Monday, January 29, 2007

take the Zodiac Cocktail Survey – click here

zodiac_cock_surv1.gif
To participate, click above link.

Then, scroll down to bottom comment and type inside box.

List your astrological sign (rising sign too, if you know it) and your favorite libation (s).

Don’t forget to hit “submit comment”

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac





Friday, January 19, 2007

seduction by cocktail horoscopes by intoxicated zodiac™

Sex and alcohol are so often intertwined. But how to whet the appetite of the sign you’re trying to woo? By warming the cockles of their heart with cocktails, a love fest will ensue.

seduction-aries.gifARIES
Aries’ cocktail doesn’t need to be fancy. But it does need to be fast as well as strong (kind of like the forward Ram’s sexual style.) Cocktail shots were invented for Aries. So were showy flambeed libations. Those six-course Italian meals and long drawn out bottles of wine were not. Aries wants excellent wait service more than they want an expertly balanced tipple. They have no preference for classic cocktails or innovative creations. As long as their drink tastes good, looks appetizing and arrives promptly, that’s good enough for them. More time to get to the important (fun) stuff, like a quickie in the restroom! If you do end up on a date with the Ram for the night, slipping the maitre de a twenty is worth it’s weight in gold. Soon you’ll be in the back seat of a dark taxicab, exploring new territories of flesh. Aries is the ultimate conquistador!

seduction-taurus.gifTAURUS
Quite the opposite of Aries, for Taurus slow service is tolerable, but poor drinks are not. The luxury-loving Bull wants only the best in the most tasteful way possible. We’re not talking flashy concoctions here, but understated elegance and high quality ingredients. Don’t waste your time and theirs ordering a giant margarita rimmed with colorful salt and an oversized hunk of fruit. The Bull’s sophisticated buds will cut through the bull, and know instantaneously if it’s good or not, despite its illusory appearance. They would rather not imbibe a subpar cocktail. Taureans are traditionalists at heart, so treat them to classically mixed cocktails done right, in a pleasant setting where they can slowly savor each and every succulent sip. Mmnnn… that’s just a prelude to the sensual, unhurried and hedonistic lovemaking to come.

seduction-gemini.gifGEMINI
Bring on the flamboyant tiki drinks, the Tom Cruise cocktails bartender and brush up on your tall tale storytelling! Gemini doesn’t just like to be entertained, they need it. Wanna get in this fly girl’s pants? That’s easy - providing you can get her into the trendiest and chicest celebrity watering hole you can muster the connections to. Now’s the time to call in that favor and get on that exclusive list. Once there, experiment with a different specialty cocktail, each round to further stimulate the twin’s ADD mind. Also, be sure to have a handy list of bars to hit after the novelty and excitement of the one you’re in wears off. Be careful not to exhaust yourself entertaining this party girl. You’ll need to leave some room for Gemini’s bedtime dessert, ghhhrrr… Sextini? Make it a double.

seduction-cancer.gifCANCER
The celestial homebody, this sign often prefers to just stay in and sip port by the fire. In lieu of that, try the lounge of a swanky hotel — the ‘W’ will be fine. This way, the lounge is only an elevator away from a temporary hotel room-home. Cancer prefers delicate drinks to match their delicate palette. Each libation should be as subtle as their conservative taste — perfectly balanced, without any one overwhelming flavor. A Gimlet in particular will go down real smooth. Too smooth… all the more easy to take the next round back to a room. Break through that hard Cancerian shell with a probing back massage, a bottle of champagne, a pile of crab cakes, and some sweet nothings whispered in Cancer’s ear. Now this is a recipe for some serious sloppy sex! You’ll be having breakfast in bed before you know it.

seduction-leo.gifLEO
To show this top cat a good time, you’ll need to think over the top in every conceivable way. This is no time to cheap out! Any offering to this noble sign should be quite grandiose to be considered at all worthy. Get your wallet out and start with the maitre dis. Secure the best table in the house, or at least let Leo know that you almost died trying. They’ll appreciate the gesture. Wooing was invented for Leo, and the good news is they’re not picky. Leo will accept the following: ridiculously extravagant culinary concoctions and high-end bottle service consisting of Cristal, Dom Perignon or 100-year-old wine. See, not picky at all! Simply treat them like the divine entity they believe themselves to be, and this pussy will be licking your private parts before you can say meow.

