A couple of Sundays ago, I mozied on down to the New York Bar Show in The Big Apple. I was surprised to see that it wasn’t just strictly bar industry attendees, but some regular people off the street too, looking for something different to with their Sunday. So the lord’s day of rest, became the day of gay tipsyness. There was some definite intoxication going on… some very shiny, happy people. But what about the products you ask? I saw a wide gamut of stuff ranging from luxury hi end to Pabst Blue Ribbon low, and picked up a fair amount of swag along the way. Unbenownst to the exhibitors, they were all vying for the highly prestigious INTOXICATED ZODIAC awards!

BEST PACKAGING – Roberto Cavalli Vodka
Way too sexy for it’s bottle, I thought Donald was the only celeb with his own vodka. Wrong. This bottle was so frikin cool, I couldn’t take my smitten eyes of off it. The serpent’s tail wraps around the entire bottle, all the way up to the neck, where the snake’s open-mouthed head perches seductively on top. This is one bottle you won’t want to throw in the recycling. As Paris would say, it’s hot. Oh but what a tease… the snake head bottle top is only a promotional item as far as I know.

BEST ECO SPIRIT – from The Organic Spirits Company
Paul (Sagittarius) and Bobbi (Taurus) are the adorable couple behind this incredible line of organic spirits. As you might have figured out by now, I’m kind of an eco slut, so I might be slightly biased here. But I think even President Bush would agree that this stuff was a grade higher than top notch. The UK5 vodka was the smoothest I’ve ever tasted. Like water. Really. Paul explained to me that it was the only unfiltered vodka in the world. It’s naturally so pure that it doesn’t require filtering. The Juniper Green gin and scotch were incredibly smooth as well. The Papagayo spiced run was flavoured so subtly that it was hardly noticeable-in a good way. Certainly no Captain Morgans. Try them all if you get the chance and I doubt you’ll be disappointed. Prince Charles wasn’t. That’s why he awarded them the Prince of Wales’ Royal Warrant. They are going to be set up at the Fancy Foods Show at the Jacob Javitz Center this July 8-10th at booth 3911. Stop by for a tasting out if you can!

ECO SPIRIT RUNNER UP – Russian White Gold Vodka
Russian White Gold proudly advertised that it was ORGANICALLY INFUSED. Whatever that means. The take-away literature at the Russian White Gold booth claims it uses “specially selected organic grain.”

BEST MARKETING IDEA: ‘Tinis To Go
You’ve heard of pret-a-porter. Well now we have pret-a-boirez, brought to us by the Metropolitan Martini Company. Ready to drink martinis for the drinker on the go!

MARKETING IDEA RUNNER UP: Mike’s Hard Lemonade Cocktails
Mike’s Hard Lemonade is jumping on the cocktail bandwagon not a moment too soon with an array of “soft” cocktails. A friend of mine found Mike’s Hard Lemonade Appletinis at his grocer a few months back and loved them, so I predict these will become pretty popular with the masses. Try not to drink one while driving the brand new SEGWAY you could win in the sweepstakes they are currently running.

BEST FREE SAMPLE – DH KRAHN Gin
In a sea of syrupy samples and straight up spirits, DH KRAHN offered a refreshing change with their fresh basil muddled martini. I could have drank the whole pitcher. It’s all in the fresh ingredients people! A sprig of basil, a squirt of fresh lemon juice, some simple syrup and gin made this the best freebie of the show! Check their website for some really creative cocktail recipes too.

BEST NEW FLAVOUR
RU Russian Vodka
RU boasted the most interesting new flavour: blackcurrant. I know, I know, it’s nothing new. We’ve had Cassis, after all, for like a century now, right? But little did you know that black currants were illegal to grow in the United States up until only a few years ago. That’s right, illegal. Like cannibis, illegal. Hopefully the government will come to it’s senses and legalize the latter soon too! The reason for the ban was that it supposedly carried a certain type of pest. As a child, I remember my mom sneaking baby blackcurrant plants through customs on our way back from Scotland. She always got away with it. Who’s going to stop a sweet little Scottish lass with four young ‘uns in tow?! And so I was lucky enough to enjoy black currants growing up. Now that the floodgates have been opened, expect to see more of this delicious and long overdue flavour in the US market. Check the refridgerated section of your grocer for several new to the market black currant juices. Sitting right next to the POM Wonderful and the Acai berry… and just as good for you.

NEW FLAVOUR RUNNER UP:
CHOYA Ume Liqueur
Made from Japanese plums, Choya has a pleasant fruity flavour. I’ve never tasted it before (yes, live under a rock), and really liked it.

BEST NEW GADGET: Fruit Injector
For when you’ve had about enough of getting your hands sticky with lime juice after wrestlling with the Corona bottle. Easy as 1, 2, 3.

NEW GIMIC RUNNER UP: SHOT DROP
Perfect for serving hundreds upon hundreds of the college favorite, Jager Bombs, to a house full of sorority sisters. This plastic measuring cup sits on the inside of your glass, allowing for a perfectly balanced bomb, every time.

