This weekend went so fast. Like twighlight zone, trapped in a time warp fast. I had such grand plans for my sacred Saturday and Sunday too. Cast aside now, by the harsh grains of Father Time’s sand through his coked up hour glass. I tell you, this was no ordinary weekend. It can’t just be in my head. I KNOW that sometimes time ticks faster than other times. I WAS GOING TO… organize my disaster-area room (too many 2 ft high stacks of paper), take the dogs for hike (my husky hasn’t been on her treadmill in a week), do a little myspace friend-whoring, return long overdue emails, go for a jog (assuming my legs still remembered how) and make some kumquat puree to freeze for cocktails later this year. Here’s what I DID GET DONE: helped my horsie friend trim her pet’s hooves, perfect two cocktail recipes and arrange a photoshoot for them, water 40 newly planted, thirsty evergreen trees for two hours straight (ironically, the mintutes passed very slowly for this task), shopped (always, shopaholic here), unloaded some old couches I no longer wanted on craigslist (repurposing is GOOD), skimmed the sunday times (some terrific rhubarb recipes in the magazine section), and gone, pouf, over… Satan’s day—Monday—is here again! In case you had a similar experience this weekend, and are baffled like myself—rest assured. You can now put your mind at ease by drinking a giant, extremely stiff, martini. And… by reading this explanation i found explaining why time sometimes feels accelorated:

The following is written by Jarone Enoraj-

“As a Diviner, I have developed the ability to see many of the hidden aspects of life. I am able to see all the invisible energetic grids and patterns that make up your bodies, as well as the body of the planet.

I am in a position to alter all subtle energetic fields, for individuals and for the planet.. Through evolution and experimentation, we can evolve new patterns… and transform the matrix.

In time, you will also be able to play with the matrix, more consciously.

We have found that earth’s timelines are not stable, collective consciousness currently operates at a vast bandwidth of frequencies and this alters time and space a lot. Sometimes these timelines cross over 2012, and other times we go back to the 1990’s… and even earlier. Much of this happens all the time and many are not aware of this. Eventually the planets timelines will become more stable, as the collective consciousness evolves, so that those of you who are working with anchoring certain energies on the planet will have a more graceful experience in relation to this work.

Due to this instability of these timelines, certain scientific experiments in the field of quantum physics will have positive results one day, and negative the next. This is due to the lack of understanding in relation to the movement of timelines. If they were to work with diviners, they would get better results.

When we are operating beyond a 2012 timeline, we are operating in a more expanded energetic field, with more advanced chakra systems not to mention expanded holographic space.

Many people on earth believe that there is an amazing transformation taking place on planet earth, through the evolution of consciousness. Through our scientific and quantum research, we have confirmed this to be the case.”

Mystery solved! It’s official, our world’s messed up… Like I needed another reason to drink.

While organic beer and wine are relatively easy to find, hard liquor (in case you haven’t noticed) is not.

But LET’S TAWK about the former for a moment… If you’re a true ECO WHORE, you’ll want to completely cut the FOOD MILES out all together and brew your own moonshine! it’s actually not hard at all, and pretty damn fun.

One more note about wine… I recently discovered the most amazing device thanks to HENNESSY WINE & LIQUOR. In the past I have gone through countless plastic wine pumps which extract the oxygen out of your half empty bottle and save it reasonably well until your next craving. But they inevitebly break and become useless land fill fodder with a half life of about ten thousand years. Not to mention that China apparently owns the intellectual patent on them, so think of the fossil fuel in shipping those babies. Unable to stand the waste, I switched to the RABBIT. Not the vibrator, but the wine preserver. And I must say, I was a little dissapointed. Maybe I was using it wrong…I dunno. But it doesn’t matter, for my Prince Charming has arrived in the form of PRIVATE PRESERVE! Apparently, I need to get out more. Because It’s what all the fancy restauraunts use when they have to open a special vintage of wine, scotch, ect. to serve by the glass without spoiling the whole bottle. This miraculous invention works by spraying a layer of safe gas into the open bottle that acts as a seal. Made in the USA, NO CFC’S, RECYCABLE ALUMANUM—pure genious in a can. It can also be used to preserve anything sensitive to oxygen… even oil paint! Check your local wine shop and if they don’t stock it, ask them to start!

