the liquid muse herself asked if moi if i’d care to contribute an original cocktail to her latest book, THE BUBBLY BRIDE. perhaps you’ve heard of PREGGATINIS by natalie bovis-nelson? that was her first book. both are good reads with useful material to boot.

with wedding season right around the corner, you’d be wise to stock up on copies of THE BUBBLY BRIDE. for $16.95, every star struck lover deserves a tipple how-to as cute as this one! cheers to the happy couple…

studies show that inhaling lavender impairs our mental processing ability. in other words, it’s relaxing… good for a wedding? chill out bridezilla! it’s also kind of funny that lavender belongs to virgo, the virgin ; ) white wedding with lavender cocktails–how perfect!

CHILL PILL:
1 oz lavender bud-infused vodka
1 oz lavender bud syrup
1/2 oz fresh lemon juice
lavender water spray or rinse
lavender soda

combine lavender bud-infused vodka, lavender bud syrup, lemon juice and shake over ice. prepare champagne flute with rinse of lavender water, or mist inside of glass with lavender water spray. strain into lavender-misted / lavender-rinsed flute and top with fair amount of lavender soda. stir briefly and serve. garnish with sprig of lavender or purple flower if available.

lavender vodka: infuse 750 ml vodka with 3 cups dried lavender buds (available at health food stores or online) allow to sit for several days and strain.

lavender syrup: bring to boil 1 cup sugar, 1 cup water, 1/4 cup dried lavender buds and remove from heat. allow to infuse for 1/2 hour and strain. add splash vodka to act as preservative and store in fridge. note that using white sugar over raw will give a prettier pink color, while the latter will make for a darker hue.

lavender water: available at health food stores or online. for greater control and speed, i prefer misting over rinsing of glass. transfer lavender water into small spray bottle that is dark in color and store in fridge.

sick of red bull and its hundred copy cats? well you’re in luck, because a new age of soda is upon us! first we had slow food (cool), then slow cocktails (awesome), then slow fashion (thank you god), and now slow soda (i’ve heard it all). meet DRANK BEVERAGE and MARY JANE’S RELAXING SODA…

both promise to “slow your roll,” and “focus a stress-filled life” respectively. sign me up!

MARY JANE’S Relaxing Soda contains Kava Extract and Passionflower. Effects are sometimes compared to that of alcohol, but do not cause side effects like drowsiness, “beer goggles”, tough-guy syndrome, or hangovers. Some have also compared the effects to marijuana (hence the name, Mary Jane) however, there are no side-effects such as, laziness, 2 am pizza runs, black light posters, or handcuffs. Recod for:
• Long Day • First Date • Road Rage • Job Interview • Deadbeat boyfriends • Lousy girlfriends • Long trip • Public Speaking

DRANK contains a combination of Valerian Root, Rose Hips, and Melatonin designed to “slow your roll” after a hectic day. A calming beverage, Drank is formulated to relax the body, mind, and soul. Drank is the perfect lifestyle beverage for those who can appreciate extreme relaxation. So grab a Drank and Slow Your Roll!

visit STUFF BOSTON here.

muddling all those mojitos, caipirinhas, Caipiroskas, or what have you can get a tad tedious. especially when your friends come over and all want a drink at the same time. as staples would say hit the easy button, oh god kill me for reciting corporate tag lines. but pitcher drinks are soooo easy. you can spend time actually talking to your guests instead of your muddler! this recipe here’s a cinch—just right to make in a pinch…

oh, wait, did i almost forget to convey the irrefutable fact that blueberry is ruled by jupiter, ruler of sagittarius? my, that would have been a travesty… cheers sagittarius!