BEST ADVERTISING: Nexcite
Sex sells and the red rabbit is banking on it. Touted as a libido boosting beverage, Nexcite is best used as a cocktail mixer (think Red Bull). Kudos for the creative campaign, which would make any flower blush.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:
DRINKIN MATE:
Fight hangovers with this ALL natural, magic pill, made from wild guava leaf an specifically formulated to help the body process alcohol. Don’t believe the hype? Try it for yourself… log on for a free sample. Be sure to check out the FUN FACTS section – it’s tres interesment. Sorry I can’t review this product for you, I’m ashamed to admit that I haven’t partied hard enough to need it just yet. I’ll work on that…

BuyYourFriendADrink.com
This is just a great idea. Celebrate absentee friends in a whole new way. Can’t make it out for your best friend’s birthday cuz u live in Topeka, Kansas? Send her a guilt-free drink!

And for all you intoxicated bookworms out there, ABBEVILLE PRESS was offering 25% off all books purchased at the show. Look for Intoxicated Zodiac book reviews in the future…

What’s an event without OXYGEN BARS & ICE SCULPTURES?!

And HOT MODELS everywhere you turn!

INTOXICATED ZODIAC TIP OF THE DAY:
It’s time to get a little greener at the NEW YORK BAR SHOW… Why not provide a receptacle for used badges at future trade shows? Next time the event rolls around, just reuse the badges. Imagine the number of acetate badges that would saved from the landfill? And hello, not everyone realizes this, but acetate is made from OIL! When I was in college, I worked the door at the Annual Origami Convention in NYC, and collected everyone’s old badges to reuse at next year’s convention. It worked out just fine. And stop laughing, origami folders are people too.

The planet of Mercury rules the mulberry. So states Nicholas Culpeper, medieval medical astrologer, famous for bringing holistic healthcare to the poor in Britain when traditional medicine was unavailable to them. Hence this beautifully colored berry belongs to the sign of Virgo. All though neat-freak Virgos would not agree that the mulberry is so beautifully colored. It tends to leave vivid tie dye patterns in every driveway and path it stands over with deep purple, squished berry stains. Many a mulberry tree has been slain for it’s unwanted spots. I personally know of two such slaughters… dad, brother-in-law… you know who you are. Mom, I’ll forgive you because it had to go in order to put solar panels on the house. But speaking of murder, Lady Macbeth might have been mentioning mulberries with her famous line, out damn spot. Which brings me to issue a friendly warning: birds love mulberries, so when you go foraging, watch out for another type of spot. Bird poop is not uncommon as it’s one of our feathered friend’s faves. I bid you much success in your mulberry quest.

Now for a truly tree-hugging libational experience, might I suggest the latest and greatest of the green spirits: Reyka Vodka. Iceland’s first and only vodka is sustainably distilled, qualifying it to be a “green” spirit. In fact, Iceland’s capital, Reykjavik, is entirely heated by underground hot springs. Reyka uses clean energy from geothermal heat, and pure glacial water in the production of it’s vodka. Wanna see for yourself? Enter to win a trip to Iceland for 1 winner and 9 friends to attend the Iceland Airwaves Music festival. Or perhaps you’re not so into music and more into say, amorous puffins. If this is the case, watch this video.

LADY MACBETH

• 2 oz vodka (Reyka is superb)
• 1 1/2 oz organic simple syrup***
• 1/2 oz fresh squeezed lime juice (organic is nice)
• handful of mulberrys

Add lime juice, simple syrup and mulberrys to cocktail shaker. Muddle berries until macerated (mushed up good). Add vodka and ice, shaking for ten seconds. Strain into martini glass. Garnish with diamonds. Or mulberries.

***To make simple syrup, add equal parts raw or organic sugar and water to leakproof container and shake every twenty minutes until dissolved (Recipe created by Gwen Sutherland Kaiser)

Here’s a thought—Raise pet silkworms. It’s easy, just feed em mulberry leaves. They are so cute! Unless you live within five miles of a GMO crop. In which case they are so dead.

Of all the fruits, it is the orange I think, that best captures the essence of Leo. It’s bright orange color, perfectly round shape and pleasant flavour emulate it’s ruler to a T- the Sun. Often used in fruit baskets, the mere sight of one seems to lift the most dejected soul’s spirit. And lemme tell ya, our Guru Leo enjoys nothing more than elevating the dark mood of a room with her shining presence and warm aura. Who needs Prozac when you have The Cat? Get one in your life now. Or you could just drink a Creamsicle Martini instead. purrrr… pure liquid sunshine ^..^

CREAMSICLE MARTINI
2 1/2 oz fresh squeezed orange juice (organic if ya can)
2 oz vanilla infused whiskey* (or Phillips Union Vanilla Whiskey)
1 1/2 oz SILK soy creamer
1/4 oz raw sugar simple syrup*

* Vanilla infused whiskey:
Slit whole vanilla bean in half and drop both haves into a 750 ml bottle of whiskey. Allow to sit in dark location for three weeks before using.