seduction-virgo.gifVIRGO
Make it neat. Not the scotch, the table! Pray that it’s squeaky clean and the coasters are new. A grossly stained coaster might just end the date right then and there. Virgo will taste a poorly made drink a mile away. Nothing except pure goodness will do for the celestial virgin. Don’t try to skate by, for the queen of perfection will notice and administer a demeaning black mark on her invisible scorecard. This sign is less likely than any other to tolerate a syrupy neon green Appletini. Make sure it’s the real deal with freshly extracted apple juice and fresh squeezed lemon. Demanding? Yup. Worth it? Every bit. Historically, the coveted virgin has always been extremely desirable. Well, nothing’s changed. Go the extra mile to ensure a flawlessly choreographed night, and you’ll find yourself living the fantasy of so many for so long — bedding the elusive and sacred virgin.

seduction-libra.gifLIBRA
Thou art beautiful dear Libra, and we both know it. You’re just a beautiful drinking slut… admit it! But Libra never will, for they are always innocent. Innocent of breaking your heart, innocent of obscene flirting, innocent of ordering off the reserve list (the bartender misunderstood me!). The laid back scales will always get their way, and you’ll always be more than happy to give it to them. They are the charming and gracious diplomats of the zodiac, whose world is wrapped around their little finger. But back to the drinking slut part… Libra has an extraordinarily refined and discerning palette. Like their self, an appealing tipple must be visually pleasing, tastefully balanced and good to the last drop (of which there will be many). I’m thinking here, straight up Margarita, mixed to perfection. A night out with the scales almost always involves delightful conversation, succulent libations, and superb sex. Libra is a guaranteed good time!

seduction-scorpio.gifSCORPIO
Scorpio lives life intensely. They tend to like their cocktails that way too. Strong, overpowering flavors are understood and appreciated. Serve a burn-your-face-off Bloody Mary, or a bittersweet chocolate concoction so decadent it should be illegal. Steer clear of generic drinks — unless it’s titled something like Sex On The Beach, or Long Slow Comfortable Screw. Choose a theme and go with it, hard-core. Scorpio can see the real deal a mile away, so don’t cut any corners on the bar tab, and don’t overdo the small talk. Prepare meaningful material in which to engage the Scorpion’s interest ahead of time and you shall be rewarded. Take them to an S&M bar for the night and you shall be very richly rewarded. Merely observing other’s antics while sipping an intensely flavorful tipple will get any Scorpio’s mouth wet. They are the sign of sex and would love more than anything to give it to you.

seduction-sagg.gifSAGITTARIUS
The drinks don’t have to be rated five star Zagat, but they do have to be impressive in appearance. And plentiful. A mammoth Pina Colada (or six of them) is all that Sag requires to be content. Hoping to get lucky? Your chances are good — Sagittarius is the sign of luck! Strategically nurse your drink and hope the centaur politely follows your lead. (Easier said than done.) They are known for their blunt candor, and when Sagittarius wants another libation, they’ll ask for one without hesitation. In any event, the question is not will you end up in bed, but in what state? Sag is the ultimate party animal that lives — and drinks — in the now. Not five hours from now. Thanks to their boatload of innate spontaneity, they are the consummate fun sign. But a comatose lover is never much fun, so force the man-horse to pace themselves and conserve energy for your sinfully succulent late night-nightcap. champagne strawberries in all the right places, if you know what I mean.