Now back to the extra good stuff—vodka! Thank GOD for Square One Vodka! The only organic spirit I’ve been able to procure without importing from Europe. Still unavailable to everyone, rest assured it is not a myth, it does exist! Keep pressing your local liquor store to carry it. They’ll in turn keep asking their distributor, who will hopefully keep their eyes open for it. Spirit companies need a licensed distributor in each and every state, so there is the chance that they don’t have one YET in your state : (
The Square One website lists which states carry it and which don’t. So far I’ve only been able to find it in upscale manhattan spirit shops. And as with most “green goods,” it’s a bit on the pricey side for forty somethin’ a pop. But the bottle is so beautifully designed, it’s almost worth it just for that. The taste is very smooth, but anything is better mixed with fresh fruit juice, so try an Earth Day Cocktail next chance you get. Hint-hint, COUNTER in nyc serves Square One martinis. THREE CHEERS FOR SQUARE ONE VODKA!

Those forward-living Brits have a nice sized assortment of organic liquor, partly because they’re certification standards are different from the States, and partly because they’re just more environmentally minded. Thankfully though, they’re sending some alcoholic goodies over, just for us! My personal favorite of this entire post, being the OTT cat lover that I am, is SNOW LEOPARD VODKA. They give 15% of it’s profits to wildlife charities, with an emphasis on the Snow Leopard. It is planned to become available later this summer… in the interim, we’ll just have to make do with the virtual stuff at snowleopardvodka.com

The following alcohols are currently AVAILABLE in the States. All of them have been awarded the very prestigious Prince of Wales’s Royal Warrant by His Royal Highness Prince Charles. Yup, as it turns out, the stealthy Charles has been a covert and hard core environmentalist all these years. Who knew?! a TRUE SCORPIO! Guess it’s time for me to stop hating him for cheating on Diana, huh? Again, ask your local liquor store to carry them and keep your fingers crossed. I encourage distributors to contact the importer… this is a growing market!

JUNIPER GREEN ORGANIC LONDON GIN
UTKINS U.K. 5 ORGANIC VODKA The only UNFILTERED vodka in the world!
HIGHLAND HARVEST ORGANIC SCOTCH WHISKEY
PAPAGAYO ORGANIC WHITE RUM
PAPAGAYO SPICED ORGANIC RUM

Well now that we have the contents of the glass all wrapped up, let’s get to the fun part—the container of the libational masterpiece, THE COCKTAIL GLASS! The best way to be green, is to repurpose. “Recycling is nice, but repurposing is where it’s at”—Shawn Dell Joyce, Sustainable Artist. Time for a little retail therapy at the Salvation Army! I picked this pretty little engraved gem up for a quarter.

Or, another noble option would be to purchase MADE IN THE USA, RECYCLED glassware by FIRE & LIGHT in California.

A note on straws: THEY SUCK! yes, of course they do you say. But really, they suck twice. Granted, they do facilitate the consumption of a Banana Daquari. But, what to do once you’ve finished with the drink? Well, throw it away duh! Straws are not recycled anywhere that I know of. Hence, destination landfill—future home of all straws. Will somebody please invent a corn, soy, or bamboo based straw all ready?! Oh wait, someone all ready did-
check em out at nat-urstore.com (just waiting for the GMO free variety now : )

And while we’re on the subject of corn, soy and agricultural crops… There is an URGENT message that I am compelled to disperse: G.M.O. crops are B.A.D. The Europeans and Japanese figured this out a while ago, but good ‘ole US of A is still in denial, Along with China. The latter governments claim there are minimal side effects of GMO crops. GMO stands for GENETICALLY MODIFIED ORGANISM. The DNA structure of a seed is altered to make crops pest resistant. Sounds good yes. But unfortunetely, it also makes those same crops resistant to other types of friendly insects. Such as our beautiful Monarch Butterly, and China’s Mulberry Silkworm. I know this for a fact because my teacher, Cheryl Kolander, of AURORA SILK ships silkworm larvae to teachers for school projects around the country. She has been recently getting reports of the larvae dying, which never occured before. She deduced that each report had occured within five miles of a GMO crop planting. In the entire United States, there is only one county in California that prohibits the use of GM crops. Now Mexico is even blaming the US for killing 75% of their precious Monarch Butterly Population. Noone has any idea how grave this situation could become. These are results that we see. Imagine what we are not seeing? Spread the word, and try to avoid purchasing anything made with GM seed. This is near impossible today as it has basically taken over the world, but for the record, you can be sure that anything Certified Organic does not contain GM seed. Oh, and say goodbye to silk and butterflies.

