s love, you’d think she’d imbibe often in overly garnished specialty cocktails. but no. her drink? from what i’ve seen, she’s a purist-lightweight, enjoying lager or champagne in a local english pub with her guy. all though she did introduce her own line of celebrity wine! here’s to you madonna, keep up the amazing work, and stop wearing fur all ready. it’s tired, and you’re not.

visit MADONNALICIOUS & see MADONNA’S CHART