seduction-cappie.gifCAPRICORN
No need to impress the goat with flashy overpriced libations, and uber trendy bars, although that certainly won’t hurt. The best way to win the cold steely heart of the workaholic goat is to patronize a sophisticated establishment, or have a very valid reason for not doing so. Then, order with confidence and impress them with your extensive libational knowledge (a crash course in bartending isn’t a bad idea). The goat’s got taste, too much of it in fact — they’re snobby. They’ll cringe to be seen in a lame bar, and they’ll shudder if they must imbibe cheap wine or beer (unless they’re picking up the tab — somehow that’s ok). Capricorn is into keeping up appearances. Be it imported stout, a micro-brewed limited edition or a rare scotch, that drink better have an aura of specialty about it. Don’t disappoint Capricorn with foolish cocktail blunders, at least not more than once. They’ll forgive you, but only because they want you to succeed at impressing them. They really want to show you the inside of their love den! A little chilly on the outside, Capricorn is volcanic on the inside. May you enjoy their eruption…

seduction-aquarius1.gifAQUARIUS
What a contradiction, planning an evening with the unplannable sign of Aquarius. The Water Bearer despises following itineraries. They are the zodiacal eccentrics — and don’t even try to guess what makes them tick! For what’s it’s worth, here’s my advice: You’ll need to find a different kind of place for this different kind of sign. Perhaps an art gallery opening, where the visual and mental stimulation are as free-flowing as the wine and cheese. When they’re bored with Picasso, move onto a dive bar on the wrong side of the tracks. This will hold their perverse interest. Drink 10 cent beers for an hour and hit the road again — the latest trendoid bar is calling their name! Order an innovative cocktail — something that utilizes the new molecular mixology techniques would be ideal. A sodium alginate and calcium chloride Rose Vanilla Dacqueri will keep Aquarius intrigued, and they’ll keep you around for a midnight romp. Get ready for a crazy, sexy, wild ride…

seduction-pisces.gifPISCES
Get a drink in their hand, like yesterday. A welcome libation will relax the anxious Fish, to which alcohol is like oxygen to mere mortals. By the way, the other Fish is quite comfortable without a drink, thank you very much. It’s this constant yin yang pull that makes Pisces a Pisces. The trouble — or fun, depending on how you look at it — comes when both fish decide to get simultaneously sloshed. That’s the Piscean mega-party this sign is famous for. Should you manage to catch this slippery lover in your net, enjoy their dreamy and magical company before they swim into the night, never to be seen. Well-mannered, they’ll drink almost any cocktail served them. However, the fish’s discriminating taste will derive the most pleasure from refreshing, fruity concoctions. Pineapple Sage Margarita? Cilantro Swizzle? Tease them with tipples and tie them up tightly. This smooth operator likes playing the game.

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac

shaken in Astrology, Sex



Wednesday, January 10, 2007

more astrology links…

susan.pngMONTHLY HOROSCOPES

astrology-dot-com.pngFREE RISING SIGN!

moon1.pngCURRENT MOON PHASE

om.pngDAILY HOROSCOPES

blogger.pngASTROLOGY BLOGGER

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac

shaken in Astrology


Monday, January 1, 2007

more Cocktail Links…

cu.pngCUPTAILS

bamboo1.pngDR. BAMBOO

organic-wine.pngORGANIC WINE JOURNAL
tiki.pngTRADER TIKI
dave.png DAVE’S DRINKS
uder.pngUNDERHILL LOUNGE
explore.pngEXPLORE THE POUR
drink-boston.pngDRINK BOSTON
rum.png SCOTT’S RUM PAGES
jim.png JIMMY’S COCKTAIL HOUR
grand.pngA GRANDIOSE BLOG
speed.pngMOVING AT THE SPEED OF LIFE
pegu.png THE PEGU BLOG
companio.pngA COMPANION FOR THE YOUNG IMBIBER
drinkin.png DRINKIN JOE
coowoo.pngCOOWWOOW
kegworks.png KEG WORKS
fermentarium.png FERMENTARIUM
beer.pngTHE BOTTOM SHELF
science.png SCIENCE OF DRINK
bar1.pngBAR STORIES
about1.pngABOUT: COCKTAILS
cork.pngTHE CORKDORK
ct.png COCKTAIL TIMES
bill.pngBILL DOWD
miss.pngMISS CHARMING
cock.png MY BRILLIANT MISTAKES (partial cocktail content)

odd.png ODD ANGEL (partial cocktail content)

