Before the discovery of the planet Uranus, Aquarius was believed to be ruled by Saturn. Hence today, Aquarius is said to be co-ruled by both of these planets. The planet of austerity, scrimping and saving, Saturn’s palette generally prefers tart, burned, bitter and astringent flavors. If you’re eating something that makes your mouth pucker, there’s a good chance that particular food is ruled by Saturn. The key lime is the smallest, sour, citrus fruit. One taste of it’s juice will have you draw in your lips. It’s smaller size is indicative of Saturn’s constrictive quality. As Aquarius is one of the most fickle signs, only a very special cocktail will wet her appetite. A slice of Key Lime Pi would be hard for the most discerning Aquarius to turn down, especially since she should feel a special affinity to the main ingredient. Not typically a foodie (or drinkie), once you get her going, she’s a hard train to stop. She’ll want this Key Lime Pi Squared to the umpth power! From cheers to eternity… Vive la cocktail!

KEY LIME PI SQUARED

INGREDIENTS:
- 2 oz Vanilla vodka*
- 2 oz SILK soy creamer or cream
- 2 oz Licor 43
- 1 oz fresh squeezed key lime juice (regular limes will also work)
graham crackers (organic & whole wheat to keep the health up) or extra key lime for garnish

DIRECTIONS:
Pour lime juice, vanilla infused vodka and soy creamer into an filled cocktail shaker and shake well. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass rimmed with crushed graham cracker. Or, a key lime perched on the rim will also do the trick nicely.

*Slit whole vanilla bean in half and drop both haves into a 750 ml bottle of vodka. Allow to sit in dark location for three weeks before using.

(Recipe from FireWater Bar, N.J.)

All though today the sign of Pisces is considered to be under the rule of Neptune, it was originally thought to be under Jupiter’s domain. Hence Pisces can now be interpreted as having two rulers: Jupiter and Neptune. Discovered in 1846, Neptune is considered one of the “outer planets” and had no place in medieval medical astrology, upon which western herbal medicine is based. Due to it’s large size, the grapefruit is under the dominion of Jupiter. It’s branches are extremely thorny however, lending a feisty Martian quality to the Grapefruit tree. But her plus size ensures the grapefruit’s reign as Jupiter’s full-sized queen of citrus fruit. Jupiter is quite literally the biggest planet in our solar system, and so is her appetite for everything from knowledge to martinis. She will push the envelope to the max, max out her plastic, feel the highest of highs, or the lowest of lows. It is the planet of excess, and for Pisces that often means, excessive drinking. So let’s cut to the chase shall we Dear Pisces? Without furthur ado…

DAME GRAPEFRUIT

INGREDIENTS:
- 3 oz fresh squeezed grapefruit juice
- 1 1/2 oz Campari
- 3/4 oz simple syrup*

DIRECTIONS:
Add Campari, grapefruit juice and simple syrup to ice filled shaker and shake vigorously. Strain into cocktail glass and garnish with oversized peel of grapefruit, if you’re feeling Martha-like.

*Simple syrup is a mixture of 50% water and 50% sugar. just place the sugar and water in a leak-proof container and shake away, every twenty minutes or so, until the sugar is dissolved. No need for sticky saucepots and hot stoves here! Thanks to Jared Brown & Anastasia Miller for that ingenious tip!

(Recipe created by Gwen Sutherland Kaiser)

ALSO TRY: Campari Syrup Over Grapefruit

We love trees here at INTOXICATED ZODIAC. You can be reminded of this every time you strain your little eyeballs to read our challenging white text against our black is the new green background! As it turns out, black screens use less wattage than white. So don’t hate us because we’re environmentally beautiful. Yes, you might have to update your glasses prescription a little earlier than anticipated. but, you’ll see more trees!

And to those of you who are using a laptop right now, well, you’re just ringin’ up the ECO POINTS! Not only are laptops easier to cart around in your tote bag, but they also use less energy than their, ahem, attractive desktop counterparts. This is because they are not permanently plugged in. Unless of course you’re like my sister who hasn’t moved the laptop off the computer desk since she got it.