When you throw your cocktail party, supply your guests with paper napkins by MARCAL. Serious eco-points in purchasing these outstanding nappies. In fact, I give them THE ROYAL SEAL OF INTOXICATED ZODIAC. That’s how good they are! They are made with paper, from paper—100% recycled! They are made in our beautiful garden state (New Jersey)! Their parent company DOESN’T conduct useless, cruel, antiquated tests on innocent white bunnies! They’re inexpensive! Now what more can you ask for in a discardable face wipe?

Last but not least on my list of Green Cocktails, is the use of organic ingredients. A good rule of thumb is: If you can’t buy organic, buy local. If you can’t buy local, buy seasonal. My favorite place on the planet for incredibly awesome produce is Blooming Hill Farm, in New York’s Hudson Valley. They also set up at NYC’s Union Square Market & the Nyack Farmer’s Market (check their site for schedule). Swing by and check em out, you won’t be dissapointed. I’ve become so spoiled by their Mesclun mix that I am almost physically incapable of purchasing lettuce in a conventional grocery store. Even during winter, the farm grows every one of the thirty varieties of lettuce that make up their Mesclun mix.

To furthur save the planet (you can stop wretching now, I know, I’m an eco goodie two shoes) mix your cream-based cocktails with SOY CREAMER rather than regular cream. This is because the dairy industry works hand in hand with the meat industry. One could not exist without the other. Meat is expotentially worse for the environment than vegetables. Fact. Choose soy, but do be aware that even this magic bean is not without it’s controversy. The Amazon’s rainforest was felled for more than one soy plantation. Here’s the irony though: the soy beans aren’t just shipped back to us vegetarians. Nope, most of it is fed to our livestock! Whatever happened to good ‘ole grass? If the amazon’s soya crops were strictly for human consumption, the damage would be SO much less. And our cattle wouldn’t be forced to eat soybeans—which is not part of a typical bovine diet and gives them gastrointestinal pain. That’s why it’s more environmentally friendly to mix with soy creamer than real cream. (Photo Credit)

And any advertising agency worth their beans these days will make a light-hearted play on the social issues of our day, such as the environment. SVEDKA ran this ad in The New York Times Styles Section (one of my favorite things to read BTW.) But, to really help the environment, the sexy robot SVEDKA_GRL should be drinking her vodka neat, rather than up, to save the energy it takes to make the ice. Unless she’s using solar panels to supply energy to her home, which in that case, she can guiltlessly add an iceberg into that glass.

This page, of a four page spread, for DIESEL ran in VANITY FAIR’S “green” issue. It’s really funny actually. Funny, scary and potentially accurate. Note the Empire State Building half underwater as the hot chick pours, what we can only assume to be a Gin & Tonic, into her Adonis’ thirsty mouth.

This last ad is just SPOOKY. I took it myself while on the West Side Highway in Manhattan. We’ve come to rely on Kenny boy to bring us politically creative, and humorous advertising. But what the hell are those grey contrail-like streams up in the air above the billboard? My camera lens was clean, and each photo I have shows the streams in different positions. Ironically, an industrial chimney sat adjacent to the billboard (which I cut out of the picture.) I am assuming that these streams of smoke are continually released into the air, and for some reason, were captured on my film. Niiiiiice…. Does anyone have any feedback on this? Please leave me a comment and enlighten me!

The renowned astro-physician, Nicholas Culpepar, states that “Venus challengeth this herb for her own. The burdock leaves are cooling and moderately drying.” Mostly known for their clingy and very annoying prickly burrs, the burdock weed, or ahem, plant, enjoys a limited use in our western society. That is, apart from giving us a good work out to extricate the burrs from the dogs tail! The ingenious inventor of Velcro was inspired by this ambivalent plant to make his millions. I believe there are numerous medicinal uses for burdock, one of which is purifying the blood, as Anita from Married With Dinner kindly reports. But I only know of one cocktail, and I present you with that now:

BURDOCK BUBBLY:
- burdock syrup*
- drops Angostura bitters
- champagne (the drier the better as the syrup will make it sweet)
In champagne glass, pour 1/2 oz burdock syrup with four drops bitters. Top with champagne.

*BURDOCK SYRUP:
Peel and chop a root of burdock. Place in saucepot with 2 cups water and 1 cup sugar. Bring to boil and allow to simmer until liquid is thicker than when it started. Strain into final storage container, adding 1 oz vodka for preservative. Store in fridge.

Recipe created by Gwen Sutherland Kaiser

ALSO TRY: BURDOCK & CARROT KINPIRA
THANKS TO MARRIED WITH DINNER FOR HOSTING THIS MONTH’S MIXOLOGY MONDAY!