PIE HOLE:
one 16 pz can blueberry pie filling
1/4 tsp lemon cooking oil
4 cups vodka
cream soda

stir ingredients well, except for the cream soda, in a pitcher. pack glass with ice, fill half with mixture. top with cream soda and stir. serve with a fork.

it’s not that my biological clock is ticking or anything, because i’m pretty sure i’m not in possession of one, but these glasses are too cute for words. get a set of eight plastic crystal cut wine goblets and tumblers for $4 at ikea. perfect for the little girl, or little boy, with a birthday coming up!

two valentine’s bevies that slithered across my desk:

1) FEVER: this non-carbonated herbal fusion is infused with only 100% natural ingredients. “FEVER heightens a persons euphoric state, while also stimulating the body and providing a natural source of energy.”

i had the KIWI STRAWBERRY, and it was good… i do believe it even stimulated me! at the time i drank it, i was in my booth at the jacob javitz center and thankfully i managed to control my lust. i simply channeled that energy into a killer sales pitch instead of…$#*!!:) considering that almost every buyer there was either a gay man or a straight woman, it wasn’t HARD to do. however, if i had consumed this delicious, libido-enhancing libation at any other time, well, i doubt i would have been able to control myself and the erotic FEVER this drink would have unleashed from the deepest caverns of my carnal self. shake things up this valentine’s day-mix it in a sexy nightcap.

2) LOVE POTION #9: this tasty cordial bears the perfect name for that fast approaching sexiest of days. oh yes, my fave, valentine’s day. i suggest pouring this fruity, tasty, sweet, delicious liqueur all over your lover’s sweet spots. oh how will you clean up that desirable mess? of course i strongly recommend preparing a valentine’s day COCKtail with it too… i do believe that LOVE POTION #9 is a guaranteed good time no matter how you use it.

“LOVE POTION #9 is a 60-proof, distilled spirits specialty that was developed over the course of five years and almost 1,800 trial-and-error formulations before its blend of 20 exotic tropical fruit flavors, including mango, peach, chocolate, vanilla, pear, apple, cherry, almond and many others, was perfected.”

i just thought these glasses were so original. (which means ten stores will copy them for next season and sell them for 1/4 the price. but, these adorable specimens might just be odd enough that they won’t appeal to mass market and hence won’t be worth knocking off…)

but do you see the bellies on these babies? perfect for the to-be-mom, or spare-tired mate, or me.

$85 available at BERGDORF GOODMAN on 5th and 59th.

finally got my butt over to APOTHEKE. opened in september, this health conscious establishment is a virgo, of course! APOTHEKE’S pharmaceutical concept perfectly manifests the traits of the most perfectionistic sign. no medicinal detail is forgotten, from the ancient caduceus logo to the science beaker lamps, to the bottles of ancient herbs stored on the top shelf—every element is consistent with the trendier than hell apothecary theme. if any sign were to prescribe a drink a day to keep the doctor away, it would be virgo…

i didn’t get his sign, but albert trummer is certainly the showman… sag? leo? aries perhaps? this man can flare bartend. he sauteed the bar in absinthe, and threw a match on it! he then poured himself a glass of absinthe—which he promptly lit up. he proceeded to light an army of absinthe filled glasses on fire. when he’d had his fill of fire mr. trummer dowsed the wild beast with a gargantuan bottle of dom. once i saw the flames start to die down, my heart started beating again. by that time i’d located every exit in the joint— just in case. (i have a thing with fire.) we all got to sample the flambeed glasses of gooey, syrupy absinthe along with champagne to wash it down with.

but how are the drinks? they’re very good. when i first arrived i was feeling tired, so i prescribed myself a FIVE POINTS, which is listed on the prescription list as a “stimulant.” (house elixir #4 with hibiscus, italian bitters, new york state grapes, house-pressed sugar cane-infused cachaca.) not sure if it was the drink or the wall of fire less than an arm’s length away, but it worked.

And so it begins, another Solar year here at IZ. Hands up, gentle readers, who among you have already stumbled on, broken, or otherwise, like yours truly, completely demolished their New Year’s Resolutions?

I’d like to think we’re in good company. Our human nature makes a perfectly fine and reasonable cause for toasting, don’t you think? Perhaps next year I’ll resolve to get over my growing sense of perfectionism (which, if you saw me typing this entry, you would understand completely. Bless you little spell checker!), but right now I truly believe it is time to let myself off the hook, and for all of you to do the same.
Every day is a good day for new beginnings. We don’t need it to be a Monday or a holiday to start a new project or change a habit. We can empower ourselves by truly stopping to consider our needs and then making desired changes according to the way we understand our minds, bodies and spirits to work. We know them best, after all.
I have had a lot of time to consider this while on the road. I spent the first part of 2010 in the desert, replete with all the silence and saguaros that I could stand, and was able to take the time to step outside of my long-held notions of self in order to find out what changes I truly wished to make, in what order and how important each truly was to my health and happiness.