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac

shaken in Tipple Talk


Monday, January 1, 2007

Under the Influence - What’s Your Zodiac Cocktail Personality?

cap-glyph.gifARIES: Dare Me To Drink!
(March 29-April 19)
Unless you’re in the mood for a good, emergency room–style, stomach pumping, I’d stay away from any Aries–initiated drinking games. The baby of the zodiac wants to be king of the mountain at any cost. I say, pick your battles, win the war! Suggest instead, a round of body shots for all. The energetic ram will dizzy herself silly, licking peach schnapps off stranger’s various body parts. The best part, she won’t even realize you’ve only had 2 to her 7! Remember this formula: Aries + alcohol = loads of mindless fun

taurus-glyphs.gifTAURUS: A Strong Spirit Deserves Strong Spirits!
(April 20-May 21)
Stirred not shaken. Nope, James certainly wasn’t a Taurus. This stylish bull quite likes stopping to the smell the rose martinis. Savoring each artfully balanced sip, as a proper cocktail should be enjoyed! And she’ll finish it when she finishes it, dammit–don’t rush the slow and steady bull. A lover of earthly comforts, she can soak in the atmosphere at a local pub, or dine in a gourmet establishment–taking pleasure from both. As long as she’s eating good food, with good friends. Taurus loves food, drink and company, in no particular order. All though stubborn at times, she is essentially easy going and a pure pleasure to party with.

gemini-glyphs.gifGEMINI: Double Drinking Trouble!
(May 22-June 21)
The sign of the very social twins, these girls know where to go, what to wear, what to say and who to do. Oops, did I say that? Gemini wants to see and be seen, especially with a haute couture cocktail in her hand. Always game for painting the town a very wild shade of red, hangin with this fly girl is a guaranteed good time. That is, if she hasn’t double booked herself with someone else and left you in the dust. Word to the wise: always have a plan B when this A–list party girl’s involved!

cancer-glyphs.gifCANCER: Cocktail Sweet Cocktail!
(June 22-July 22)
Alcohol; the great truth serum. Take care when divulging your innermost secrets on a drunken girl’s night out. For this retentive creature has the mind of an elephant that never forgets. Long after you might have, she will remember those skeletons in your closet you long ago shared. And don’t think Cancer will be as forthcoming with you. This is one clam–shelled crab that doesn’t easily open up. Unless it’s opening up a bottle of gin, rum, vodka; this crab’s not picky–as long as it’s at least 50 proof. Something about the water of the sea i guess… another sign that loves to drink! A homebody at heart, coaxing her out of the house is SO worth the effort.

leo-glyphs.gifLEO: Top Shelf Pussy Cat!
(July 23-August 22)
All herald the mighty king. and she will treat you with respect, honor you with friendship, and indulge you with spirit (top notch, i might add). This ferocious and grandiose kitty cat wants only to be loved. Well, idolized, worshipped and cow–towed to won’t hurt things either! Leading by example, Leo wisely sheds upon her comrades that which she wishes in return: flamboyant concoctions, flashy libations, and the latest and greatest in entertainment. Limousines, 5 star ratings, velvet ropes and Cristal were all made for Leo. This cool cat IS the party. Hers is a guest list you want to be on.

virgo-glyphs.gifVIRGO: No Virgin Drinks!
(August 23-September 2)
Especially if it’s made with fresh squeezed fruits and veggies, so the beautiful Virgin can get her vitamin C. After all… a drink a day, keeps the doctor away. The health nut of the zodiac, this is one sign who isn’t quite as likely to be worshipping the porcelain god at four in the morn as the others. Virgo is a calm, cool, collected, confident and calculating chick–which makes for a whole lot of sexy. Usually in complete control of herself, an extra round of carrot juice cocktails is advised for Virgo’s inner party animal to come out and play.