THE COCKTAIL GLASS MIGHT BE THE ACCESSORY OF THE SEASON!

SEEN IN HARRODS’ WINDOWS:

SEEN IN ZARA’S WINDOWS:

Better get ready yankees before this trend crosses the pond… Stock up on cocktail glasses for next season!

I can’t tell you the number of times people have asked me how I thought up the idea of combining astrology with cocktails. Being a brutally honest Capricorn, I must give credit where its due and admit that it wasn’t entirely my idea. Leos are traditionally very creative types, and our old family friend, Nancy, was no exception. Nancy’s sister, and only living relative, was mentally ill and holed up in a hospice somewhere. Nancy’s boyfriend Sam had no living relatives either. So every Christmas, Easter & Thanksgiving they would spend it with my family. As unique as Nancy was, Sam is even more of a character than she. He actually survived a Nazi concentration camp and made it through the Holocaust to walk through the welcoming gates of Ellis Island. Sam Smith was the name given to him by the immigration officials after they couldn’t pronounce his real name. The last time I saw them, Sam, a Taurus, was helping Nancy get around. Her age was catching up to her, finally, at 94! The 92-year-old Sam looked more like a 72 year old. Now don’t tell me that doesn’t speak volumes about the strength of Taureans. Aaaanyway, Nancy gave my sisters and I many interesting hand-me-down Christmas gifts. Some were keepers, and some weren’t. Among them were old magazines, books, illustration annuals, various hand made gifts ranging from paper mache devils to clown face pillows, old souvenirs, and anything with a cat on it. One time I received a booklet that Nancy had written when she was young called “THE MARTINI HOROSCOPE.” I always knew that Nancy loved her booze from the empty bottles left in her wake every holiday. But apparently, she was an astrology buff as well. I enjoyed reading the hand-typed pamphlet and tucked it away in my closet where it lived for at least a decade. It was only unearthed a few years ago while I was sorting through my things. I pulled it aside and made three copies of it to give to my martini-drinking friends. I never did get around to delivering the copies of the booklet to them (it’s the thought that counts, right?) Unfortunately, There was an awful fire in my parent’s house where the copies and original booklet were being stored and everything was lost. This includes my beloved cats, Pikachu and Cutter. Upon digging through the rubble, the copies I made of Nancy’s booklet were one of the few things to survive. I took that for a sign (pun not intended, really) and have continued the idea today in the form of Intoxicated Zodiac™. For this reason, I dedicate this site to Nancy (who has since passed), Pikachu (oreo) and Cutter (tabby).

COPY OF NANCY’S BOOKLET, “THE MARTINI HOROSCOPE,” THAT SURVIVED THE FIRE (SORRY GEMINIS, YOUR PAGE DID NOT)

Nothing to do with Astrology. Nothing to do with Cocktails. Apart from having one too many last night (hence, the baggy eyes and ruddy schnozz.) But vanity is my nemesis, and I digress. Why, you ask, am I posting something about Aura Photos? Cuz it’s just so damn cool, that’s why! If I were still intoxicated at the time of the actual photo shoot, supposedly the colors would be almost absent, and would only reappear after the alcohol left my system. Our auras can be affected negatively and positively by environmental factors, our own moods and even physic vampirism (hello, can I say ex-boyfriend?!)They change patterns and colors throughout our lives. Psychic Girl™ says that our auras are actually made up of all different colors. And each color, the location of that color, along with any spots, shadows and dents has a meaning. An aura photo can be helpful in diagnosing where you may have a blockage in your life, or which direction you could benefit from growing in. It can be interpreted — just like an Astrological chart! Howie at Healing Cottage read mine for me and here’s what I got: The dents appearing on the top of the white arch above my head are some of my spirit guides or guardian angels. And the red on my chest indicates my intensely emotional nature. ( So true… I’m either So glad, SO sad or SO mad) The blueish green hue immediately surrounding my head means that I prefer to have peace & tranquility in every aspect of my life. I can’t believe there are people that don’t! On the lower right side there is a faint shadow, which means there is a close female spirit around me, helping me. From the presence of white in my aura, my aura reader told me that I was living my life using my upper chakras rather than my lower. This is great for lots of things like creating cocktails and casting charts, but not so good for getting earthly matters accomplished. I was advised to imagine primal red earth energy surging in through my feet and all the way through my body and out my head to aid in the accomplishment of life’s duties. Gotta remember that next time I’m having difficulty finishing a post! Oh, and the martini glass above my head dictates my need for a nightly cocktail! So, cheers to happy, healthy auras and drinking in moderation : )