It is heady stuff, and good food for thought on long hikes to the rare spots of water hidden in the mountains. Once back to the familiar and safe environs of my Silver Twinkie, though, I tend to ruminate on the lighter side of things, and perhaps have a laugh at how very human I am after all.

When I am struck by the humor of such things, and when I need to stop taking myself so very, very seriously, I have been known to put together a lovely and wonderful concoction called the Sake Martini.

In this particular martini manifestation, sake is substituted for vermouth, and being a white wine as well, brings a soothing and feminine quality to a cocktail traditionally associated with drab-suited businessmen seeing just how quickly they can ingest them before returning to the office or, more tellingly, before returning home. While I admire business savvy, I am very particular about what I consider good business savvy. Speedy consumption of good spirits is bad business, IMHO, so the only traditional element I retain in my mixing of martinis is the classic main ingredient: Gin.

[If you prefer vodka martinis I won’t hold it against you, but I’ll forever and steadfastly maintain that you aren’t drinking a martini. You’re drinking vodka in a martini glass.]

Gin is a tricky alcohol in the wide and wonderful world of mixology, and I think it’s probably safe to say that most first time gin samplings end in unmitigated disaster due to it’s very potent, as well as pungent, nature. To further complicate matters, juniper, gin’s reigning ingredient, is a fiery and masculine sort of plant, ruled by the sun. Additionally, the Brothers Grimm identified it with extreme feminine angst (most often applied liberally and vengefully) in their myriad works, so the foundation plant that allows us to have gin has enjoyed a rather confusing and powerful reputation for many generations, one that lingers on our psyches to this very day.

This is why I am particularly fond of one brand of gin amongst all the marvelous offerings out in the world today. Above all others towers the Great Shining Black Pillar that contains none other than Hendrick’s, a gin touted by its makers as both “ridiculously good” and “loved by a select few”, and with good reason, dear readers.
Hendrick’s methodology with one particular ingredient not only calms the fiery rage of sun-ruled juniper, but also makes their gin the perfect foundation alcohol with which to blend an appropriate cocktail for the turning of the Solar year AND the transition in Pisces within the first month. They have added a generous amount of the cooling and calming flavors and effect of cucumber. Being ruled by the moon and having a watery disposition, as well as being best planted during the turn of Pisces in the heavens, cucumber makes the very best partner for the vivacious juniper, and with it, Hendrick’s creates a flavor absolutely unique in the world of gin.

Your choice of sake in the matter is strictly yours. I sometimes prefer unfiltered for a sweeter drink, and it creates a lovely and wonderful snow globe in the martini glass that I’ll get lost in from time to time. Filtered is my main squeeze, though, and I mix them 2 parts gin to 1 part sake in a cocktail shaker full of ice.

Shake, strain, enjoy. It’s a simple as that.

And now, gentle readers, I believe it is time for me to get down to the business of figuring out how best to salvage 2010 from my ridiculous initial batch of resolutions and plotting something more realistic and forgiving for fostering long term change. And, since it’s strictly business, a martini is most definitely in order.

Cheers~Charon, The Most Dangerous Beauty Alive
theswordswallowers.com
oddangel.com

Charon Henning is one of a handful of female sword swallowers in the world today. She’s performed on carnival midways and at wine tastings, on theater stages and grassy lots.

Charon also reads tea leaves professionally, a skill she inherited from her grandmother on her mother’s side of the family. Tea-leaf reading is a wonderful and elegant form of entertainment, suitable for many time periods and venues.

Charon loves being on the road seeing new places and meeting new people. Want to catch Charon on the road for her live show? View her tour schedule here. Or, book Charon’s talent for your next event!

what a way to kick off the new year… cheers to american salon magazine for featuring intoxicated zodiac shot candles in the january issue. they also plugged us online, check out their “new & notable” column here.

IZ Shot Candles were made for Valentine’s Day… Perfect for the lascivious lover on your list. Hot, sexy, dripping, wet wax… what more could we want on V-day?! Make the recipe at home and do cocktail body shots at the same time for twice the fun. Just call me Dr. Ruth.

Email Info@IntoxicatedZodiac.com for wholesale info. Available for viewing or buying online here.