libra-glyphs.gifLIBRA: To Drink Or To Drink?
(September 23-October 22)
If any sign is guilty of consistent and shameless drunken flirting, it’s Libra. This sign would flirt with a goldfish. Libras just wanna have fun, is that so wrong? Why no, it’s actually quite awesome! Chillin with the scales is always a rockin good time. Just don’t give her too many specialty cocktails to choose from… for she’ll agonize over choosing the perfect tipple. Then after it arrives, she’ll comment on how the other one would been made a better choice. Such is life for Libra. A constant weighing process of each and every decision, no matter how large or small. One question Libra never has to weigh in on: should she drink or not? HINT: it’s never not!

scorpio-glyphs.gifSCORPIO: Martinis, Like Revenge, Are Best Served Cold!
(October 23-November 22)
If this lethal sexpot feels she’s been had, betrayed, or worse–stiffed on a drink… beware! Scorpio can be a serious bottom–shelf bitch. And she will get you back; if only for serving past it’s date beer. This is the sign of intensity. Intensity of love. Intensity of hate. Intensity of sex. Intensity of intoxication. Intensity of anything at all. So, Believe you me, when the scorpion decides they’re gonna get snockered, they will imbibe with a fervent commitment that would earn gold in Beijing. TRUST ME, you want to be there for it.

sag-glyphs.gifSAGITTARIUS: The Party Hunter!
(November 23-December 22)
If there’s a party to be found, the armed centaur will find it. She will hunt it down like the wild animal it is and party it to death. This is the BIG sign, as in Anna Nicole Big. Decadence in all hedonistic areas is mandatory. Food, Sex, Money, Fun, Sloth and Drink–in largely unhealthy doses–are all Sagittarius wants. You can’t help but love them; with their huge hearts, optimistic thinking, expansive mind, generous wallets, and top shelf open bar. No party is complete until the party hunting, man–horse has arrived.

capricorn-glyphs.gifCAPRICORN: Work Hard, Drink Harder!
(Dec 22–Jan 20)
Let them eat cake, and drink martinis. Capricorn might tend to snobby elitism, but she also tends to her carefully chosen circle of friends with love, loyalty and high–quality, name–brand alcohol. As capricious as her name implies, Capricorn is either miserably tethered to a wretched post, or scaling the highest, most euphoric mountain peak. She’s either on, or off. Catch her on a bad night, hide the sharp objects. Catch her on a good, stock up on gin. For she is the cynical comedian of the zodiac, and her sharp and witty humor becomes drier with each extra–dry martini she drinks. This goat’s got a fishtail for a reason!

aqua-glyphs.gif AQUARIUS: The Liquor Bearer… Vodka Is The Sacred Water Of Life!
(Jan 21–Feb 18)
Airy Aquarie. For thou art quite contrary. Liquor or leave her–Aquarius’ eccentric quirks will either endear her to friends–or just the opposite. Aquarius is the bizarre, “out–there” thinker, ponderer, flaky, fun-lovin’ girl of the zodiac. Yes i said flake; and if constellations had hair, she’d be blonde. Sometimes it’s difficult for Aquarius to put her thoughts into words and she often times keeps those brilliant gems of genius to herself. That’s when the miraculous elixir of life comes in handy, other wise known as vodka! Keep the Cosmos comin’ for an Aquarian earful and a brilliantly exiting night.

pisces-glyphs.gifPISCES: Alcohol Is A Food Group!
(February 19–March 20)
As my finned friends know, happiness sometimes lies in the bottom of a bottle. Pisces; the sign of two fishes swimming in opposite directions. Those born with a Pisces presence in their chart are prone to alcoholism more than any other sign. One fish aspires to own the rare corals, expensive pearls and exotic treasures of the sea. While the other struggles against the current, painfully aware that there is so much more to life. Even the most grounded and ambitious Pisces will occasionally seek escape from their compassionate and burdensome emotions. For she is the most sympathetic sign of all–and for hard times like these, hard liquor is recommended.

mixed by Gwen-Intoxicated Zodiac

shaken in Astrology







Copyright © 2007 Intoxicated Zodiac LLC

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Imbibe wisely!