* Simple syrup is a mixture of 50% water and 50% sugar. just place the raw, unprocessed sugar and water in a leak-proof container and shake away, every twenty minutes or so, until the sugar is dissolved. Thanks to Jared Brown and Anastasia Miller for teaching me this too-easy-to-be-true method. (created by gwen sutherland kaiser)

THANKS TO MORSELS AND MUSINGS FOR HOSTING THIS MONTH’S MIXOLOGY MONDAY!

Like the stinging tail of a scorpion, so goes down the taste of this lovely libation. As my scotch-loving Pisces gramps would say, down the long red road. Smooth, refreshing and mildly sweet… until the rhubarb reminds you of it’s sign, with a sharp little love bite on the way out. Gotcha. Thought you could escape without rhubarb’s piercing nip, think again. We’re talking about a Scorpion plant here! Ruled by Pluto and co-ruled by Mars - intensity, sex, death, rebirth, strong will, possessiveness and vengefulness are all traits of the sign. That’s a party I wanna go to. I think. Another tell tale sign that rhubarb is owned by Mars, is it’s reddish color. So without further ado…

RHUBARB DAIQUIRI
3 oz white rum
4 tbs coconut milk
7 tbs stewed rhubarb*
1 c crushed ice
rhubarb stick for garnish

Puree all ingredients in blender until smooth. Garnish with stick of rhubarb. Guzzle.

*STEWED RHUBARB
Chop 6 c fresh rhubarb and combine with 1 1/2 c sugar and 1/2 c water in saucepot. Simmer until rhubarb is broken down and mushy. if mixture gets too thick, add more water. (Recipe created by Gwen Sutherland Kaiser).

Well here I was thinkin I’m all sorts of smart and stuff blending the likes of mixology and astrology… But no, not so much. really, really smart would be… let’s see… oh, like, say, coming up with a blend of mixology and nudity. now that’s the shiz. yeaaaahhhh…. bar chefs gone wild. That would be when I stumbled upon the BIKINI COCKTAIL GIRLS on myspace. Their page says they’re Gemini, and I gotta admit any girls crazy & sassy enough to pull off a site like this would have to be the sign of the wacky twin! wacky, soon to be millionaire twin, I might add ; )

Who wouldn’t want to observe the fine art of bartending from a beautiful woman, whilst her scant garments fall gently to the floor?

The site offers four levels:
KAMIKAZE $9.95/month
SCREWDRIVER $19.95/month
MARTINI $29.95/month
CHAMPAGNE & CAVIAR $49.95 for full site access

(But for the record, I.Z. is against the consumption of caviar due to it’s inexplicably cruel method of harvesting the fishes eggs.)

Hmmnn… do I see naked intoxicated bartending astrologers in the near future? lemme go check my chart…

Wow. Like, there’s a holiday for everything. No sooner did I take down my
WORLD COCKTAIL DAY decorations than I find out it’s WORLD ENVIRONMENT DAY on June 5th. Who knew?! Gotta say, I am so over our commercially driven celebratory days like Grandparent’s Podiastrist Day and Administrative Assisant’s Cat Day. But this one, I am all for. Anything to enlighten just one more person to the facts that we face. You’d be surprised how many are in denial. I know a few : ( So what better way to celebrate (other than to go Amish and turn off all the lights this evening) than to talk about how cocktails are affected by our environmental challenges.

Whisky Magazine reports that Islay whisky production is in jeopardy. The stills run on oil and the reserves are near depleted. Due to new legislation that is hoped to curve large oil spillages, tankers can not dock to deliver fuel and the island’s livelihood is at stake.

Treehugger (one of my fave blogs these days) reports that in Germany, a country that holds it’s beer so near to it’s heart, is dealing with a serious hops shortage. Due to farmers following the green stuff, corn and rapeseed are being grown to make biodiesel instead of barley and hops.

And worse, Saving The World, One Drink At A Time reports a similar problem with agave growers and Tequila. Farmers are burning their crops of Agave to grow a more profitable crop-corn! Adding insult to injury, you can pretty much bet that the corn is GM or genetically modified. (Remember? GMOs are BAD!) Then on top of it we have the news that ethanol may not even be good for the environment after all! Man, gotta tell ya, this saving the world thing ain’t easy. But like my chinese cookie fortune said, The Harder the Challenge, the Sweeter the Reward. I think the polar bears would agree. (image credit)

Wait. Don’t move. Another step. Before… consulting the planets for June!
This is an especially important month as it’s…. drum roll please…. mercury retrograde!!!! aaahhh! Run for cover, back up your computer and get those contracts signed right quick. Of course there’ll be cocktails. But what else does June have in store?
Find out by visiting these great sites:
Astrology Zone
North-Node
About: Astrology